


Fanboy

by robinasnyder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fanfiction within fanfiction, Inspired by Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, M/M, thesamifercommunity big bang 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 65,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester has a horrible, terrible, very bad crush on Lucifer Milton. Sam’s crush was bad enough when he and Lucifer were still in high school, but now that they’re in college it’s just pathetic. Lucifer spent two years in Paris, studying art before he came back to Kansas to continue school. He’s beautiful, brilliant, and the most amazing artists Sam has ever seen. </p>
<p>And Sam is probably the worst artist Sam has ever met. Not that it matters. Sam’s real passion is writing, mostly fanfiction, like the Big Bang for his favorite series, <em>The Journey of Deborah</em>. So what if his favorite character, Mephistopheles, reminds him of Lucifer? So what if Sam pictures Lucifer was Mephis whenever Sam writes him? So what if Sam imagines himself as Mephis’s lover just so Sam can write himself kissing Lucifer? So what? His favorite pairing is as likely to happen as he and Lucifer is in real life. </p>
<p>As Sam begins work on his story he decides that he’s going to put everything into it. This is his last love letter written to Lucifer that Lucifer will never read. He’s going to pack up his feelings, stow them, and move on. He’s tired of being hung up on someone who doesn’t know he exists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Art by: [Casslastheaven](http://casslastheaven.tumblr.com)  
> Beta: [carry-on-my-wayward-heart](http://carry-on-my-wayward-heart.tumblr.com)

"You know you can't draw worth shit, right?" Alfie asked, as he settled himself against the tree Sam was sitting next to. "Even trying to be an art major, you can't draw worth shit. Even with all the years of art classes you took in middle school and high school and during the summer and now two years in college and you still can't draw worth shit."

"Shut up, Alfie," Sam muttered, trying and failing to draw Lucifer's face before he walked away. It was impossible. Even if Sam had any real skill, he'd still never be able to capture even a tenth of the life and energy and power in Lucifer's eyebrows alone. And the fact that Sam could unironically write a 200 line sonnet to the power of Lucifer's eyebrows just made it all the sadder.

"Just stick to writing. You capture him a lot better like that," Alfie said, talking the drawing pad from Sam's hands.

"Yeah," Sam said. Sometimes Alfie was just annoying enough that Sam kind of wanted to punch him in the face. But other times he remembered that Alfred Pike actually bothered to read all of his fanfiction and all of his drafts of the book Sam was writing and still wanted to be Sam's friend.

"And anyway you should put down your Lucifer problem and help me with my problem with his brother," Alfie grumbled.

"Gabriel likes Samandriel a lot," Sam said with an amused smile.

"He's too old for him," Alfie said.

"They're the same age," Sam pointed out, getting an amused look on his face. He sort of really enjoyed this argument because it was so ridiculous and Alfie believed it so much.

"He's three months older," Alfie grumped.

"Lucifer is two years older than me," Sam pointed out.

"And that's like you being in love with Brad Pitt, never gonna happen," Alfie said a bit cruelly. But Sam laughed. He laughed because this was the argument of a wounded animal knowing it was about to be killed and just trying to get in a few more swipes.

"The guy you're in love with is like 30+ years older than you," Sam said with an all too patient smile.

Alfie groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face. "Sam, now is not the time to remind me of that fact."

"And didn't he call you 'Son' the last time he saw you?" Sam asked, his smile getting broader. He was able to snatch his sketchbook from Alfie's lap with no struggle at all and he hadn't even gone in for the killing blow yet.

"Jesus Christ, Sam, you've got to stop!" Alfie pleaded.

"And hasn't Dr. Haggerty never shown even the slightest interest in you, no matter how much you batted your lashes at him in High School?" Sam pointed out.

"Fuck you, Winchester. He's here now, remember? He's not back in Podunk City anymore. Maybe I've got a shot now that I'm 19 and not his student," Alfie said.

"Please, for your own sanity, don't let yourself think that he followed you out here. He just got a better offer," Sam said, actually being gentle.

"I know!" Alfie snapped. Then he sighed softly. "I do know, Sam… but what about you? Have you gotten anywhere with talking to TA Lucifer?"

It was Sam's turn to groan into his hands.

"That bad?" Alfie asked.

"Worse," Sam said into his hands.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Alfie asked, shifting a little closer. Sam appreciated it, knowing that he wouldn't really have to talk as loud to be heard that way.

"No really," Sam said.

"Sam," Alfie said in a warning tone.

"I'm basically a mute idiot the whole time. I just sit there and listen to him say things and give suggestions. Except this time I tried to say something, and I told him that I always liked his work, even better now than before when he was in Paris."

"That… doesn't sound bad at all," Alfie said, looking confused.

"Well, it was bad that he just looked at me like he was really confused and I realized that he probably had no idea we even went to the same High School! I mean, I'm two years younger than him and it wasn't like he and Dean were exactly close," Sam said, groaning into his hands.

"Ouch," Alfie muttered. It wasn't like their town was actually a big place. Lebanon, Kansas was tiny. Like super tiny. Like, normal people would never believe that Lebanon's citizens had to go out of the state to find the closest movie theatre that had more than one screen. Everyone knew everyone. And everyone knew the Milton Family, the family that basically owned the town. If you got a job, it was with the Milton Family. And the Milton Family was basically the only one that had money, and they were flushed enough to send their son Lucifer to Paris to study art for two years.

"Yeah," Sam muttered, groaning even louder into his hands. "I'm such an idiot. I am so, so screwed. What do I even do?"

"Well… I think swapping Majors is a good start."

"What?" Sam asked, whipping his head around.

"Look, a double major is all fine and dandy," Alfie started. "And I understand why you're taking the pre-law track, and taking law classes."

"It's better to know than to get screwed over," Sam said. His family had a farm. He knew how important it was to know things. Dean was going to need him when Dean finally took over the farm. Having a lawyer on the payroll would keep their family safer.

"And I get that," Alfie said. "But you've taken about every English course you can. Why not switch to double majoring in Writing?"

"But, then I won't get to see Lucifer," Sam said quickly. He froze when he caught Alfie's look.

"Sam… it's not going to happen. And you don't really enjoy drawing, but I've watched you pound out five thousand words in one sitting."

"Fanfiction," Sam protested.

"And there are people who are getting their fics published as originals works," Alfie said.

"I really don't want to be compared to E.L. James," Sam muttered.

"I'm not saying that you have to be E.L. James. I'm saying that you love writing. You love writing and you don't love drawing, but you keep drawing literally only because Lucifer draws. You've got to stop." Alfie could be cruelly blunt sometimes, but Sam was surprised that this wasn't one of those times. Alfie really, really thought this was what Sam needed to do.

Sam sighed and got up, closing his notebook. "Okay, come with me to the English Department and help me get the change of Major forms filled out."

"Yes!" Alfie said, popping right up. He slung an arm around Sam's waist. Alfie wasn't small, but Sam was so much taller that Alfie had stopped throwing his arm over Sam's shoulders years before. "See, you should totally listen to me more."

"Yeah, yeah," Sam said. "If I did that, I'd be lusting after geriatric citizens too. Umph!" He laughed when Alfie punched him. Of course he deserved that.

"Fuck you, Winchester," Alfie muttered.

"Wouldn't you love to try?" Sam teased.

"Don't bet me Sam. You won't like how far I'll go," Alfie warned darkly.

Sam laughed. "Okay, okay, you win." He knew Alfie. He knew Alfie wasn't afraid to keep going until his opponent gave in. Sam didn't want to actually end up in bed with Alfie, which was exactly where they'd end up if Sam didn't back down.

"You bet I win," Alfie muttered as they walked.

* * *

Sam checked his tumblr account. He didn't think he had a huge amount of followers. Well, he had 354. It was a reasonable amount, nothing to write home about, but reasonable. And it was good enough that he actually had a few friends who he admired as awesome artists. He also had enough people he followed that he could no longer try to catch up to the last place he'd been the previous night on the Dash. He didn't even try.

That was probably why he's missed the big post going around from the Mephixander community tumblr. They were hosting a Big Bang. They'd already entered the sign up phase. Sam was on that like white on bread.

He quickly filled out his application and hit submit.

When he did that he sat back and grinned for about a minute before he realized he had no clue what to write.

Mephistopheles and Alexander were two characters, reincarnations from a previous life in ye olde Germany, where the two had done battle for the power to control Alexander's homeland. It was part of a larger plotline in the niche-fantasy book series _Journey of_ _Debora_. Not that Sam didn't enjoy the lead pairing for Alexander and Debora, but he always thought that Alex and Mephis were a million times more interesting.

They didn't even hate each other, they just sort of accepted that they had to fight. Besides, Debora was too busy fighting demons to pay attention to Alex (she was the reincarnation of the biblical judge Deborah, after all). And if Deb and Barack weren't gonna get it on, it would be a crying shame.

And it didn't hurt that Mephis really, really reminded Sam of Lucifer.

It was just kind of the way he spoke to Alex. This kind of very direct way of speech where the actual meaning of the words looped all around. Sam remembered listening to Lucifer verbally undress someone for something they'd said when Sam was a Freshman and Lucifer was a Junior.

It was the way he spoke that Sam remembered. It all seemed like very direct insults toward whoever it was (not that Sam remembered who or really exactly was said), it all sort of seemed to come back around to Lucifer, like he was really saying how much he sucked, not the person he was taking down. Not that anyone else saw it the way Sam did. And after six years, Sam couldn't remember the details that well.

But he remembered how it made him feel. Mephis talking with Alex reminded him of that feeling. It wasn't exact. Mephis always seemed to know just the right thing to say to hurt someone. But it was so much more impressive when you watched a person do that.

Not that Lucifer was horrible. He was horrible when the situation called for it. It was just his specific brand of horrible that got under Sam's skin in all the wrong ways. Sam shouldn't find that so attractive, but he did.

Sam sighed heavily. Alfie was probably right, although Sam hated to admit it. This was a lost cause. Lucifer, on a good day, looked right through him. Lucifer was amazing. He came from money. He'd become a great artist and Sam would always just be Sam. Just a farmer's kid.

Sam looked back at what he'd signed up for and then shut off his computer. He needed to do some homework, and if at all possible see if he could drop one of his art classes before the writing classes all filled up.

* * *

_Mephistopheles knelt at Alexander's feet, a defiant glint in his eyes. He was a demon in a human's body, a Prince of Hell, a powerful force of everything bad in the world. The binding spell on his neck simply meant that for the moment he was bound to a human's will._

" _Do it already," Mephis said, glancing at the ritualistic dagger sitting on Alexander's bedside table. Mephis was kneeling between Alexander's legs, where he'd landed when Alexander had told him to kneel._

" _I can't," Alexander said. He picked up the dagger and put it into her table side drawer. Mephis watched the blade closely as Alexander did so. It wouldn't just free him from his human vessel, it would kill him. He'd never allowed Alexander close enough to use it before._

" _Some blood sacrifice you need to make first?" Mephis taunted._

" _No," Alexander said. He reached out and rested his hand on the messy blond hair that covered Mephis's head and face. It had been a while since Mephis had shaved. He remembered Alexander having a beard once, in Germany. Now he was clean shaven, though his hair could use a trim._

" _Then why wait?" Mephis demanded. He froze when Alexander's fingers trailed down and twisted in Mephis's beard. Alexander tugged a little before making another loop in another part of the beard and tugging again. It didn't hurt at all, but it didn't matter because Mephis couldn't stop him, not when he was bound to Alexander's will. Mephis forced his face to look like stone, but he was scared. Would Alexander humiliate first? Would he make him stay still while Alexander did… anything, he could do anything he wanted and Mephis couldn't stop him at all._

" _Because," Alexander said, pulling his hand away for a moment. Then he tipped Mephis's head up so they could look at each other. Mephis glared at him. "I could do anything to you right now, but it would be wrong. You couldn't stop me."_

" _That's the point of this kind of spell," Mephis pointed out, though he knew that Alexander hadn't meant for it to happen. It was a stupid witch's spell backfiring horribly._

" _But I didn't cast it, Mephis," Alexander said. Mephis shivered at the way Alexander said his name, and then told himself that it was just the spell._

" _I know," Mephis said quietly. "You'd never do something so dishonorable." And while normally he would mock Alexander for that, for a moment Mephis was so glad that was true._

" _Thank you," Alexander said, and smiled a little. Mephis blamed the butterflies he felt in his stomach on the spell. "So, are you hungry?"_

" _I could eat," Mephis said._

" _Alright, then get up and I'll make soup," Alexander said. Mephis stood up on automatic, but he didn't worry about it too much. And he didn't worry about that he followed after Alexander without being told. When the spell broke, they'd be enemies again, but for a moment he knew that he could trust his captor._

\- "Captive Hearts" by Samallamin, Mephixander Fic Exchange Summer 2012


	2. Chapter 2

Sam did love Alfie, but he didn't really love Alfie's crush on an old man. It's not like James Haggerty wasn't an attractive man for his age, because he was. Dr. Haggerty had a full, thick head of dark brown hair, a properly groomed moustache and a very warm, but cynical dry wit. Sam had always enjoyed the man, who was one of the most educated people to come out of Lebanon, Kansas. That being said, he was in his late fifties at best, and Alfie wasn't even twenty yet.

Sam kind of wished that Dr. Haggerty hadn't agreed to be guest lecturer for their class that day. No, he really wished it. He really, truly, severely wished it. Alfie had insisted that they sit right up front, where Alfie proceeded to laugh at all of Dr. Haggerty's jokes, ask a million insightful questions completely related to the topic and hand, and basically bury all the rest of them. Which would have been fine if Alfie was normally a know-it-all. Normally he just sulked through this particular teacher's classes. Suddenly having him dominate the class was probably one of the least fun things ever.

Worst of all was that Alfie wanted to stay behind and talk to James. There was no way that Sam was going to leave Alfie behind and expose the poor man to a sexual harassment suit or something. Besides, it was a little nice to see their old school teacher again.

"I'm a little surprised to see you again," Dr. Haggerty admitted, straightening his papers. He dressed in a suit like he'd stepped out of _Mad Men_ or something. But he'd always done that. He looked like a college professor back when he still taught high school history. "You always talked about getting out of the state."

"Well, Washburn was less expensive, and if I do okay here I might be able to get into a decent Linguistics program later," Alfie said. He leaned against the teacher's desk, cocking his hips a bit. Sam didn't even think Alfie was aware. Sam stayed nearby, but he couldn't help but feel a bit excluded from the conversation.

"Still, do you have a program you want to go to?" Dr. Haggerty asked with a little smile. He wasn't an unattractive man, but Sam was never going to get the absolutely school boy crush Alfie had on the man.

"MIT," Alfie said. Dr. Haggerty nodded, and made a noise of agreement. Sam only knew that MIT had the best Linguistics program in the country because Alfie wouldn't shut up about it.

"I think you'd be a good fit there," Dr. Haggerty said. Alfie's ears turned pink and Sam turned to see Alfie beam with pleasure. He glanced over at Dr. Haggerty, who wore a surprisingly soft and gentle smile.

It wasn't like Dr. Haggerty was a hard ass. He could be very cynical some days, but he was very much a righteous soul, and didn't take cheating or bullying of any kind. So he could be very tough on his students. And he didn't smile, not like that anyway.

Sam cleared his throat.

"Oh, yes, Mr. Winchester. I was wondering how you've been doing with your classes as well." Dr. Haggerty turned to look at him. He didn't exactly frown when he looked at Sam, but he didn't look as happy anyway.

"They're going fine, Dr. Haggerty. How are things at KSU?" Sam asked.

"Ah, they're well. It's nice to teach classes where you have students who really want to be there… of course a lot of people just pick classes for required writing classes or some such," Dr. Haggerty said with a wistful sigh.

"How come you live here if you work in Lawrence?" Alfie suddenly asked. Sam glanced at him and saw Alfie's nervous face, only to turn back to Dr. Haggerty and catch a split second of his face having a very curious expression. It was that fond little smile again, but it seemed like more than that. Of course the look was gone before Sam could decipher it.

Washburn University was in Topeka, Kansas, about 53 miles and a full hour's drive away from KSU in Lawrence. For a small town like theirs where work wasn't always easy to come by, and work at a living wage was even harder to get (especially when there were plenty of people who wanted a job and plenty of teens willing to work for minimum wage) commuting was a pretty well known phenomenon. Sometimes the calculations were if the extra you could make by driving three and a half hours to Topeka (and three and a half back) where work was much more prevalent, or Junction City, only two and a half away (and then back again) but the work was less prevalent, was worth the extra money you'd make getting a job there.

But Dr. Haggerty had gotten a huge pay raise, with the possibility of earning even more over time, when he'd agreed to abandon High School teaching and finally teach at the level he'd really been educated to teach at. Sam also knew that the USD 237 administration and the Smith County Board of Education had inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. Dr. Haggerty had the highest education of any teacher in at least five counties. He'd been there for almost his entire teaching career, even though he continued to do research and publish papers and books at a collegiate level. It was costing them more than they could afford to keep him, even though with someone of his level they'd have been crazy to let him go.

"It turned out, my Dear Boy, that even spending as much money on gas as I am, that it would still cost me 2,000 dollars less a month to live there," Dr. Haggerty said. "But to be honest, I've always been fonder of Topeka than Lawrence. Lawrence always seemed too busy."

"You wouldn't do very well in New York City then, sir," Sam said like a joke. He glanced at Alfie to see he looked a bit dazed. Sam played Dr. Haggerty's words back in his head.

Alfie was probably one of the most sexually active and least innocent people Sam had ever met, but the idea that Alfie could be totally floored by the man he was in love with referring to him as "Dear" was somehow very sweet and not at all surprising.

"I must say, the one time I went, it all seemed very claustrophobic to me," Dr. Haggerty said. He glanced at the clock. "Alright, it's time for you both to go. I'm certain you've got classes."

"We do," Sam said. Alfie had an hour before his next class, but Sam was not going to leave him behind.

"Alright then," Dr. Haggerty said quietly. He'd already gathered up everything. Now he picked up his bag and jacket and ushered Sam and Alfie out.

"It's good to see you again, Dr. Haggerty," Sam said, grabbing Alfie's hand to drag him away.

"Bye," Alfie said quietly, waving to Dr. Haggerty as Sam dragged him away.

Sam dragged Alfie toward Sam's class, and therefore far away from Dr. Haggerty. He squeezed Alfie's hand tight to try and get him back to the land of the living.

"I'm so screwed," Alfie said. He sounded so depressed that Sam stopped and turned to look at his friend. Alfie's whole body was practically slumped. His shoulders had dropped, his head hung. He seemed to be pushed down under some large weight.

"Maybe not," Sam said. He almost hated to give Alfie hope, but Alfie perked up almost instantly.

"Really?" Alfie asked. Sam felt a painful tug in his chest. Alfie was just desperate for any sign that maybe he had a chance. Sam could relate.

"You realize you spent almost the entire class talking to you or with you, and after class was over the only reason he even knew I was there was that I kept butting in," Sam said.

"But I also could have just dominated his time," Alfie said, starting to slump again.

"Alfie, you know I don't want to encourage this… whatever it is, but I don't know. I mean it seemed like maybe there was something there. I don't know. But he just looked at you like there was something more than just a student. Now don't get too much hope. I might be wrong."

"But you really think you saw something?" Alfie asked. Sam hated giving him hope, and Alfie's face just shown with desperate hope. Still, Sam nodded.

"Yeah, I think I did," Sam said slowly.

"Thank God!" Alfie shouted and jumped up into the air, fists raised in victory.

Sam sighed heavily. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything at all.

* * *

"So, I hear that you told my brother to keep trying for his ridiculous crush," Matt Pike said when Sam got back to their dorm room. Matthias, Samandriel and Alfred Pike were triplets, all of them blond haired, blue eyed trouble makers. Sam had known them since they were kids, and Matt had been his roommate for the past two years.

"I didn't exactly mean to," Sam said.

"Then what exactly did you mean to do?" Matt asked.

"Oh, I don't know," Sam said, collapsing down onto his bed. Their dorm room wasn't the best thing ever, but it was harder to get a place at the Washburn Village where everyone could have their separate own rooms until they were Juniors. Sam was put into a room with Matt, and Samandriel and Alfie shared the next bedroom in the suite.

"You shouldn't be encouraging him," Matt said after he closed the door.

"Matt… you think it's possible that Dr. Haggerty likes Alfie back?" Sam asked.

"Dude, if he did it would be hella creepy," Matt said, throwing himself down on his own bed.

"Why? It's not like Dr. Haggerty followed after Alfie or anything. And Alfie only had him as a teacher for three years." The Pikes had moved to Junction City for the triplets' senior year.

"Yeah, but Alfie's only known the guy for like… I don't know how many years. Haggerty didn't live too far from our house, and whenever our dad threw a party or something he'd show up. We've actually known him longer than we've known you. And just like, one summer when we turned 14, suddenly Alfie just wanted the guy so much."

"Well… damn," Sam said quietly. There were three schools in all of Smith County, so while Sam and Dean lived in Lebanon, they still ended up going to school with kids from other parts of the state. Dr. Haggerty hadn't lived in Lebanon, so Sam just had never thought about him living near the Pikes.

"Yeah. It's weird enough that Alfie likes him, but it would be worse if Haggerty liked him back. So please, don't encourage him anymore, even a little bit," Matt said very seriously.

"Okay, deal," Sam said, raising his right hand in an "I swear" motion.

"Good," Matt said. He let out a puff of air, and then changed topics. "I heard you swapped majors."

"Yeah, well I'm basically the worst artist ever," Sam said. And truthfully he was relieved to not have to go back to the art classes anymore.

"Yeah, well, you won't see Lucifer anymore," Matt pointed out.

"Yeah, Alfie pointed that fact out to me already. He says I need to get over him," Sam muttered. Alfie was probably right, but Sam didn't want to get over Lucifer.

"Well… you could always join WASA," Matt pointed out. WASA stood for Washburn Art Student Association.

Sam made a face. "I'm not an art major anymore."

"And WASA isn't necessarily for artists. It's for people who appreciate art, which you actually do a whole lot," Matt pointed out. He nodded to the Art History books on Sam's shelf. He was still taking the art history class he'd signed up for that semester.

"Yeah, but only because I liked Lucifer's art. That's not exactly a noble reason to like something," Sam pointed out. He eyed the book as well. In all honesty, he was thankful to drop Drawing, but he'd allowed himself to keep the Art History class (his third that he'd taken so far), saying it would be credit for his core classes or something.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter if you have a noble reason or not. You appreciate art," Matt said. "And WASA takes a lot of time to go to art museums and get speakers and stuff. Look, you can like art and not be any good at it."

"I don't know… I mean I never joined it before because it sort of always felt like…" Sam trailed off.

"Felt like what?" Matt pressed.

"It felt like a lie. I mean, the only reason why I was doing art was because of my crush and because I couldn't think of anything better to do. I wasn't a "real" art major, or whatever," Sam said, letting it all out in a rush. He'd kept that in for three semesters and he couldn't believe that he'd even let himself pretend to be an art major for that long.

"Well, now it doesn't matter. You're not an art major anymore, and WASA is always desperate for members. They can never get enough people in who aren't art majors, so they look pretentious and no one wants to join. A Non-art major is rare currency around there."

"You know," Sam said, lying back on his bed. "You sure you don't want to be a lawyer? Or join Mock Trial? We still got spots open."

Matt laughed and threw a pillow at him, one of the crocheted ones his girlfriend kept making for him. Sam threw it back, only making Matt laugh harder. Sam let out a puff of air and then smiled. He rolled over so he could look at his roommate.

"You know, maybe I will join WASA," Sam said. He got up just enough to pull his bag over and fish his laptop out of it. He climbed onto the Washburn site and looked around for when WASA met. He knew it couldn't be near as often as the Mock Trial team, which took up way more of his time then just the official 4 hours a week the club met.

"Are you sending a "please accept me" email?" Matt asked with a grin. When Sam glanced over he saw that Matt was straightening his pillows.

"Yeah, yeah, just shut up," Sam said. He frowned when he saw that WASA only met once a month. He was going from seeing Lucifer about once a day for various reasons to only seeing him once a month.

"What?"

"They only meet the first Wednesday of each month," Sam said.

"Well, then they have special events too," Matt pointed out.

"Yeah," Sam said weakly. The next meeting was two Wednesdays away.

"Sam, this is a small campus, and you're still taking classes near the Art department rooms. You'll see him sometimes," Matt said with a surprisingly gentle tone.

"Yeah, I hope so," Sam said. He closed the site and pulled up his notes for Mock Trial. He still had studying to do. Mock Trial was the one thing that he couldn't really get behind on. It would eat him alive if he had to rush to study everything as the semester progressed.

* * *

_Mephis watched Alexander bake a birthday cake. He'd never done baking himself, and he was honestly surprised that Alexander knew how._

" _Are you certain this is going to taste good?" Mephis asked, looking down and away from Alexander's gaze. He pretended to be reading the directions on the back of the cake mix box._

" _It came out of a box. It'll taste better than the crap you can buy at store, but not as good was what Grandma used to make. Plus, there's really no true way to fuck it up so long as you followed the like five instructions on the box."_

" _And what if you didn't read it right?" Mephis asked with a little smirk. He cast his eyes up to see Alexander glare and him and purse his lips. Mephis liked when Alexander did that, he always looked about a step between "disapproving old lady" and "young woman posing with the duck face for a selfie"._

" _Well, I read them, you read them out loud and I checked the box again. So if I fucked it up, then we're both to blame," Alexander said. He squatted down to look into the oven's little peep hole thing. From where Mephis was seated on the little island in the school's community kitchen, he got a wonderful view of Alexander's glorious back he bent down like that._

" _More you than me," Mephis said, clearing his throat a bit._

" _How do you figure that?" Alexander snapped._

" _Welllll," Mephis crooned. "You were the one who actually mixed all the ingredients."_

" _Yeah," Alexander said, straightening up. A slow, lazy smirk spread across his lips. Mephis hated that look. Alexander only pulled it when he was 100% convinced he was right, and when he pulled that look, he was right almost 100% of the time. "Cause as I see it, it's more your fault. After all, you were the one who read and read and reread and reread the instructions, and watched me like a hawk while I worked. If I fucked something up, and you didn't stop me, then it's more your fault."_

" _Screw you," Mephis said, looking back down at the box. Alexander laughed and Mephis shivered a bit. When Alexander laughed more, Mephis turned and glared at him._

" _You know, it's not nice to laugh at someone on their birthday," Mephis said with a scowl._

" _I'm baking you a cake, aren't I?" Alexander asked, walking over to Mephis._

" _Yeah, well, you could be nice about it," Mephis muttered, looking back down at the box. Alexander's hand snaked out and rested on top of the box. Mephis looked up, suddenly realizing that Alexander was right in front of him._

" _Then I'll be nice," Alexander said with a little smirk. He leaned in and gave Mephis a kiss. It was short and tasted like cake batter, so it was perfect. "Nice enough?" Alexander asked with that slow, lazy smirk._

" _Shut up," Mephis said, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's neck and dragging him into another, longer kiss._

\- "Happy Birthday Mephis", by Samallamin, for Mephis's 25th (or 20000+ some odd) birthday


	3. Chapter 3

Sam loved Mock Trial. He liked it when he was in high school. He liked it more now that he was in college. In high school, the pool of people was only the hundred or so odd students of USD 237 High School, which could generally be described as a "piddly little amount" compared to the well over 6,000 students that occupied Washburn. In high school, Sam had barely been able to keep enough students together enough to form a team. Washburn had more than enough students to form two teams if they wanted, and still have people left over.

Sam hadn't been able to actually compete his first year, and outside of scrimmages, Sam wasn't going to compete his second year (not as a lawyer anyway), but he got to practice against people who were actually in the Law School. In three semesters of being at Washburn, Sam was so much better at legal argument than he'd been after four years of Mock Trial at USD 237.

Sam liked coming together with other students, students who actually wanted to be in school in the first place, and putting together a team, an argument, a story, all from the bottom up. Even only being a witness this year didn't even deter Sam's spirits. When he'd been a witness his freshman year of high school his lawyer had been so useless that Sam had to defend himself against the opposing counsel all on his own. The judges (all lawyers themselves) said he was so good at playing a Doctor that one of the judges actually forgot for a minute that he wasn't watching a real Doctor being cross examined.

This year he was a farmer, but that was fine. He'd been a farmer all his life. He'd seen one of the other team's play the same character and he'd nearly groaned out loud during the scrimmage. The guy had lived in Kansas all his life, but had clearly never left a big city. He pulled on a super thick country accent and played dumb as hell. Sam wrote a long, lengthy, scathing review of that one guy alone.

No, Sam was never going to play a farmer as an idiot, because farmers couldn't be dumb. If they were dumb they'd never be able to make it, especially not in the current market. He knew his parents lived in constant fear of being swallowed up by a corporation, and even the people who farmed land for the Milton's Farming Group still worried about being bought out or railroaded out of work by a much larger group.

So no, Sam wasn't going to play a farmer as stupid. He'd play it with as much integrity as he could, and hopefully he'd one day be a good enough lawyer that he'd be able to defend farmers from those big businesses. He and Dean would be a team, with Dean's Agi-Sci skills and Sam's legal knowledge, they'd never have to fear about having their farm snatched right out from under their feet.

"Hey, Winchester, pay attention," Brady said. Sam's head shot up. He did his best to fight down a blush. Before he could worry about saving the day on his own farm, he needed to focus on Mock Trial which was actually physically going on in front of him at that very moment.

Well, to be fair, it wasn't like it was the world's most interesting day. They were working on refining the lawyer's questioning of the witnesses. Mostly they were down to nuts and bolts at this point, trying to make it seem more genuine and less rehearsed. If it was too rehearsed then the lawyer or the witness could get flustered and turned around when the opposing team threw out objections. Sam knew it happened just because of the scrimmages he'd seen take places. That, and he'd had his witness in his sophomore year of high school lose all of their composure on the stand.

So Sam forced himself to pay attention and to take notes. He'd been doing this long enough that he was basically certain he wouldn't freeze. Now, he wasn't 100% certain how he would cover if he did have a moment where he got confused. But he knew that his want to win and his want to not be horribly humiliated meant he would at least stay in character.

Practice slogged on until time to go. Sam nearly groaned in relief as he packed up. He did groan a bit when Brady came over.

"What do you want?" Sam grumbled.

"Geez, Winchester, PMS much?" Brady asked with a laugh.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Sam muttered. "Anyway, I'm tired and I want to go home. So what do you need?"

"I was trying to see why you were so spaced, my friend," Brady said, slinging his arm around Sam's shoulders. Sam didn't sigh, but it was a close thing.

"Well, this wasn't exactly the most interesting day, was it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, but you normally pay really close attention," Brady pointed out. He wasn't Sam's closest friend, but Sam did like him.

"Yeah… well, I've got a lot going on right now. I dropped the Art major and changed to English," Sam said.

"Good, you're a horrible artist," Brady said.

"Gee thanks," Sam muttered. He always knew he was bad, but apparently everyone thought he just straight up sucked and no one thought it would be kinder to tell him before he finished the damn degree.

"Well, it's true. Your boy crush is a terrible, terrible reason to study anything," Brady said.

Sam felt his face get really hot. "How did you know about that!?" Sam nearly shouted. He hadn't told Brady about Lucifer. As far as Sam knew, the only people who knew about Lucifer were the Pikes, Dean, Dean's besties, Charlie and Benny, and Dean's two lovers, Cas and Lisa.

"Dude, it's been written all over your face since day one," Brady pointed out. "You stop mid-sentence to watch him walk by, and you always talk about how great his newest piece is. You're either in love with him or you're a serial killer plotting to murder him."

"I assure you that I am not plotting to murder him," Sam said, nearly rolling his eyes.

"So you're totally head over heels, and that's fine and all, but you were letting a crush rule what you were going to do with your education and your future, which is super not cool," Brady pointed out.

"It wasn't like that," Sam said quietly.

"Really, then what was it like?"

Sam thought about it for a minute. Brady kept walking beside him, and Sam realized that Brady would probably sit outside his room all night waiting for an answer. It kind of pissed Sam off, but then he felt a little relieved. Brady was trying to take care of him.

"Okay, maybe that is what it's like," Sam admitted. "But I've changed to something else that I really like. So it's fine."

"I don't know," Brady said. "You were ready to do something you really didn't like to be close to this guy. It can't be healthy."

"Well, I never said it was healthy," Sam said with a snort.

"Do you think you'd ever have a chance with him?" Brady asked.

"Well… I don't know."

"Sam?"

"No, I don't think I've got a snowball's chance in hell."

"Then maybe you need to stop obsessing over this guy," Brady said, making his voice surprisingly gentle.

"How?" If only it was something he could just turn on and off.

"Look, what you need is some kind of closure, a way for you to say goodbye to this guy. And it can't just be a little goodbye. It's gotta be the big "I'm not ever going to go after you again" goodbye. It's the only way to close this chapter."

"Yeah, and all of that sounds good, Brady. But how?" Sam asked.

"Well, some kind of big gesture or something. Not to him specifically, but like, something for yourself."

"You don't have any way to be more specific, do you?" Sam asked with exasperation. Nothing could be easy, could it?

"Sorry, this isn't my area of expertise," Brady said.

Brady walked with Sam to the dorm, where they went their separate. Sam assumed Brady was going back to his room. Sam didn't exactly care where Brady went so long as he was away. Sam headed to the communal kitchen. He'd need to go get things from his room if he wanted to cook something, but he didn't want it to be full of people if he was going to make something.

He paused, seeing Samandriel feeding Gabriel chocolate chips. Gabriel sucked Samandriel's finger into his mouth and sucked the chocolate off. The two of them didn't even seem to notice that Sam was standing right there, even when Sam cleared his throat.

"Um, excuse me," Sam finally said.

"You're excused," Gabriel said, not even looking up. Samandriel at least turned to see who it was.

"Hi Sam," Samandriel said, looking over his shoulder. Then he fished a few chocolate chips out of the bag and offered them to Gabriel again.

"You know, I'm not covering for you if Alfie asks where you are," Sam said.

"Or you could not tell and we'll give you some cookies," Gabriel said.

"Okay, fair trade," Sam said. He walked in and picked a fresh baked cookie out of its little tin. "Mmm, this is good. I didn't think Alfie let you cook, Sammy."

Sam really liked calling Samandriel "Sammy". It was nice to have someone else to call that after all the many long years Dean had been calling him Sammy, despite his insistence that did not want to be called that.

"I can't cook to save my life," Samandriel said.

"True," Gabriel piped in.

"Gabriel baked them," Samandriel added with a proud smile.

"Cool," Sam said. "So, I got stuff to make fresh mac and cheese, I'll trade you two-thirds of these cookies for a share of dinner."

"You're on," Gabriel said.

"Be right back," Sam said. He finished off his cookie and licked his fingers, going and getting his supplies from his room. They had a mini fridge in their apartment. It was shared between the four of them, except that Alfie snuck a little one under his bed, which helped since Alfie would rather cook than eat something someone else cooked. The bigger one in the shared living area had an actual working freezer that Sam was super proud of. It was really tiny, and mostly they kept ice cream sandwiches in there, but it was nice to have.

Under the leftover pizza, Sam found the block of cheese that he'd put aside for this endeavor and he tossed it into the box he carried out with all his other non-knife supplies (as knives were strictly forbidden, at least sharp ones were). He went back to the kitchen, glad he hadn't run into Alfie or Matt.

"So, you guys want to help me?" Sam asked when he set his box down.

"Gabe will," Samandriel said. He was cleaning the dishes in the sink.

"Thanks so much," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes and he started to help Sam get stuff out of his box.

Once Samandriel got finished with the washing he got out of the way to let Sam and Gabriel work. Sam was a little surprised how easy it was to work with Gabriel. In no time they were finished and plates were filled with warm, gooey pasta.

"So, Samallamin," Gabriel said.

Sam's face got really red. "Oh hell, did you tell him?" Sam accused Samandriel.

"Yeah… well, I wasn't exactly trying to. I forgot that Gabriel was on my tumblr too. And when I reblogged the sign up and mentioned that you were going to be in it… you know, to try and get some artists in on it… anyway, Gabriel saw it and figured it out."

"No secrets on the internet," Gabriel said in a sing song voice.

"I hate you," Sam groaned.

"No, I think it's sweet. So, who's the guy you're writing all those love letters to?" Gabriel asked, before taking a big bite of mac and cheese.

"I don't write love letters," Sam said. Well, not that he ever posted on his blog.

"Dude, you're so obviously an Alexander stand in," Gabriel said with a laugh. Sam felt his face get ever redder. "So, who is your Mephistopheles?"

"No, no way I'm telling you!" Sam said. No way was he going to tell Gabriel Milton that Sam had a horrible and inappropriate, bordering on stalker and serial killer crush on his big brother. It simply wasn't going to happen.

"Why not?" Gabriel whined.

"Because knowing you, you'll call home and tell everyone," Samandriel said, rolling his eyes.

"What? I would not," Gabriel said, faking being affronted.

"Oh please," Samandriel said with heavy sarcasm in his tone. He gave Gabriel a look and Gabriel laughed.

"Okay, so maybe I would," he said and shook his head. "But I still want to know."

"So not telling you," Sam said. He stuffed food in his face so he wouldn't have to answer Gabriel any more than that.

"Hmph! Fine," Gabriel said. He didn't really seem too offended. Mostly he seemed excited, which didn't bode well for Sam. "But I am gonna try and find out who this dude is."

"Look, it doesn't even matter, because I'm trying to get rid of my feelings for him," Sam said. He really needed a big gesture. He had to end this before Lucifer and everyone else found it. Sam would be ruined at home forever and honestly it was getting unhealthy.

"Really Sam?" Samandriel asked. He sounded really sympathetic. He reached out and took Gabriel's hand and squeezed it.

"How come?" Gabriel asked, a little more quiet and serious and tone.

"Because I need to," Sam said. "I just need to. I can't keep feeling like this. I can't let myself be ruled by my feelings. It's not good for me."

"Yeah, I can get that," Gabriel said. Sam knew Gabriel understood. Everyone knew about Gabriel's disastrous crush on Kali.

"So what are you going to do?" Samandriel asked.

"I don't know. Brady said I needed closure, and I should do some big, grand gesture to say goodbye to my feelings," Sam said.

"How about your big bang?" Gabriel asked.

"Really?" Samandriel asked with exasperation. "He's trying to get over him."

"Yeah, but he's doing it anyway, and all of his Mephixander stories are basically Sam X Some Dude. So have this be the end. This part of your life is wrapped up in this guy so you gotta put it down too. So write a big story, the one you've always wanted to write, but have always been too afraid to write. Make it big, 100k, 150k, 200k, 250k, whatever it takes. Get it all out, and then retire from Mephixander," Gabriel said, getting really impassioned as he spoke.

"I can't do that!" Sam said. He loved the pairing. He loved the books. He'd have to put aside more of tumblr and a lot of his online friends.

"Sam! The point of a big gesture is that you understand that once you've done it, that it's over. I think Gabriel might be right about this. If you try to put down your feelings for… your paramour, but keep writing Mephixander, the feeling won't have time to go away. You'll just be feeding them," Samandriel said, catching on to what Gabriel was saying.

"So, what are you saying?" Sam asked.

"By the time the big bang is over, you'll have finals. And once finals are over comes summer. You can start working on a new series to get obsessed over, maybe a TV show or something. Everyone seems to love _Doctor Who_. Once the Big Bang ends, you put down _The Life of Debora_ until school starts up again in the fall. Pick up something else. By then, hopefully, you'll have had time to detox thinking about that guy and you might be able to pick up your favorite books again. But you need time away from all this," Gabriel explained.

"But first you need to be so head deep in it that you're just damn sick of it," Samandriel added.

Sam didn't like it. He didn't like it at all, but he couldn't think of a better solution. "I don't even know what I want to write about yet," Sam said.

"Oh come on, I know writers. You've all got that one huge idea you're terrified to write," Gabriel said flippantly.

"Dick," Sam muttered. But Gabriel was right. He was right about all of it, really.

Sam let himself think of that one really, really big thing he'd always wanted to do. He had it on his tumblr, written out in a few paragraphs sort of wishing someone would see it and do it. It wasn't a hard topic, but the detail he wanted to go into it was huge.

"Yeah, okay, I'll do it," Sam said.

"Good job!" Sam heard Samandriel say vaguely off somewhere in the distance. He didn't really listen, though. He was busy plotting out everything he was going to do.

"Sam? Sammykins?" he heard.

"Hm?"

"I said, are you gonna help us with the dishes or what?" Gabriel asked.

"Oh, yeah," Sam said. He quickly finished of his mac and cheese and then got up and helped Gabriel and Samandriel do dishes. His brain wasn't really in it, though. Honestly, he was lucky that his dishes actually got cleaned. Samandriel packed up his box of supplies and tucked some of the cookies in there too.

Sam walked back his room. He put the supplies in the mini fridge and then put his box away. He dragged out his laptop and started searching his tumblr. He needed to look over his old prompt and see where he should start.

* * *

_I want an AU where Alexander comes to work for a company that Mephis works at. And it's Mephis and his demon brothers who run it, so even though Mephis is only a few years older, he's already got a great job. Well, he's been raised in the company, so he knows way more about the positon than any outsider could anyway, so of course he deserves it._

_But Alex is just an intern and he's working for Mephis and one day Mephis turns to him and goes "you know, if you'd blow me, I'll bump you up the ladder faster." And at first Alex is all hurt and says no, but eventually he does say yes._

_And so they start sleeping together. And it's not just like a little thing for either of them. They spend half their time laughing their way through sex. They don't try to impress each other. They just laugh and enjoy, and it's all very tender, so this needs to be written by someone awesome (not me, haha)._

_And then Beelz finds out about it and he makes a bet with his little brother. He bets Mephis that Alex only cares about him for the promotion. And Mephis agrees. So he keeps not promoting Alex. Every time Mephis is about to, Beelz whispers in his ear that if Alex REALLY loved Mephis that he'd wait for one more promotion._

_Finally Alex is starts to feel abused and used, and he applies to other jobs, just because he knows even if he can stay with Mephis (though he's not sure he can, because now he's certain Mephis is holding him back for a reason) he can't stay at the company. And Mephis finds out that Alex is leaving and he feels like Alex never really loved him at all._

_So it's angsty, but it has to have a good ending where Mephis quits and decides to try doing something he really wants to do, like painting or something, and Alex gets the other job and they're happy together. The end._

-"You know what I really want?" by Samallamin, posted on his tumblr August 2011.


	4. Chapter 4

"I will kill you in your sleep, you so better try-try an' keep awake," Emerson sang, her toes actually twitching as they hung off Matt's bed. Matt sang along with her, though badly off pitch. Sam drummed along on his textbooks.

He should be writing. He had 2k word goal for that day to meet, and he had homework to still do, but he'd much rather do anything but. That was the writer's plight. He should be writing, but God in Heaven! Did he ever hate writing!

The song ended and they all laughed.

"I love you, my darling, but you have a truly horribly singing voice," Emerson said, curling up and giving Matt and kiss on the cheek.

Emerson had been dating Matt since their freshman year. So far she was the only significant other that either of the other two brothers liked. She was in their year, studying biochemistry. Her father was apparently an MD who ended up working on medications. She was a little shorter than the Pike brothers, with white skin, wide hips, small bust and mid back-length strawberry blonde hair. She spent a significant amount of attention to how she looked, with the end result that she looked pretty damn good. She studied hard too, which is what she was actually doing curled up on Matt's bed.

They studied together surprisingly well. They'd curl their legs together, lie on their stomachs and read passages from their textbooks back and forth. Sam had learned to ignore this disgustingly cute show by plugging in his head phones and focusing on his work.

But oh, he did not want to work today. Hence why he turned on his laptop's playlist "accidentally" without headphones, knowing the songs were catchy enough that Emerson would start singing and then Matt would sing and them Sam could be properly distracted and not feel too bad about it.

"Okay, I think that's enough," Emerson said.

Still, Sam had to curse her for her practicality.

"Fine," Sam said, putting his headphones in. He didn't put them in his ears, though. He just looked over at Matt and Emerson as they curled around each other and set their textbooks back up.

Yeah, no, he couldn't do it. He got up and went out to the shared living area where the sink was. He noticed that Alfie and Samandriel's door was shut. Normally he'd leave them alone, but today a shut door just felt like an invitation for knocking.

"Come in!" Alfie's voice said once Sam had knocked. Sam entered and shut the door behind him.

Alfie was pacing around his room. It looked like half his closet was strewn over both his and Samandriel's beds and Samandriel was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Sammy?" Sam asked. He moved clothes off one of the chairs and sat down.

"Out screwing Gabriel, I imagine," Alfie said. Sam cocked an eyebrow.

"You don't sound too worried."

"Hm? Oh yeah, I'll give him hell later about it. For now, I need some help," Alfie said. He'd stopped pacing for a second. He picked up too shirts and held them out in front of him. "Which one of these makes me look more mature, but not like I'm trying too hard."

"Um?" Sam started.

Alfie threw both shirts down. "I knew it! I knew it! I don't have anything good enough! I'm not good enough! Why did I try this?!"

"Okay, okay, easy, back up," Sam said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. He held up his hands in a placating motion. "What is this, exactly?"

"I'm going to tell Dr Haggerty that I like him," Alfie said.

"Oh- Shit! Alfie! Are you crazy?" Sam asked. He jumped out of his seat. Alfie lowered himself down on the bed, on top of his clothes.

"No, Sam. For once I'm very, very sane. I've been in love with him for as long as I could remember. And I think if I'm ever gonna have a chance, it's gonna be now. And even if I don't… well, it's not like I have to see him all the time now, does it? He doesn't teach here, and I can just walk away when I see him. But I'm tired of feeling frantic. I just want these feelings to be done. So I'm gonna do it. And if it's no… well, then it's no. But at least I'll know and I won't have to keep guessing."

"Shit," Sam breathed, dropping down into the chair again. He hadn't heard Alfie be so straightforward about anything before, ever. His logic was pretty sound too. And it was brave. And it was such a big contrast to how manic Alfie had seemed only a minute before.

"Yeah, so can you please help me pick out which clothes I'm going to wear tonight?" Alfie asked.

"Yeah, sure," Sam said. They both stood and walked over to the beds. Sam glanced over all the clothes spread out over the two beds. "So, what's tonight?"

"Men of Letters club. I'm going to go, and when it's over, I'm gonna tell him," Alfie said calmly.

"In that case, this one," Sam said, picking out a blue button up shirt with very thin purple strips. It looked casual enough far away, but closer it looked nicer. Alfie wanted to seem casual to start with. "And those really dark blue skinny jeans you like so much. It frames your ass really well. And those boots you really like."

"Thanks, Sam," Alfie said quietly. He started to undress. Sam turned away to give Alfie privacy.

Honestly, he couldn't believe Alfie was doing this. Sam would never have the guts to do something like this. It was nerve-wracking for Sam. Alfie just suddenly seemed so damn calm about it. There was no way to talk him out of it. And maybe it was better for him to just do it and get it over with.

"How do I look?" Alfie asked. Sam turned around.

"Um… you look good… hold on." He grabbed Aflie's hand and dragged him out to little joined area. It wasn't hard to find the hair gel. He poured some in his hands and worked it liberally into Alfie's hair, styling it in a way that looked like bedroom sex hair.

"Thanks, Sam," Alfie said quietly.

"You're welcome," Sam said. "You look great."

"Thank," Alfie said. He seemed really low energy.

"You wearing some of your panties?" Sam asked, putting on a mischievous little smile.

Alfie grinned. "The pink ones, yeah."

"See, you're wearing your best ego boost. It'll be good," Sam asked.

"Thanks," Alfie said, sounding a little brighter. He wrapped his arms around Sam and hugged him tight. Sam hugged him just as tight back, having to bend over some to be able to do it.

"Go," Sam said, slapping Alfie's ass as he turned away. Alfie laughed hard and strode out.

Silently, Sam sent up a prayer for Alfie. There were so many, many ways this could blow up in Alfie's face.

* * *

Alfie was a nervous wreck. There was no other way to describe it than that. This may very well be the most important conversation of his life and at this point there was no way he was going to turn back. He was sitting listening to Grad-student Jenkins talk about dead languages. Normally Alfie would care, in fact he'd be really, really interested. If it were any other night, anyway.

Dr. Haggerty looked amazing that evening. He often came to help lead the Men of Letters meeting. Alfie always came even if Dr. Haggerty wasn't there. He really liked the club. If Dr. Haggerty turned him down, Alfie wondered if he'd still be welcome.

He tried to just breathe. He didn't want to look terrified. He felt terrified. It was a little like when a teacher would say they have the tests done, but they wouldn't have them out until the end of class after they announced that. There was no way an of the students could listen after that, too busy imagining their grades dropping every second as they had to sit and wait an hour or longer to hear the results.

Oh this was such a bad idea!

But he was going to go through with it. He had to or he was going to lose his mind.

He wasn't certain how he was able to sit still for so long, but he felt like the meeting went all too slowly and yet all too fast. When it was over he stood and chit chatted with some of the other MOL members. But he kept one eye on Dr. Haggerty, making certain he didn't go anywhere. But he had students talking to him.

When a few people cleared out he made his way to Dr. Haggerty slowly. He wanted less people around. In fact, he hung around until only about three people were left besides himself and the two professors. Then he stood to the side near Dr. Haggerty, but he didn't interrupt his conversation. When the student excused himself that just left two others talking to Prof. Jenkins.

"It's good to see you again," Dr. Haggerty said.

"You can call me Alfie," Alfie said quickly. He nearly winced. Well, that was an awkward way to start. Dr. Haggerty seemed to hesitate.

"Are you certain?"

"Alfred is a butler name. Al is a trucker name. Fred is a Flintstone. Alfie's as good as it gets, I'm afraid," Alfie said.

Dr. Haggerty chuckled and Alfie felt himself smile and his cheeks heat up a bit. "Alright, Alfie."

"Um, Yes," Alfie said. He was certain he was bright red. He didn't know if Dr. Haggerty had done it on purpose, but he seemed to growl Alfie's name a little and that was exciting and made Alfie's stomach drop right out.

"Yes?" Dr. Haggerty prompted when Alfie didn't say anything for a while.

"Yes, ah…. Yes! Ah, yeah, that's it! So, I had a question about your lesson the other day. But It's um…. A little embarrassing," he said, glancing over at the other students and Professor Jenkins.

"Oh, yes, I understand…. Would you walk me to my car?" Dr. Haggerty asked.

"Thank you," Alfie said with relief and followed the other man out. Dr. Haggerty waved at Professor Jenkins and wished his goodnights and walked out into the hallway. There were lights on, but it was dark outside and that seemed to leech into the very building where only the most necessary lights were turned on. It was silent, Alfie could hear their footsteps.

It made him nervous. He was afraid that he'd feel safe and then someone would show up in the middle of him speaking and Alfie would lose his nerve. So Alfie didn't speak while they walked out of the building. He didn't talk as the crossed the green and got to the parking lot. He didn't even talk when they go to the car.

"It must be really embarrassing for you to be so shy, Alfie. I've never known you to be so quiet," Dr. Haggerty said with good humor in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm just nervous," Alfie said, scratching his head.

"What do you have to fear?" Dr. Haggerty asked warmly. "Have you ever known me to refuse you anything, even when it was probably for your own good?"

Alfie was so, so glad that it was too dark for Dr. Haggerty to see his face, because he was definitely cherry red now. When he was a boy, he used to make his eyes huge when he wanted an extra piece of candy and Dr. Haggerty would laugh and give it to him. All three of them had the man wrapped around their little finger. When Alfie got older, when he was in middle school, he'd go to Dr. Haggerty and ask him for help with his homework, and Dr. Haggerty would always help him even though Alfie's middle school work had nothing to do with his own courses. In high schoo,l he'd pick Dr. Haggerty's brain for projects or about current events, or applying for colleges or anything at all. He'd gone to the man so much of his life, asking for totally innocent things just to have a little more of the man's time.

Dr. Haggerty was his first love, and meant everything to Alfie. How in the world was he supposed to communicate the deep, painful, terrible, wonderful feelings this man gave him? And worse yet, and how was he supposed to communicate this to the man himself?

"Alfie?" Dr. Haggerty asked, sounding a little worried.

"I'm in love with you!" Alfie blurted out. He felt like his world fell to pieces when he saw Dr. Haggerty's face change to something closer to worry to something akin to horror.

"Alfie," Dr. Haggerty started.

"Please, please, at least let me get it all out? If I have to ruin this, at least let me say it all, please?" Alfie begged.

Dr. Haggerty looked like he might argue, but then he nodded. He shut his mouth and didn't say anything else.

"I have been in love with you since I was 14. Maybe before then. But that was when I figured it out. But I knew that it wasn't going to happen then, so I just hid it as much as could. I knew that even if… you liked me too…" He took a deep breath at that painful thought, knowing it wasn't possible. "That you were far too moral to accept me then. It was part of what I liked about you. You are a moral man. When I was younger I thought I wanted to be just like you, and then I realized that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be with you."

"Alfie," Dr. Haggerty said again.

"Sir, please!" Alfie said a little more desperately. "I'm almost done, okay. I just need you to know that this isn't a little thing for me. This isn't a boyish crush. I've felt so strongly about you for a long time. I've dated others, both casual and longer term. I didn't see you at all last year. But now you're nearby and you're not my teacher and I just want you! I just really want you! I want whatever you're willing to give me. But I love you, okay? I really love-"

He found himself cut off by a press of lips. It shocked him for a moment, but then he melted into it. Dr. Haggerty's lips were chapped, but they felt beautifully warm and full. He tasted a little like something sweet, something that he probably had for dinner, and Alfie didn't even care because he was kissing the man of his dreams so it was perfect.

Alfie slipped his hands up into Dr. Haggerty's hair. He twisted and tangled his fingers into the thick brown hair and tugged a little, giving himself a better reach to the man's mouth. Dr. Haggerty had been carrying a briefcase out to the car, but he must have dropped it, because Alfie felt two warm hands gripping his back. He let out a little groan and then a happy hum.

That woke them up a little, reminding them that they were in a school parking lot, and though it was late, they could still be seen. They eased away. Alfie ran his fingers over his lips. They felt… he couldn't think of another word for it but full, like his lips had absorbed a little bit of the love of his life. It felt like warmth and solidness.

Dr. Haggerty was busy straightening his hair. Alfie imagined that he was blushing like crazy. Alfie liked the idea that maybe he made Dr. Haggerty's heart pound like Dr. Haggerty made his heart pound. Alfie knew he was smiling like a love struck boy.

Dr. Haggerty cleared his throat and Alfie just smiled, but he wasn't going to speak first. He'd said everything he needed to say.

"I think," Dr. Haggerty said slowly. "That it might be time you call me James."

Alfie laughed for joy and hugged the man tight.

* * *

"So?" Sam asked the next day between classes. Alfie had the oddest expression on his face. He just seemed… quiet. It didn't tell Sam anything except that something had changed, because Alfie normally was so emotional.

"I told him," Alfie said quietly.

"And?" Sam asked, speaking in a loud whisper, feeling anxious.

"He kissed me," Alfie said, a smile starting to bloom on his face and it was the most purely happy Sam had ever seen him look.

"And?"

"And it was nothing like I thought it would be," Alfie said, his smile getting wider.

"What does that mean?" Sam asked, feeling confused. It had worked? How had that worked?

"It means it was perfect," Alfie said quietly. "He took me to a coffee shop and we just sat. We talked a little, about coffee and history. He told me what his new house is like and missing his old house. I told him about missing my room sometimes, because I had one to myself."

"And that's it?" Sam asked.

"I have a date with him Friday evening. We're going to get coffee again, nothing suspicious. I might get another kiss before the night is over," Alfie explained.

Sam felt stunned through his bones. Alfie was the type of person who felt disappointed if his first date didn't involve hand jobs in the bathroom. A shared kiss and coffee for two dates in a row normally wouldn't be something Alfie would want at all.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" Sam asked.

Alfie's smile was so soft, and just so very happy. "He told me I could call him James."

Sam laughed a little. He still couldn't believe it. He knew there were a million reasons to be scared for Alfie, but instead he smiled back. He felt some of his own fear slip away. For a moment, even just a moment, it was good for Alfie.

"Good, that's really good," Sam said.

"Yeah, I think so too," Alfie said with a little laugh.

* * *

 _Alexander couldn't quite believe his eyes. He knew that the Parsons family inherited the company after their father's death at a young age, but he couldn't believe that the man who saw across from him, the man sitting behind the name plate which clearly read "_ Mephistopheles Parsons _" was so young. He couldn't be more than 25 and that would mean that if Alexander was lucky that his new boss was a few months older than him._

_But Alexander suspected he might be younger._

" _Sir?" Alexander asked._

" _Hmm?" the man sitting at the manager's desk said. Alexander realized with a blush that the man was unabashedly looking him up and down._

" _Sir?" Alex asked again._

" _Yes, I read your resume, top of you class, two internships at top firms. Your family must come from a lot of money to be able to afford all this for you," the man said, picking up Alexander's resume and flipping through it._

" _Not really, Sir, no," Alex said, trying not to blush. Truth was that he was practically drowning in debt. He'd be mostly on scholarship for school and he'd saved up a little money for work study and a second job he took, but all of that had been eaten up quickly from the first internship and he'd taken out major non-educational personal loans. He needed a job that paid money._

_This was supposed to be his third internship._

_And what did a Parson's kid who'd clearly had his job handed to him have to say about how Alex made money anyway?_

" _You misspelled "Actuary" here, I see," Mephistopheles Parsons said. Alexander felt his ears get very hot. Brilliant! How had he missed that?_

" _I'm sure I didn't," Alexander found himself saying._

" _It's right here," the man said, circling it with a red pen and handing the file over to Alexander._

_Alex reached out and took it. He felt his face get really red. He had, in fact, misspelled "Actuary". He'd spelled it "Atacury". It wasn't even just a simple matter of flipping two letters either. Alexander was a little surprised that his new boss had never been able to figure out what he'd been trying to say._

" _See," the man said, wrenching the file out of Alexander's hands._

" _Yes, I did," Alexander said, gritting his teeth. Shameful. This was just shameful. Was he about to be fired before he even started?"_

" _Good. Now the first rule is to never contradict me," the man said. "The second rule is that if you really want the job, all you have to do is sleep with me."_

" _What?" Alexander asked. He was certain he couldn't have heard that right._

" _Sleep with me and you'll get the job," his manager said._

" _You're joking, you have to be joking!" Alexander said. He felt his face heat right up. Why was this happening? How could this be happening?_

" _Look at my face," Mephistopheles Parsons said with slow, lazy smirk. "Do I look like I'm joking?"_

-"The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Chapter 3


	5. Chapter 5

Sam tried not to shift nervously as he walked into the café WASA (Washburn Artist Student Association) was meeting at for this particular month's meeting.

The Boca café was about a ten minute walk from campus if Sam was dragging his feet. He went there every few weeks when he had enough money. It was a nice treat place after class. But he'd never actually gone during lunch.

His heart nearly climbed into his throat and he saw Lucifer already sitting at the table. He had to force himself to take a deep breath and walk over. There was a seat next to him. In fact there were a lot of seats, as almost no one had come yet.

Lucifer had shed his coat and scarf, which hung over the back of the chair. He wore a grey button up and a military green tee shirt visible because of a few buttons being open. He had one small silver hoop in one ear, and black rimmed glasses on. He sat there, sipping something steaming hot from a mug and looking at the menu. He was every bit as gorgeous as Sam remembered.

 

 

"Um, excuse me," Sam said, forcing himself to speak loud enough to be heard. He walked over at touched one of the chairs next to Lucifer. "Is this seat taken?"

Lucifer looked up, whipping his head around with a start. He frowned at Sam for a minute like he was confused. Sam realized that Lucifer was thinking about what he said. Sam started to feel too hot. He fiddled with his scarf, pretending like that if his face was red it was from still being all bundled up.

"This table is reserved for students and faculty coming to the WASA meeting," Lucifer said.

A part of Sam wanted to back off and go "oh, so sorry" and then go hide in a corner. But Sam didn't do that. He swallowed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm here for the meeting."

"You are?" Lucifer asked, dropping his voice on the last word. He clearly didn't believe Sam. He looked at Sam over his glasses and Sam swallowed. "You've never been to any of these meetings before."

"Yeah, but um, I'm here now and I'm interested. I figured, I could try a meeting and see if this group was for me," Sam said. He pulled off his scarf with one hand and scratched his head with the other. This was so awkward. What kind of idiot did he have to be to just walk to up to Lucifer and ask to sit down? He did. He was that kind of idiot.

"You're no longer an art major, why would you come now?" Lucifer asked.

"How… how did you know that?" Sam asked, swallowing. Lucifer had turned his intense ice blue eyes on him and Sam didn't even feel like he could move.

"I work in the department. I processed the transfer," Lucifer said. "I've had your name on my list of tutees enough that I remembered you."

Well, that was certainly an answer to a question Sam didn't remember asking. But it probably would have been his next question, so he didn't worry about it too much.

"Um… wait, why are you working in the office if you're also an art tutor?" Sam asked. Lucifer leveled an ice cold stare at him until Sam felt barely an inch tall.

"The art department is small and not prestigious. Other major universities around the country are cutting down their arts funding. Emory in Atlanta recently announced that it was completely closing its art department. I'm fighting tooth and nail to keep this department open and functioning."

And that was how Sam realized that Lucifer was looking at him like he was the enemy. And really, that just made the whole situation a lot easier to deal with. It was like he was playing an doctor on the stands at his Freshman Mock Trial competition. Sam took a deep breath, calmed himself, and reached for the answer.

"I'm a terrible artist. You've had to put up with me enough to know that I am. I'm a lot better at writing which is why I switched. I did it so I could stop feeling like I was drowning. I wanted to be able to breath and I'm glad that I switched. But I didn't switch to hurt the program. I love art history. I love art. I've seen your work and it's really good. I've seen a lot of people's work at this school and there is talent even if the person doesn't choose to pursue art as a major."

That made Lucifer pause, but he still looked angry. "Why are you here?"

"I didn't come before because… well, because I sucked and I didn't feel like I really belonged. And now it's like I stopped feeling like an imposter. I'm not one of you, but I love beautiful art. I love learning about it. I love seeing it. I love watching it be made. I'm not an artist, but I love art. That's why I'm here," Sam said.

"I wouldn't say you're not an artist."

Sam and Lucifer both jumped and turn to look at Dr. Kathleen Robinson, the head of the art department. Lucifer stood up when he saw her. She always looked so polished. Everyone on campus knew about the shocking murder of her husband a few years back. She always wore black as a big part of her ensemble, but not in a way that looked gaudy. Her scarf and coat were black and when Lucifer walked around the table and helped her out of her coat her blouse was also black, though her skirt was blue. Her red hair was very properly set and her sharp green eyes fixed on Sam, dancing with amusement.

She had been one of Sam's professors for drawing, and he remembered her face drawn into pursed lips, unhappy with the result of his work. He never remembered her being very vocally critical of his work or giving him a bad grade, but she had been the one who suggested he be tutored by Lucifer. So seeing her nearly smiling now was a bit unnerving.

"Writers are artists, Mr. Winchester," Dr. Robinson said as she sank into the chair Lucifer pulled out for her. "Thank you, Lucifer, you should go sit."

Lucifer nodded and went and sat back in his chair, leaving only Sam standing. He shifted from one foot to the other in the beginnings if the elephant dance.

"You should also sit down, Mr. Winchester," Dr. Robinson said.

"Oh, yes," Sam said, lowering himself into the chair he'd wanted to take, the one next to Lucifer. He glanced at Lucifer and realized that Lucifer was giving him a sour look. Sam ducked his head a bit.

"As I was saying," Dr. Robinson continued. "You seem to have quite a way with words. And that's good. This world needs writers. It is a form of art, not one that is visual… not exactly. You stimulate people to make art in their own minds and you guide it by what you write. Reading is the melding of the innate imagination we are each gifted with the story another person wrote for us. It's much more participatory than a play, or a movie, or even a painting hanging in a gallery. In fact, short of a video game, no piece of art inherently asks for more participation from its audience than a book. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Um… I think I have an idea, but I'm not certain," Sam said, swallowing a bit. God, he wanted to be able to say things like that. He wanted to influence people to think like that. He wanted write speeches like that.

"What I mean is that you are terrible at drawing, but that doesn't mean you're a terrible artist. Your medium is words. WASA is primarily focused on trying to build the visual arts department, but that doesn't mean that we can't welcome people from other artistic disciplines. In fact we need them."

"Does that mean I can stay?" Sam asked quietly. He glanced at Lucifer, wondering if it was really okay that he'd be staying.

"It means, Mr. Winchester, that I am surprised that you decided to join us, but I am also very grateful. You are more than welcome," she said. "Lucifer?"

"Yes ma'am?" Lucifer asked, sitting up straighter.

"Just because he left, doesn't mean that he's our enemy in our uphill battle. In fact, having a student who left still showing an interest in our department is a very good thing."

"Yes, Ma'am," Lucifer said.

"Now," Dr. Robinson said, standing up. She made a hand motion so Lucifer paused when he'd been half way up. Sam watched Lucifer slowly lower himself back into his chair. "You see that? He takes care of me so well, you'd think I was an old woman who couldn't go pee on her own," she said and winked at Sam, making him blush a bit. She laughed and walked off, heading for the bathroom.

He glanced at Lucifer again, only to find Lucifer wasn't looking at him, he was looking down at his knees.

"I'm sorry if I upset you," Sam said. "I just-"

"It's fine," Lucifer said.

"But-"

"I said, it's fine," Lucifer said, turning and looking at Sam. Again, Sam felt pinned down by Lucifer's gave, but it wasn't an angry gaze, just assessing.

"You know," Sam said, swallowing a bit. He licked his lips, which felt way too dry. Then he pushed on. "When I was in high school I was on the Mock Trial team. It was tiny, like practically nonexistent. At minimum, a team is required to have 12 members to be able to compete. Every single day was a struggle to keep all 12 people together. They didn't want to study so much. They had other commitments. They didn't want to be working four hours a day every day for a month before the competition. One person just didn't even show up the second day of competition and we were disqualified from the second round when I was Sophomore."

"Does this have a point?" Lucifer asked, sounding exasperated.

"I know what it's like to love something and have no one else see it like you do. I've fought tooth and nail for that thing, trying to herd people together enough so that I and everyone else wouldn't lose something we cared about because one person didn't feel like being there. You want to keep your numbers up so your department will be safe, and I dropped out and that pisses you off. I'm sorry. I can't fix that, but I can help. I'll be here from now on."

Lucifer sneered. "You don't even know if you want to join or not."

"I do now," Sam said. He turned back to the table and started to unbutton his coat. People started to come in and fill in seats. The only person he recognized were the Masters sister. He didn't know any of the other people, but he was quickly introduced.

He knew a few of them from their art, which hung in around the Art Department. Jake Talley's art was all very military. Talley painted what he remembered from his time in the army. It reminded Sam of Vereshchagin, a man who's most famous painting was a mountain of skulls entitled "The Apotheosis of War", though he painted military scenes from battles he'd been at, and critiqued the government through his art. Sam told Talley this.

Of course, this brought up a debate about Orientalism (Vereshchagin also painted people and places in Central Asia and Asia) with Meg and words like "exoticism" got bandied around, and then they were debating images of Asians in modern American film.

Sam wasn't exactly certain how the conversation turned, but at some point Sam realized that he'd ordered and eaten lunch, and that the group members had decided go in two Saturdays to the Spencer Museum of Art in Lawrence, and that Sam didn't really feel as out of place as he believed he would. In fact he'd kept up with, added to, and even led a lot of the discussion (from his questions and the art history texts he kept checking out from the library) during lunch.

All he knew was that one minute he was talking to Dr. Robinson and the next he was pulling on his scarf and jacket to go brave the cold and get to his next class. He headed for the door. Almost everyone else had already started pouring out.

"Hey, Winchester," he heard Lucifer say. Sam turned around and stepped aside, holding the door open so Lucifer could get out. Sam thought he looked really snuggly in his knit pink scarf and brown coat.

"Yeah?" Sam asked.

"You know a little more than I gave you credit for knowing," Lucifer said.

Sam blinked, feeling a little stupid. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

Lucifer chuckled a little "In a back handed way, I suppose yes, it was."

Sam laughed a little in response. "Yeah, so, are you done being mad at me."

"I'm temporarily appeased, but if you cut out of the museum trip I'm going to be so, so pissed," Lucifer warned him.

"Nope, I'm going. I want to see their Asian Art exhibit," Sam said. He grinned. He felt buoyed by success. This had gone really, really well, he couldn't believe it. "You know, we should put signs up, about going to see the exhibit."

"Hmm, yeah, we should," Lucifer said. "And now I have class. See you," he said and jogged off back toward campus.

Sam smiled after him. He couldn't even believe his good luck.

* * *

Given the set up of their rooms it was conceivably possible to never deal with even half the roommates Sam had in his suite. Conceivable, but not practical. The four of them were in Matt and Sam's room. Samandriel had cuddled up to Matt, and Matt had his arm slung around his big brother. Alfie had spread out over Sam's bed, leaving Sam a corner to tuck into.

"So, how was this magic second date of yours?" Matt asked.

"Well," Alfie said. "We went back to the same place and ordered sandwiches this time."

"Oh boy, because every good date starts with sandwiches," Sam said, grinning. Alfie hit him with Sam's own pillow and Sam laughed.

"As I was saying," Alfie said, spreading out a little more so he could "accidentally" kick Sam in the side. "We had sandwiches and we talked."

"What'd you talk about?" Samandriel asked.

"The difference between teaching and being taught," Alfie said. "I told him I want to be a professor one day and he gave me some suggestions."

"So it was a professional lunch?" Matt asked, sounding a little hopeful.

Alfie gave a silly little smile. "Nah, we ended up making out against his car before he drove me back to campus."

"Ugh," Matt groaned.

"Like you don't make out with your girly all the time," Alfie said. "It's sickening."

"Nu-uh!" Matt said, sitting up straight, making Samandriel fall over onto the bed. Samandriel laughed into the bed sheets. "We are the hottest of hot when we make out."

Sam pressed his face into the pillow Alfie had hit him with to muffle his own laugh, not that it really did much, or that he or Samandriel were really trying to not laugh.

"You look like you're trying to devour her entire face," Alfie said.

"No we don't!" Matt shouted. "Sam, tell him we don't look like that when we kiss."

Sam made himself stop laughing and speak in a very somber voice. "Matt, I'm afraid you do. And this is an intervention." Sam burst into laughter again when one of Emerson's crochet pillows hit him in the face.

"Asshole!" Matt grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back against the wall.

"You're not getting this back," Sam said, putting the pillow before his back and leaning against it.

"Dick," Matt mumbled.

Samandriel patted his shoulder. "It's okay to be a total loser."

"I'm disowning all of you," Matt declared and then all of them laughed.

They laughed for a bit and then settled down into an easy, and short, but companionable silence.

"So," Samandriel said. "It was a good date?"

"It was great date," Alfie said. "We're going to go out again Friday, this time just for pizza, but still." There weren't a lot of really romantic restaurants in the area, and pizza seemed pretty casual.

"When are you getting to the part where Dr. Haggerty takes you home and makes sweet, sweet love to you?" Sam asked.

"Not any time soon," Alfie grumped with a heavy sigh. "He wants me to feel safe with him, so for a while we'll still have dates in very public places not too far away from campus so I can escape quickly if I need to. I'm just hoping we get to the sex part before I have to go back to Junction City for the summer."

"Oh, boo hoo," Samandriel muttered.

"Well, you're in a mood. Problems with your old man?" Alfie asked, sounding annoyed.

"It's nothing," Samandriel muttered a little louder. "And he is not old."

"Yeah, yeah," Alfie muttered. "You're lucky I let you go out with this guy."

"You're lucky I don't super glue you head to your pillow when you talk like that, like you're one of our parents or something," Samandriel said, giving Alfie a sharp glared. Alfie was the baby of the three of them, Matt the middle and Samandriel the oldest. Sam thought they didn't act like that too much, except that Samandriel was generally the most responsible.

"Just cause you've had a fight with your boo doesn't mean you have to be a grouch," Alfie said.

"Alfie, fuck off would you?" Samandriel said in a far too polite voice.

"What happened?" Matt asked.

"Kali called Gabriel and told him that she wanted him," Alfie said quickly.

"Alfie, shut up!" Samandriel snapped.

"Shit," Sam breathed. Everyone at USD 237 knew what a horrible crush Gabriel had on Kali, even when she moved back to Lawrence he'd still been over the moon for her. Her calling now was bad timing.

"Gabriel posted a picture of us on his Facebook," Samandriel said with a tired sigh, "and he said that he didn't want her but… well, you know."

"He's totally lying, he still wants her," Alfie said.

"I would rather he tell me that he does want her and not pretend. He's going to Lawrence next weekend and I just… I just have a bad feeling."

"Dean's at KSU, I can call him and ask him to keep an eye on Gabriel for you, if you want," Sam offered.

"No," Samandriel said with a big sigh. "It's his decision, you know. I don't want to be the kind of paranoid boyfriend who goes and spies on his boyfriend."

"Are you really his boyfriend?" Matt asked.

"You know… I don't really know. He's been really unclear," Samandriel said with a heavy sigh. "I don't know. But I know I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay, new topic, then," Matt said.

"I had a really good WASA meeting," Sam said. "Lucifer even talked to me for a minute after it was over."

"Sam, please do not tell us that you're going to go on thinking you're going to get this guy," Alfie said, sounding both annoyed and tired.

"No, no. I'm still going through with my plan, meeting my word goal and all that shit. But it's just like… I don't know, maybe even if I give up on us dating, we could be friendly at least?"

"That sounds like a recipe for disaster to me," Samandriel said.

"Me too," Sam admitted, "but I'd like to try anyway. I mean… At least, for WASA anyway, I get where he's coming from. I doubt I'll ever see him again after school and it's just… I don't know, maybe at least being able to talk to him like a normal human being and not like he was some far off deity will help me get over him."

"Well, it's possible. But I still think it's kinda going against this whole trying to get over him thing," Matt pointed out.

"And I get that. But I feel… it's not like I think we'll suddenly start making out in the Spencer museum. But I can see us going and talking about a piece of art and just kind of having an easy Saturday. Honestly, I think I'll probably hang out with Meg or Ruby more, or even Dr. Robinson."

"Well," Samandriel said slowly and cautiously. "That is at least a bit of progress." They knew that Sam's fantasies about Lucifer often included them making out on the beach. So Sam thought just thinking about talking about only one painting for a few minutes was a big step forward to not being so obsessed with Lucifer anymore.

"I'm trying anyway," Sam pointed out.

"Are you really keeping up with your word goal?" Matt asked with a smirk.

"Fuck you," Sam said cheerfully. He did not feel like being heckled about his writing at that moment.

* * *

_King Mephistopheles had never seen such a delicious sacrifice. The people of the small principality and been more than happy to sacrifice their prince for the promise than the Demon King would allow them a certain amount of autonomy . Prince Alexander struggled against the bonds of the altar he'd been tied to and left on. He was bare, and the ropes tied expertly so to not impede the Demon King's view, but also to keep the Prince from escaping. He was gagged, blindfolded, and had cloth stuffed into his ears so he couldn't hear._

_The people expected their Prince to be killed and eaten at a Demon Feast. But they didn't really know Demons, and they didn't really know him._

_The altar they'd laid the prince on had once been a church, but it had been burn out. There was little roof and the light snow of that evening fell around the martyred prince, who shivered in his bonds. He had not been left long, but even the King felt the cold of the night, for all that he was wrapped in thick clothes._

_The king reached out and ran only his finger tips against the cool skin of the prince on the altar. The Prince's stomach clenched up, and shivers ran through his body. The king could feel the fear the man put off. He'd never have been in a more vulnerable state in his life._

_King Mephistopheles shifted his nails so they were long and sharp. He slashes, cutting the rope, expensive, strong rope, like it was a knife through warm butter. The Prince was so tense even when his binding fell away._

_The King sat on the altar and began to first unbind the Prince's ears so that he could hear._

" _Can you hear me?" The King asked. The Prince nodded. "Good. I am your King."_

_He cut away the blindfold. The Prince blinked and shivered. The King smirked. He was in his merged form. Fangs came out from his under bite, sharp enough that he had scabs and scars on his face where they rubbed him raw. His ears had grown out to a sharp point and two large black horns twisted from his head. His hair was pulled back in a horse tail, and otherwise he was dressed richly, but in this form people found him unnerving at best._

_The King pulled the gag from the prince's mouth and tossed it aside. He looked on in amusement as the Prince worked his jaw and touched his face._

" _Are you going to eat me?" The Prince asked. He gave the King such a defiant look that the King laughed._

" _No. I do not eat my servants." The King said. He pulled off his cloak, thick, soft animal pelts and wrapped them around the Prince. "And I do not treat them as badly as your people treat their Prince."_

" _In exchange for their freedom, I am a fitting sacrifice," The Prince said, but he still hugged the warm to him. It was too cold to be so exposed for so long. "Will you hurt me?"_

" _No. That is not what I wanted you for."_

" _What could you want me for then?" The Prince asked. His brows furrowed in confusion._

_The King almost reached out and tenderly stroked the Prince's brow, but he did not. The Prince would not welcome such a gesture from the King._

" _Your loyalty. I value you that, Prince Alexander. Serve me, and you will want for nothing," he offered._

" _I have little choice," the Prince spat, looking spiteful. Then he looked away and hugged the pelt cloak to him a little to him. The King frowned, understanding that the Prince expected them to be taken from him._

" _Of course," The King said, standing up. He helped the Prince off the altar. The Prince's legs were stiff for how they'd been bound. The King held the Prince up while he gained his footing. In fact he kept the Prince pressed against him as they walked to the King's sleigh._

_The sleigh was polished wood that reflected the moon back up at itself. It was connected to four ravenstags, black as night. Their fur and feathers merged seamlessly, perfect for the demon king. They were a sign of bad luck to the village people, but for the Demons, they were great luck. And they served only whom they found worthy. Their large ebony horns and strong, fast legs made the great hunters. And only the Demon King could have such magnificent beasts serve him in such a way._

_The Prince shivered against the King, and the King realized it was from seeing his sleigh. He scooped up the Prince and settled him into the sleigh. The King climbed in next to him. The ravenstags took off on their own. They knew where to take him._

_The Prince shivered more from cold, so the Demon King wrapped his arms around the Prince and held him close, offering warmth for the journey. The King thought to himself about all the warm, beautiful clothes he would wrap his Prince in once they got home, and he cursed his own foolishness for not having brought clothes with him. He knew how sacrifices were often presented, but he had not counted on the people of the principality to humiliate their prince so._

_If he had not sworn, if he did not know that the Prince would be horrified, King Mephistopheles would have rained fire down on the people of the principality for what they had done. But while the King did allow himself to imagine it, he knew he would not cause that destruction. He would keep to his agreement to the letter. His Prince would accept nothing less._

Chapter 1 of "The Demon King's Bride" by Samallamin, December 2011.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam was happy to be on the stands. He was being crossed by one of the other lawyers. Of course being crossed by a back up lawyer wasn't as good practice as a scrimmage, against a lawyer who hadn't watched you a million times, but the backup lawyers asked questions the lawyers who would actually be competing wouldn't ever think to ask. Plus, it gave the backup lawyers practice so they'd be able to actually do things when they would be selected to compete in the next year or two.

Sam liked the practice anyway. He sat at the front and fought back against the backup lawyer. He was doing pretty well too until he looked up at saw that Lucifer was sitting in the back of the room. Sam rubbed his eyes and blinked, but Lucifer didn't disappear. In fact Lucifer leaned over and whispered something to Brady.

He suddenly realized that it was very quiet in the courtroom. "Um, I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

"Do you better things to be thinking of, Mr. Farmer?" the lawyer asked. "Maybe feeding chickens?"

Sam felt anger shoot right through him. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize not being able to understand you because you mumbled was a crime. I mean, since being a dick is clearly a prerequisite for being a lawyer, you'd think they'd teach you to talk better, just so every person in the room can fully hear and understand what kind of ass you are."

"Winchester, that's enough," the teacher said.

Sam felt his face heat up. He finished the rest of cross and then went to the lawyer, giving her a hug and apologizing. He went to go back to his seat. As he went he glanced over and saw Lucifer was still there, watching him closely.

It was just about the worst and best thing ever. Every time Sam would glance over his shoulder for the rest of the session he'd see that Lucifer was still staring at him. Lucifer had never come to one of these things before, so Sam wondered if maybe, just maybe Lucifer had come to see him?

When practice was over Sam slowly gathered his things. If Lucifer was still there when a few people cleared out, Sam planned to go talk to him. He didn't get to go through with his plan, though, because Lucifer came over to Sam.

"You speak very well," Lucifer said.

"Uh… yeah, it'll be a requirement if I ever have to speak in court," Sam said.

"How could you're a witness and not a lawyer?" Lucifer asked, cocking his head to one side.

"Mock Trial is set up so the older students get to be lawyers, and that's fine with me. It means I get a few years of practice before I have to be a lawyer in front of people, and sometimes it's fun being a witness," Sam said, smiling a little bit.

"Hmmm." Lucifer made a thoughtful sound. "Well, you play a farmer well."

"Thanks, it's only cause I was raised with them. You wouldn't believe what some people think farmers are like," Sam said, rolling his eyes.

Lucifer laughed, "I can imagine. Listen, I actually came because I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Seriously?" Sam asked. He couldn't imagine what Lucifer needed him for.

"What, do you not want to talk to me?" Lucifer asked, pulling on a pout.

"No, no," Sam said. "I just… what is it?"

"I think we should put up flyers about the trip in two weeks," Lucifer said. "But I'd like some help making posters."

"Uh…. Shouldn't you pick someone with actual artistic talent for that?"

"Yeah, see I thought about it," Lucifer said with a little smile. "And I decided you were the best person for the job."

"Uh… really?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, see, if we print it out in black and white it'll cost less, so we need to have black and white images and I thought, what if we do something with different reviews for the pieces we're going to see?"

"Like… some kind of layered thing with the reviews? Like using words as the design, like you might do on clothes?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, exactly," Lucifer said. "But I want reviews that are good, and this really needs to be done fast, because it's already Thursday evening."

"So what can I do?" Sam asked.

"You know a lot more about Art History than I do. You've probably read some reviews for the exhibits already, right?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah, actually," Sam said, starting to figure out where this was going.

"You think you can collect some and send them to me? If I can get the design done by tomorrow and I have a friend who can approve it and then we can put them up on Saturday and people will have a week to sign up and think about it."

Sam thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, I think I can do that. I can think of three right off the bat and where to find them. How many do you need?"

"A good sample size," Lucifer said. "At least 12 or more, okay?"

"Yeah, I can do that!" Sam said. He knew what books to search through; he even had a few in his room. He could do scans in the afternoon between classes and he could search for some online reviews that evening.

"Thank you!" Lucifer said with a huge sigh of relief. All the tension seemed to flow out of his body for a moment and Sam had a second when he wondered if maybe Lucifer would start to collapse and he'd have to reach out and hold him up.

Of course Lucifer straightened right back up, completely dashing Sam's fantasy.

"You're welcome," Sam said, waving his hand in as "it's cool" motion. "Anyway, I better get home and start looking, right."

"Yeah," Lucifer said and paused for a moment. Sam hesitated, wondering if maybe Lucifer wasn't pausing and didn't have anything to add. Sam started to turn away. "Can I walk you to your dorm?"

"Ah, sure," Sam said, blushing a little. "Um, I mean, I live in the crappy dorms."

"Oh yeah, I lived there last year," Lucifer said, hefting his bag onto his shoulders. "Why are you still there?"

"Winchester and Pike are pretty far down in the alphabet," Sam said.

"Ah," Lucifer said as they walked out.

They walked in silence for a short moment while Sam searched in his head for a topic they could discuss. The first thing he actually hit on was actually a pretty shitty topic.

"Are you close with Gabriel?" Sam wanted to smack himself for actually asking that.

"I think so, yes," Lucifer said, sounding a bit cautious. Sam didn't blame him. If someone asked him a question like that about Dean he'd be nervous too.

"You know Kali contacted him, right?"

"Yeah, I heard," Lucifer said, rolling his eyes. "Why?"

"He's dating Samandriel Pike, and Sammy is one of my friends. He's trying to not panic or anything, but he's basically waiting to have his heart broken. I'm not really close to Gabriel but I'm not sure he realizes how important this is to Samandriel. So could you… could you find a way to mention it to him?"

"Yeah… that sounds like something Gabriel might do," Lucifer said, shaking his head a bit. "I'll talk to him for you, okay?"

"Thank you!" Sam said with a bit of relief.

"No problem," Lucifer said.

They walked in silence to the dorms, where Lucifer left Sam and headed on to his own apartment. Sam felt pretty good as he bounded up the stairs to go find reviews.

* * *

Samandriel tried to not feel like a nervous wreck. Gabriel hadn't actually done anything. _Not yet anyway_ , a nasty little voice in his head whispered. But Samandriel remembered Kali. In no universe should a girl that bright, and well traveled and knowing have ended up at USD 237. Most of the school was certain it was her father's form of punishment for something she'd done. Although the official story was that he was coming to help the Milton's farming commune to be more profitable.

Kali had been hard and sharp and even vicious when the moment called for it. Samandriel guessed a lot of that had to do with how often she moved around and how ignorant white people in Podunk, Nowhere could be. He thought that even more when he had been moved to Junction City and suddenly thrown into a place where all the cliques had been formed in Elementary school and he and his brothers, like other students who'd been moved in, simply did not belong.

But Kali had physically stood out, which must have just made the whole thing worse. She dealt with ignorance with cool looks, staring down the guffawing individual until they felt so damn stupid that they would often back away slowly and apologize.

And Samandriel had admired that. He knew he'd never be that kind of person, but he respected the hell out of her for how she held herself. She demanded their respect and Samandriel gave it gladly.

And Gabriel had been so painfully in love with her in high school. Gabriel was normally, well, a lot like Alfie. He flirted and flitted from person to person, guy or girl, whatever he felt like at the moment. He was a Milton so that was somehow acceptable, or at least tolerated. Alfie got hell for liking the same thing. And Samandriel had very purposefully not dated so people wouldn't know he was gay, at least not until he was in college.

Gabriel hadn't even seemed like an option in high school, because he went out with girls like Kali, or guys like Dean Winchester, the untouchables. Even if Kali had dumped Gabriel is a very public and humiliating way, even if Gabriel had followed after her like a lost puppy until she moved away…

Gabriel was way, way out of his league.

And all Kali had to do was snap her fingers and Gabriel came running.

Samandriel didn't know why he was surprised by the hurt. Gabriel had barely started dating him, and Gabriel was the kind of person who had more than one date in an evening. Samandriel knew that going in. He just wasn't smart enough to really understand what that meant, apparently.

"You know, it's a little late to be sitting around outside?"

Samandriel jumped and turned, looking at the woman who had walked over to him without him noticing. It was dark out and Samandriel was sitting on a bench that wasn't even under a street lamp. He really should have been more aware than that. That was how people got mugged or raped.

He blinked for a moment, trying to focus on her. He scrubbed his hands over his eyes and then jumped again.

Samandriel considered himself gay, but had a fairly good grasp on the idea that sexuality could be pretty damn fluid. It still didn't make it less shocking to realize that, much the same way Samandriel had thought Gabriel was the most gorgeous boy he'd ever seen up close the first time he saw him, this woman was probably the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in his life.

He didn't recognize her. She looked like she was too old to be an undergrad, maybe a grad student. He couldn't get a really good look because of the dark, but he could tell she wasn't white, and that while she was probably black, she wasn't very dark skinned. Her hair was thick and a part of him really wanted to see what it felt like, but even asking that was very creepy. She smiled at him because he was apparently taking a really long time to answer and he could see that her teeth were very white.

"Uh, yeah, I guess it is," Samandriel said, feeling like he sounded like a moron.

"So, what's got a cute boy like you doing looking so glum?" the woman asked, smiling a little. Samandriel wouldn't call it a hungry or predatory look, but it wasn't innocent either. He blushed a bit, glad the darkness would probably hide it. She found him attractive. If he played his cards right she might even pick him up. That was an exhilarating feeling.

"I am 20, I'm not a boy," he said. She laughed and he shivered. She had a wonderful laugh.

"You sure you're 20? You don't sound so convinced."

He felt himself getting even redder. "I'm nearly 20," he muttered.

"Well, okay, as long as you're sure." She was still smiling. Samandriel was suddenly presented with her hand which he shook. "Cassie Robinson."

"Samandriel Pike," he said, moving over so she could sit down, which she did, putting down her bags. "Like Dr. Robinson?"

"My mother," she said.

"Oh," he said. "I'm sorry… not about her being your mother!" He said hurriedly. Everyone knew about the murder of Dr. Robinson's husband, especially because the killers had never been caught, officially anyway. It had only been about two years now.

Cassie laughed a little. "No I get it. It's okay," she said, but her mood dropped.

"No, it's not. That's really not the type of thing you probably enjoy having brought up, is it?"

"I'm just happy when people remember, honestly. It's better than feeling like me and mom are the only ones who remember." Yeah, he'd killed the mood. He reached out and took her hand. She squeezed it tight.

"I heard he was a really great journalist," Samandriel said.

"Yeah! He was fantastic!" Cassie said with big grin. "He came up during the civil rights movement, of course, I mean, his writing started then. He'd cover anything and everything and that got him a lot of hell. And even when that settled down he kept looking for stuff that needed to be talked about."

"There was a lot to be proud about. I read a few of his pieces, that last year. I started reading the paper when it moved to being online," Samandriel explained.

"Yeah, talking about large farming corporations isn't easy," Cassia said with a heavy sigh. "Sometimes I feel like he died because the Agi Corps put a price on his head. It would be a damn sight easier to except than the truth."

"Dumb ass white guys," Samandriel said.

"Scared dumb ass white men," Cassie corrected. Then she got quiet. "People are so afraid all the time, but no one wants to hear about the things they're afraid about."

The words hung there and silence followed. Samandriel wanted to address them, but he didn't know how or where to begin. His sexuality aside, he was playing life on the lowest difficulty setting. His parents were still together and their family wasn't dirt poor and never had been. They weren't even tied to agriculture like a lot of his friend's families were. Their dad had taken a hit in the housing bust, but it was coming back and they'd done okay in Junction City.

"What do you do?" he asked, deciding that he really didn't have anything to say about the other topic and if he kept trying to find something to say they'd never speak again.

She chuckled a little. "I'm a little journalist like my dad."

"Ew, that's gotta be rough," Samandriel said, wincing.

"You have no idea. I'm actually moving back in with my mom. I got downsized."

"Shit, I'm sorry," he said. "Was it 'cause you were new?"

"And black and a woman. It was a really white paper, and I was hired for diversity, but I was also the first one out the door. It didn't help that I wanted to do investigative journalism like my dad."

"And they didn't like that?" Samandriel guessed.

"They wanted me to cover the happy pieces, or like cosmetics or something. Which all of those are fine occasionally and even fun, but it wasn't the work I wanted to do, you know?" Cassie said with a shrug.

"So, do you have prospects here?" Samandriel asked.

"The library wants someone to come work archives for a few months. It'll keep me from feeling like a total bum while I look for work," she explained. "What about you, what do you do?"

"I study art," Samandriel said. He realized that he was still holding her hand. He didn't pull away, though. She hadn't pulled away or made any indication of not being comfortable. In fact she'd just squeezed his hand. She clearly hadn't forgotten she was touching him.

"So you work with my mother," Cassie said.

"She's very good. She lets me try a few less conventional attempts."

"Like what?"

"Well, I really like the more old world styles, portraits and stuff, before the impressionists came in. I feel like there's a lot of emotion that came through with those styles, but I also like the idea that art can come out of the two dimensional." Now he was starting to get excited. His brothers had heard this all way too much to be impressed.

"Like how?" She asked, leaning in a bit.

"Well, like I'm working on this piece which is an oil painting of a candle, and some smoke is coming off it, so part of the frame is smoked and a bit charred, you see?" he asked.

"That sounds… simple but interesting," she said.

"Yeah, so I want to try a few more ambitious things, but I need to get this one done first. But Dr. Robinson is being very encouraging about it all."

"Yeah, mother loves it when artists try to discover their own style," Cassie said with a soft smile. She squeezed his hand again and he squeezed back.

"Yeah, she's been really great," Samandriel said. "So… ummm…"

"Yeah, it's getting late," she said, finally letting go of his hand.

"Would you like to have lunch some time?" Samandriel asked.

"Yeah, you know, I think I'd like that."

She kept smiling while their traded phone numbers and emails. He liked her smile. He watched her heft her bag onto her shoulder and walk away. He liked the way she walked too. He'd never considered the possibility that maybe he could be attracted to women, but this one hit him as hard as his attraction to Gabriel had hit him. Maybe it wasn't as much that he was attracted to a gender, but that he was attracted to specific people?

He'd heard odder things in his life. And maybe it would be fine. Gabriel was going to go off with Kali and be happy. So what if Samandriel looked for someone else too? Besides, how often did someone so beautiful actually like plain old him? He wasn't going to feel bad about just having a conversation, and maybe some lunch later. There was nothing wrong about it.

* * *

" _Alright," Alexander said._

" _Alright, what?" Mephis asked. It still annoyed Alexander that Mephis made him call him that, like he was some disobedient brat who couldn't say Mr. Parsons because it was too many syllables._

" _Alright, I'll sleep with you," Alexander said. He hated himself for saying it. He hated himself more for how hot his own face felt when Mephis's mouth quirked up into a happy smile. Shit, he wasn't just a whore, he was a whore who liked getting fucked over._

" _That's fantastic," Mephis said. "But you're not going to be a one night stand, you'll be my lover."_

" _Wait, what?" Alex hadn't signed up for that._

" _Do you want the job?" Mephis asked._

" _Yes! But I'm not gonna prostitute myself over and over for a position!" Alexander hissed._

" _Oh, but once is just fine?" Mephis asked. He looked disappointed in Alexander and Alexander hated that look most of all. "I've already told you that if you do this the job is yours. Of course, you can take your chances otherwise. I'll judge you against everyone else."_

_Alexander winced. Like Debora and Barack weren't the ones in the running for those jobs. They could be hired anywhere and these were their first internships. This was his third and he was drowning in debt. If he couldn't make this work…? He swallowed and nodded._

" _I'll do it," Alexander said, pulling on his most determined place._

_Mephis smiled slowly and Alexander felt like he might actually be working for the devil. "Excellent. Let's begin now."_

-"The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Chapter 7


	7. Chapter 7

Sam spent lunch on Friday throwing a sandwich down his throat while he photocopied, printed, and emailed a number of articles from different books. He was looking for interested reviews, but he also found himself looking at reviews that were okay, but had different and interesting typefaces and fonts. Lucifer had asked for 12, and Sam had gathered 27.

He printed out two copies of each article and compiled a list of cited links which he emailed to Lucifer during one of his classes where he could have a computer. He also asked to meet Lucifer, because he'd printed out the articles to save time. Before his last class was over, he got a response where Lucifer asked him to come to the art studio.

Sam nearly ran there. He already had like a brick of paper he was carrying around, with citations on the back of both copies so they'd be easy to find later. He didn't know exactly what all Lucifer needed, but he wanted to make it as easy as possible for him.

Lucifer was sitting in the art studio sketching something. He stopped and shut his notebook the second Sam came in. Sam was curious but he also didn't ask. He'd been in art long enough to know how personal sketch books could be. Asking to see one could sometimes be like asking to see someone's diary.

"Here," Sam said, panting a bit. He put his book bag down and unzipped it. From it he pulled the stack of papers he'd printed off. Lucifer's eyes got a little wide.

"Uh, that's a lot of paper," Lucifer said slowly.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you wanted to do it digitally or by hand, so figured I'd go ahead and get set up for both. My part was the easy part, after all," Sam pointed out, setting the papers down on the table.

"That was… kind of you. Why are there so many paper clips?" Lucifer asked, standing up and walking over to examine Sam's hard work.

"Ah, yeah I printed out two copies of each and a lot of them went over two or more pages, and so I paper clipped each whole article together and then I paper clipped the pairs together… because I thought stapling might be a bad idea."

"Well, I think you may have cut down a whole forest to achieve this… but thank you, Sam," Lucifer said, smiling a little.

Sam felt both cut down and lifted up at the same time. Yeah, he'd done way too much work and it was truly embarrassing how eager Sam was to please. But Lucifer had also thanked him, and that was just fantastic!

"So, uh, did you get my email earlier?" Sam asked.

"I did," Lucifer said. "I was going to do this digitally."

"And now?" Sam asked.

"There's rubber cement and scissors in that drawer over there, want to help me make a poster?" Lucifer asked with a mischievous grin.

"You're damn right I do!" Sam said. He quickly walked and got out two pairs of scissors and the rubber cement. When he came back to the table Lucifer had pulled out a piece of purple poster paper.

"Got everything?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah, we're not gonna hand make like a hundred posters are we?" Sam asked, eyeing the pretty big piece of paper.

"Oh, no," Lucifer said. "But when we do black and white photocopy this'll back a really nice looking border. Um, so can you start finding sets that have article in different pieces and cut those articles out?"

"Sure," Sam said. He already knew where most of those were anyway. He sat down and pulled the paper brick over and started to dig through it.

For a few minutes it was pretty quiet. There was the sound of paper being cut and a familiar sound that Sam later identified as key strokes. He looked over and realized that Lucifer was on his Mac. Sam would have felt annoyed, except that he knew that Lucifer wasn't going to _let_ Sam arrange and paste everything himself.

"Ah, what are you doing?"

"I need you so go print something for me," Lucifer said. "Well, more like I just need you to go get it. I have all the stuff typed out that was going to be on the poster, but I just had to format it and then send it to the upstairs printer."

"They let you print stuff here?" Sam asked incredulously. He'd spent a lot of money on printing all of those articles out because he knew that his only option was paying the printing center in the library. And Lucifer could just print stuff out from the Art Department printer?

"Well, only stuff that relates to my job, so technically I shouldn't be doing this," Lucifer said. He pulled his key ring off his belt and handed it to Sam with one hand, shutting his laptop with the other.

"So I just go get it?" Sam asked, taking the keys

"Yeah, I printed out three copies. Just go get them and bring them down here. No one else should be around right now, so don't worry," Lucifer said. He got up and put his laptop away, then stretched and headed over to the reviews.

"Okay, be right back," Sam said. He headed up the back stairs all the way up to the art department's copy room. It was locked when he got up there and so he had to unlock the door. But once he did he found that the machine had three sheets of paper that proudly declared a WASA trip to the Stephen Art Museum in Lawrence and that anyone was welcoming, and the reduced rate it would be due to it being a club activity.

He also saw that the poster was two dollars more than what they'd discussed at the meeting. But hey, if WASA was going to provide transportation, it was probably for gas money or something.

Sam picked up the papers; made certain he had Lucifer's keys and walked out of the room and back down to the art studio. He couldn't have been gone even five minutes, but by the time he returned the purple poster paper and been cut into three properly sized posters and Lucifer and already cut out a ton of articles.

"How long was I gone?" Sam asked.

"Ah! Good, you're back," Lucifer said, "Papers!" he demanded. Sam handed them over and Lucifer took them over the paper cutter, quickly cutting them into equally sized signs that could go in the middle of the posters.

"I'm putting your keys on your bag," Sam said.

"Good, Good," Lucifer said, beginning to rush around. "Come cut things."

"Yes, sir," Sam said with a salute. Not that it mattered because Lucifer was busily focused on cutting paper and didn't even see what Sam did. Sam sat down at the table and proceeded to cut, so much slower than Lucifer, but still.

It was a joy and an awe to see Lucifer work. He was so focused that he barely seemed to know Sam was there. Well, he knew Sam was there, but it was like he forgot that Sam wasn't just and extension of the scissors that he could ask for things. And Sam didn't mind. Lucifer worked with amazing speed.

In the end, he'd created three posters, each with a similar composition, but the collages Lucifer created were different and with different articles.

"So, we're hoping people will see that they're different and look for a second time?" Sam asked.

"That's the hope anyway," Lucifer said once the posters were sitting done and drying.

"So," Sam asked, starting to clean up the paper scraps. "The poster says there's a reduced price?"

"Yeah," Lucifer asked, starting to make origami out of an article they hadn't used.

"But it seems like the poster listed it as a little more than what we discussed at the meeting," Sam said. He figured they could actually fix it now if they had to, but he wished he'd asked before they'd pasted everything down.

"Yeah, I know," Lucifer said. "I did it on purpose."

"You did?" Sam asked. "Is it for like gas or something?"

"There's a 15 dollar club due for members," Lucifer said. "Which you now owe by the way. Anyway, if we can get seven people to come, then that's like having raised the dues for an extra member. And it will mean that we can have a little more for when we do events later on in the semester."

"Ah," Sam said. "That's pretty smart, actually."

"Yes it is," Lucifer said a little smugly. "WASA doesn't have a lot of money, Sam, so I pinch pennies where I can and try to get a little extra here and there. I can't just pay for everything."

"But I take it you pay for a lot?" Sam asked.

Lucifer gave him an annoyed look. Then he sighed heavily and slumped in his chair. "If the club can't find other ways to get people to pay, then once I leave the club might fold."

"But you know, being sneaky about raising money isn't really gonna help," Sam pointed out.

Lucifer laughed weakly. "Well, you do have me there," he muttered. "Anyway, once these are dry I'll photo copy them and then get the Student Government's approval to post them."

"Do you want me to come help you put them up tomorrow?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, and get Samandriel out there too. He wasn't at the last meeting and he should have been."

"I'm pretty certain he and Gabriel had a lunch date," Sam said.

"No excuse, this only comes once a month," Lucifer said. Sam smiled a little.

"Okay, fine, good deal. So, see you tomorrow then?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, you're free to go," Lucifer said, waving Sam away.

"Okay then," Sam said, dumping the left over paper into the trash. "Goodnight then."

"Nigh night," Lucifer said, not looking up from his origami project. Sam took one more minute to stare and then he left.

* * *

Alfie wouldn't really call Friday evening at Subway romantic, not normally in any case. But James had taken him there and so he was over the moon happy about it. Plus, splitting a five dollar foot long meant that they both had a sizable meal without having to worry about who was going to pay.

"So," Alfie said, looking at James through his lashes. James's cheek went a bit pink and Alfie smirked. He liked making James feel shy. It was a nice turn around because James made him feel really damn shy all the time. For one thing, the fact that Alfie was allowed to call Dr. Haggerty James made Alfie seven different types of flustered.

"So?" James asked.

"So," Alfie said again. James gave him a smile that was just so soft and so warm and so fond. Alfie had no clue how that man had remained single for so long.

"So, you really don't have anything to say, but you just wanted to say something?" James asked, humor in his voice.

"So maybe I have something to say, but you're making me forget what it is," Alfie grumbled. James actually laughed.

"My dear boy, I'm hardly the type of person you forget things over," James said. It was a chastisement, a really gentle one, but it was a chastisement. Alfie hated when James did that, put himself down and did it in a way to try and gently let Alfie down about it.

Alfie scowled. "You are to me."

"Oh," James said, looking a little abashed. He cleared his throat and took a sip of his soda. "Well, then."

"Yes, well then," Alfie agreed.

"So, what was it you wanted to say?" James asked.

"I was just… wondering when or I I'd ever get invited over to your place," Alfie said.

"Well," James said, turning thoughtful. "I definitely will at some point. But for the moment we've only gone out a handful of times. That's a big step and I don't want to rush you or make you feel uncomfortable."

Laughter spilled out of Alfie's mouth. He couldn't stop it and when he saw James's indignant face he just laughed harder, suddenly not wanting to stop. James made the most adorable facial expressions.

"Why, why are you laughing," James demanded, his cheeks getting a bit red.

Alfie got himself under control then. He didn't want to make James angry. He still felt like James was going to just pick up and leave if he wasn't on his best behavior.

"It's just," Alfie started, still smiling. "It's just freaking adorable that you're afraid of rushing me. My first dates normally end by me going down on someone, or at least us making out in the bathroom. I never get past the second date without getting into my date's pants or under their skirts. We've been on six dates now. You don't scare me. If I seem uncomfortable it's because I'm nervous, because I'm desperate to impress you. "

James got pretty red and looked down at his half of the sandwich. Alfie took a quick, large gulp of his coke. He realized it was probably not the best idea to remind the older man that he was dating that Alfie was actually a Grade-A Slut and had been since high school. Normally it was a badge he wore proudly, but he'd never had anyone he really wanted this badly before. What if James was old fashioned enough to be turned off by his record?

"Sorry," Alfie murmured, looking down at his cup.

"My dear boy, whatever for?" James asked in such a gentle voice that Alfie had to look up. James's face was still red, but he didn't look angry or anything.

"For well… being… like I am, sleeping around and stuff," Alfie muttered.

"Tell me, Alfie," James started. "Do you plan on sleeping with other people while you're with me?"

"No," Alfie said quickly. Of course he wouldn't. He could do that, but he wasn't going to, not when he'd been wanting this man for so much of his life.

"And have you been tested recently for any disease or infections?" James asked.

"Regularly," Alfie said. Because while he considered himself a slutty slut slut, he didn't want to be a syphilitic one.

"Then I don't care. As long as you won't cheat on me and you're taking care of yourself, I don't care." James even reached across the table and held his hand.

"I just… then why were you so silent?" Alfie felt his own face getting warm and he knew James's blush hadn't settled.

"To be honest," the man said, looking away. "I was thinking about being with you… like that, like you've been with other people." He shifted a bit and put a hand in his lap. Alfie grinned.

"You need me to help you out there?" Yes, it was very much the best thing ever to realize you've turned on the man of your dreams.

"No," James said quickly and then cleared his throat and spoke more slowly. "No… I was also thinking, and I decided something."

"Which is?" Alfie asked, leaning in and resting his elbows on the table so he could just be closer to James.

"Well, I decided that while you might be ready for that kind of relationship… I simply am not. Not yet. I'm afraid I make very bad romantic choices. At least I have in the past. And this is… complicated on a good day." He waved at the air between them and Alfie nodded. Yeah, there was a thirty year age gap if you rounded down. It was a big difference between them.

"Are you worried I might run off?" Alfie asked.

"A little, but that's not really what I'm worried about," James said.

"Then what is it?"

James took a deep breath and let it out. "Well, I'm worried that I'll rush into everything and that it will fall apart and I'll be left picking up the pieces of me, again."

"Ah," Alfie said, sitting back a bit. He rubbed the back of his head, looking and feeling a bit sheepish. Normally when Alfie hit up an older man or woman they either would only be worried about their own pleasure, or they'd be worried about hurting Alfie. He'd never met someone so much older than he was who was afraid that he'd hurt them.

"So, you understand?"

"Yeah, I get it," Alfie said. "I mean, I've got a reputation for being a flighty as a butterfly to begin with and I'm younger and you're worried I'll find someone new and run off."

"Not just that," James said with a wince. "But… other things like that. It just ends with us being apart and I'm alone again."

"Then I'll wait," Alfie told him. He reached out this time and took James's hand. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I've been wanting you for a long time. I'm generally impatient, but this is important, so I'll wait."

"Oh," James said. He seemed surprised, but he still smiled. He squeezed Alfie's hand back. "Thank you."

Alfie raised their joined hands and kissed the back of James's. "You're going to be worth the wait, I can tell." And the blush he earned from doing that was so, so worth it.

* * *

Sam was not looking forward to blushing his way through his first sex scene. He didn't really write sex scenes. He enjoyed reading them, hell, he enjoyed watching them. But writing them? Well, it really depended on the material. It was always a little weird, but the time he wrote a Draco/Harry sex scene for a fic exchange he'd been totally fine with. It helped that Tom Felton had finally grown up to be hot, of course. And it still felt a little weird.

But writing Mephixander? That was like writing all his masturbatory fantasies about him and Lucifer and then posting them for all the world to see!

And he really did not want to do it, but the sex was so important to the story. It was a lot of how the two characters would relate to each other and how they would grow to be more intimate. The first scene wasn't even supposed to be sexy, it was supposed to be hilarious.

Mephis decided that he wants Alexander in his office and the desk doesn't quiet have the right height and Mephis doesn't want Alexander cumming all over his papers, so he decides to have Alex kneel in the chair, facing the back of the chair so he'll have something to brace himself with. Mephis has Alex come in all pre-prepped and with a plug in. He gets Alex all set up and starts to try and fuck him.

The problem is that the chair is a really nice, really expensive rolling chair and Mephis has these beautiful cherry wood floors he's super proud of and keeps looking beautiful. Every time Mephis thrusts the chair moves away and he can't make it stop moving so he starts thrusting and chasing the chair around at the same time. At which point Alexander his gripping onto the back of the chair for dear life and laughing his head off and he can't even hide it.

They end up breaking the chair and having the most athletic sex of Mephis's life because he's chased Alex all over the office and Alex has laughed all the way through it and had and amazing orgasm because laughter is such a big turn on for him and he never even realized it.

And somehow, seeing his hard, "evil" boss so annoyed and frustrated and yet so determined just makes Alex start to actually like him. And Mephis realizes part way through that while it would have just been easy to find a towel and have Alex kneel on the floor. But he never does it, because he likes hearing Alex laugh so damn hard.

It's a really intimate scene and it starts how the two of them begin to start to like each other outside of their deal and start to be actually curious about each other.

It was a really important, really funny scene. Or it would be if Sam can ever write the damn thing.

Every time to started to write a few words he found himself either having to cover his face with his hands to hide from the embarrassment, or he'd start laughing like a lunatic imagining Lucifer chasing him around an office with his dick.

He finally sighed and looked up. He jumped, realizing that Matt wasn't in the room but his girlfriend was.

"When did you get in here?" Sam asked.

"Relax, I didn't come to distract you, I just came to get a book," Emerson said, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear as she examined Matt's bookshelf.

"What are you looking for?" Sam asked, really wanting any excuse to stop writing for a little while.

"Not sure. Just ignore me," she said, stilling looking at book spines.

"I can help," he said.

"I'm not going to be your writing distraction. Besides, you kept laughing so you must have gotten to a good part, right?" she asked, turning and looking at him.

"Yeah, well… it's a good scene, or it will be when I get it out of my head and on the screen," Sam said, glaring at the blinking cursor on the white page.

"Yeah, I know that syndrome," she said, plucking a book off the shelf and flipping through.

"Don't we all," Sam said. Everyone who'd ever had to write a paper knew that syndrome.

"So what are you writing?" she asked. He looked back up at her and saw she was smiling. He smiled back. Yeah, he was happy for the distraction for a few minutes.

"The first big sex scene."

"And it's supposed to be funny?" she asked, sitting down on Matt's bed and flicking through the book.

"It's going to be hilarious and that's part of the point of why this is so hard," Sam muttered.

"Are you afraid you'll get down to "He thrust, she moaned, she thrust, he moaned?""

"I… well, yeah, but with two guys… how did-?"

She waved dismissively. "I did one on one roleplays when I was 12 to 15. It's how I learned about sex really… but yeah, sometimes you just get to a place where is like the most boring writing ever about something that's supposed to be really exciting."

"And like seventeen back and forth posts of "he thrust, he moaned,"" Sam agreed nodding.

"But you're good. I've peaked at some of your stuff." She got up, put the book back and picked out another. "Yeah, I've been wanting to read this one. Anyway, I'm going to go read outside. It's a nice day, a little warmer than normal and sunny."

"Yeah, thanks," Sam said. He watched her go and sighed, looking back down at his page. He was about to try his scene again when his phone started to ring.

He didn't exactly throw his laptop off his lap in search for his phone, he was more careful than that, but he did end up setting his computer on the floor and digging around in his covers until he located phone. He found it was a shout of success and answered it.

"Yes!" Sam said, rather out of breath.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" It was Lucifer's voice! Lucifer was calling him! HIM! How did Lucifer have his phone number?

"Ah, no," Sam said, still panting a bit.

"Not… exercising or anything?" Lucifer asked in a very careful manner.

"Ah, no, not unless you count scrambling around in the blankets as exercise," Sam said with a little laugh. "How did you get my number?"

"I stole my brother's phone and asked his boyfriend for your number," Lucifer said.

"Ah, yeah, okay, good," Sam said and winced. He was a writing major now and that was the best he could come up with? Some great scholar he was. "So, what do you need?" And didn't that just sound bitchy as hell?

"I got the posters approved and printed and I was wondering if maybe you'd help me hang them?"

"Yes, of course, I'd love to," Sam said. He shut his laptop with his foot and toed it under his bed. Then he got up and went to find pants, pants that he could wear outside and that weren't pajamas.

"Good. I'm outside your building. Meet you in five?" Lucifer asked.

Sam blushed. Lucifer was there, out there actually waiting for him. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute," Sam said happily. He dropped his phone on his bed and quickly changed into warmer clothes and actual shoes. He grabbed his jacket and keys, wallet and phone and rushed out.

Lucifer was standing right in the lobby, looking amused with his iPhone pressed to his ear.

"Hi," Sam said.

Lucifer chuckled. "Hello Sam," he said into the phone.

"What?" Sam asked

"You never hung up your phone," Lucifer said into the phone and Sam realized that he was hearing a noise from his pocket. He picked his phone out of his pocket and carefully, slowly, shakily raised it to his ear. "Hello?" he asked.

He could hear his voice coming from Lucifer's phone. Lucifer laughed and Sam heard him laugh as well as his laugh at a little time delay from the phone in his ear. Sam was certain his face was completely pink.

"Hello, Sam," Lucifer said and smiling warmly. "I think we should hang up now."

"Uh, yeah, that's a good idea," Sam said quietly. He pulled his phone away from his ear and hung up and Lucifer turned his iPhone around so Sam could see when the screen changed from the call screen to when it was just the menu.

"So," Lucifer started with that wonderfully warm smile still on his lips.

"Sorry about that, I wasn't thinking," Sam said, scratching the back of his head.

"It's fine. Hell, it was pretty funny," Lucifer said, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"So, um, posters?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, here," Lucifer said, picked up a box full of posters with tape and a stapler inside and dropping it into Sam's arms.

"Are you carrying anything at all?" Sam asked, groaning a bit from surprise of weight. It always surprised him just how heavy paper could be.

"I do have my iPhone," Lucifer said. "Now come on," he said. To his credit (a little bit) he did open the doors for Sam, but Sam was still literally left with the heavy lifting.

They didn't really talk about anything for the first few posters. Lucifer placed the posters, and taped or stapled them himself. He didn't ask Sam to put down and pick up the box over and over, just follow Lucifer around and hold the box. While Sam's arms weren't happy, Sam realized that it was probably going faster than if they'd both tried to place posters.

"Was it hard to get approval?" Sam asked once the box started to feel a little lighter and they'd been through two different buildings and to a couple of lamp post.

"Nah, I know someone," Lucifer said. "I just shoved it under his nose and had him approve it. Easy Peasy."

Sam chuckled.

"What?" Lucifer asked.

"Oh, nothing, I just never imagined you saying something as dorky as "Easy Peasy"."

"I'd blame it on Gabriel," Lucifer said, smiling a little as he stapled a poster to a bulletin board. "But it would be a lie. I liked watching Burn Notice when it came out and one of the main characters said that enough that I just picked up on it."

"Ah," Sam said, smiling a little. It was just so amazingly dorky. "So, what, you like spy stuff?"

"Do not knock it. You notice the new Marvel stuff is all cloak and dagger," Lucifer pointed out.

"You better be careful, you're gonna lose all your cool hipster street cred if you start talking like a fanboy," Sam teased.

Lucifer shook his head. "I like things unironically. I don't intend to make shit for hipsters unless they can enjoy my work just 'cause it's good."

"Uh-huh," Sam said, nodding. The glared he earned made him laugh.

"And what about you?" Lucifer asked, sounding more than a bit miffed. "I bet you're so very stylish all the time."

"What do you mean, what about me?" Sam asked.

"Oh come on. I'm not stupid, you got to have something you geek about," Lucifer said with a little smile.

"Oh, nope," Sam said, starting to get a bit red.

"Uh huh," Lucifer said before switching his voice to a falsetto. "Someone's a Liiiiiaaaaaar."

Sam burst into laughter. "Oh Jesus Christ! You're going to quote Garth's stupid sock puppet?" He thought he was going to bust a gut laughing. Or worse, drop all the posters. It was just the very last thing he ever expected Lucifer to do. Garth was a weird, but sweet boy from back home who liked to help out with kids and put on puppet shows with his sock puppet, Mr. Fizzle. Garth was pretty far down the social totem pole at USD 237.

What made Sam laugh all the harder was that Lucifer started laughing too, and Jesus, did he have a really amazing laugh, especially when it was so full force. Laughter just invaded his body and poured out of him almost like he had some other kind of force controlling his body.

Sam finally had to set down the box. He was propelled to keep laughing because Lucifer was laughing and then Sam would play it all back in his head and he'd start laughing even harder. He doubled over and just put down the box so he could hold onto his knees and not actually fall over.

It took a few minutes, way too long really, since Sam was aware it wasn't that funny, for them to stop cackling like loons. Sam slowly straightened up and Lucifer was able to push off the wall he'd been holding onto for support. They both were wiping their eyes and still giggling a little, smiling at each other.

"This is what I'm looking for," Sam said.

"What is?" Lucifer asked, still taking deep breaths.

"Shit, did I say that out loud?" Sam asked.

"Sam, do not make me laugh again, I'll murder you," Lucifer said, wheezing.

"Oh, like you could catch up to me with how winded you are," Sam said smugly. Lucifer made an ugly strangled sound and punched Sam in the arm. Sam got the last (metaphorical) laugh, though. Lucifer had to hold onto Sam's shirt and lean against his arm when Lucifer started laughing again.

"I hate you," Lucifer panted when he finally managed to stop.

"Sure you do," Sam said, with a totally innocent smile. When Lucifer let go of his shirt, Sam bent over and picked up the box.

"So, what did you need?" Lucifer asked.

"Shit, are you really going to insist on me answering that question?" Sam groaned as they started heading to the next hall to put up a poster.

"You will not distract me with laughter," Lucifer said, offering Sam a smug look very similar to the one Sam had been wearing earlier.

"Okay, fine," Sam grumbled. "I was talking about this scene for a story I'm working on."

"Something for class?" Lucifer asked.

Sam thought his face was probably cherry red. He never wanted to have the image of him reading porn in class in front of his professor and the other students, especially porn he wrote, ever again.

"No way in hell," Sam said. "It's just… personal."

"Like a book or like a journal."

"Book," Sam said.

"So what is it?" Lucifer asked.

"It's this…. Well, it's this sex scene I'm writing," Sam said. He gripped onto the box a little tighter.

"Yeah?" Lucifer asked, stopping Sam in front of a new bulletin board. He took out a poster and the stapler. He positioned the poster and quickly stapled it to the board. He tossed the stapler into the box and led Sam on.

"So, yeah. It's these two… guys trying to have sex in an office. And one guy is in the office chair and the other guy is trying to fuck him and because the chair has wheels on it, it starts moving around the room with every thrust. So the pitcher is chasing the catcher all over the room while the catcher laughs his head off."

"Ok, that only sounds amazing," Lucifer said, cracking a smile. "So what's the problem?"

"It is amazing. It's supposed to be amazing. This was the scene that got me going on the idea for this story. This is a huge, huge part of the story where the characters connect for the first time on any sort of level that isn't just antagonistic. It begins them falling for each other. It's one of the most pivotal scenes in the whole story and there's no way I can't fuck it up."

"Ah," Lucifer said.

Everything went silent for a bit while they attached more posters to more places. After they left their third building and entered the forth, Lucifer spoke again.

"So, this story you're working on. Is it due tomorrow?"

"No, that would be insane," Sam said. "I certainly wouldn't be out here with you if I had to have it done by then."

"That's true. So, is it due next week?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah, no, that would be equally insane," Sam said.

"Then I don't get the problem," Lucifer said.

"Do you… this is a huge scene. It's like the scene where Hagrid tells Harry he's a wizard. It changes everything!" Sam suddenly felt really frustrated. This was a huge deal to him and it was like Lucifer was just making fun of him.

"Yeah, but how many times to you think Rowling rewrote that scene?" Lucifer asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Look, this is just the sketching stage. You can practice drawing that flower over and over again until you feel like it's right. It's still the same subject, but you're practicing and improving. Then you find the right version and you start inking it and cleaning it," Lucifer explained.

"Oh," Sam said, blushing a bit. "You're saying I have time to fix it."

"But first you've got to write it. You can't get to the good tenth sketch if you never even start the first one," Lucifer said, smirking a bit.

"You don't have to look so fucking smug about it," Sam muttered.

"I am merely passing onto you the wisdom of the ages," Lucifer said in a sage voice. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Has anyone ever told you that you you're an ass before?"

Lucifer beamed broadly. "Only every day, mon cher," he teased.

Sam shivered. Shit, he did not need Lucifer talking to him all sexy in French.

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get this done," Sam grumbled. He wasn't really mad or anything as he started off so Lucifer had to jog after him. He just knew that if Lucifer started to speak to him in French again that he'd do something really stupid, like kiss Lucifer's stupid, pretty French speaking mouth.

* * *

_It wasn't like anything Alexander had thought could conceivably happen. He didn't exactly think sex was a serious, serious, art house kind of activity, but he'd never imagined laughing until he physically couldn't breathe during sex. He also never imagined laying with his partner on the remnants of a very expensive office chair while the two of them kept giggling and making absolutely no move to get up and move somewhere more comfortable._

" _Well, that was not at all how I planned for this to go," Mephis said, leaning over and placing a kiss on Alexander's forehead. It was so stupidly intimate for his boss to kiss him like that, but Alexander didn't bother pushing him away, he only giggled a little more._

" _Eh, it's not like it was unsuccessful," Alex said. Mephis giggled a little more too and Alexander just kissed him. They broke the kiss pretty quickly because neither of them could stop laughing. They pressed into each other's skin and laughed because really at that moment there was nothing else to do that would be as good._

-"The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene that Sam is trying to write is based on [This post by havveapowwwwoww](http://havveapowwwwoww.tumblr.com/post/41049451561/annie-and-kitty-discuss-sabriel).


	8. Chapter 8

It wasn't like Sam only spent the entire week being a happy but nervous wreck about the trip to the Stephen Museum of Art. It was more that it was finally Saturday and Sam had practically bound into Samandriel's room and woke him up so they wouldn't be late. He was trying to not be too visibly excited too, because he knew Samandriel was having a real problem with Gabriel, and Gabriel was going with them only because it would get him to Lawrence so he could see Kali sooner.

But Sam was really excited, because he was going to be riding in the same car as Lucifer! Sam couldn't help but be terribly excited.

And Sam got to sit in the front seat with Lucifer! He didn't want to call it the best day ever, but it was definitely far up there for him. He had dressed in a nice button up and his best jeans and boots. He wanted to look good, but not like he was trying too hard. In contrast, Gabriel in the back seat looked like he had dressed to go clubbing.

Sam glanced back at Samandriel who couldn't hide how unhappy he was, but who had tucked himself right into Gabriel. Gabriel looked way too excited and it made Sam want to smack him. Instead he turned back at Lucifer.

Lucifer was dressed up nicely, though he had on a tee shirt and a Henley over top, but they were nice material, and really Lucifer could make anything look good. Lucifer wore his clothes, his clothes didn't wear him.

"Would you like to turn on the radio?" Lucifer asked.

"Hmm? Oh yeah," Sam said, flicking on the radio. He wasn't surprised to hear classical music when he hit the on knob. He turned it up a little, but not too much, because he did want to talk to Lucifer on the way up.

But they didn't talk, not really. Gabriel and Lucifer traded some remarks and Sam said a little bit, but Sam noticed that Lucifer looked in his rearview mirror a lot, and he was pretty sure that Lucifer was looking at Gabriel and Samandriel in the back, not at whatever cars were behind him.

It was only a half hour to Lawrence from Topeka, or thereabouts. It sure felt longer, though, especially because Sam really couldn't get Lucifer to want to talk for very long and Samandriel wouldn't speak at all. Sam turned around to say something to him at some point, only to see that Samandriel looked like he was about to face his own execution.

He was really glad to be out of the car by the time they arrived.

"Ah, good, you made it," Dr. Robinson said. "Sam, Samandriel, this is my daughter Cassie," she introduced. Cassie Robinson was a beautiful young black woman, who was maybe a few years older than Sam, definitely closer to Lucifer's age. Sam smiled at her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Robinson."

"Cassie is fine," Cassie said with a big smile. "Hello Samandriel, it's good to see you again in the light of day."

Sam glanced over at Samandriel who'd actually relaxed a little. He reached out and shook Cassie's hand and his smile got a little bigger. Sam thought he still looked pretty ill, but nothing like what he'd looked like in the car.

"Yeah, you too. You know, I thought you were a beautiful woman at night, but you're gorgeous in the sunlight," Samandriel said. Cassie laughed and it was warm and rich. Samandriel seemed to relax even more.

"Excuse me, you two know each other?" Gabriel asked, sounding kind of annoyed. Sam looked at Lucifer who looked back at him. That was the first emotion Gabriel had expressed all day that wasn't cocky happiness.

"We met a few nights also," Samandriel said. "Cassie Robinson, this is Gabriel Milton. He's Lucifer's brother."

"It's nice to meet you," Cassie said, offering him her hand to shake. Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest. Cassie shrugged and shook it off. "So, you're one of the little brothers Lucifer always talks about?"

"Oh, does Samandriel not talk about me?" Gabriel asked.

"Well, I only met him once, so it's hard to have a conversation about more than the weather under those circumstances," Cassie said.

"I see," Gabriel said. "So, are we going to the museum, or what?"

"We're waiting for the others to arrive," Lucifer said, dropping his arm over his smaller brother's shoulders.

"I thought you only caught a ride up with us," Samandriel said, looking surprised, but a little happier.

"You kidding me? I shelled out money for a ticket, so of course I'm going," Gabriel said.

"That's… really nice," Samandriel said. He still looked tense and not well, but he did look a lot better. He reached out and took Gabriel's hand. Or he tried to anyway. Gabriel ended up pulling away from Lucifer and putting an arm possessively around Samandriel. Samandriel didn't seem to mind all that much, though.

They milled around for another ten or so minutes while the other students pulled up. They'd actually gotten about seven people who weren't WASA to come for the trip. Lucifer looked at Sam and winked. It looked like their posters had actually worked.

Dr. Robinson went and bought tickets with Lucifer and then she came back and passed them out. People had paid before they'd left.

"We'll meet at the entrance to the museum in three hours and go to lunch then," Dr. Robinson said. "Try to stay with a buddy who has a watch if you don't have one," she added as they went in.

They passed off their tickets when they got inside and separated. Sam didn't actually have anyone, but he had his cell phone and Samandriel and Lucifer and Dr. Robinson all has his number if they needed to find him. He also had a notebook with him. They weren't allowed to take pictures, but he did write down the information of paintings he liked and a little explanation type thing of what it looked like.

Honestly, he was happy to just look around for a while. It was kind of peaceful to just look and not be crowded around by a tour guide. He could spend fifteen minutes looking at one painting and two seconds looking at another if he so chose.

And he so chose. He eventually decided to go to the little courtyard thing they had just to see something that wasn't art for a while and to give his eyes a bit of a rest. He didn't actually get outside, though. He stopped in the door because he heard argument between two voices he knew.

Gabriel and Samandriel were in the courtyard and were glaring at each other fairly intensely.

"Like you're not going to go sleep with Kali the second you're out of here," Samandriel said loudly.

"And you found some bimbo well before hand to be sure you weren't alone at night!" Gabriel snapped.

"Excuse me, Cassie Robinson is a kind woman who I met when I was feeling like shit because my boyfriend had decided to go sleep with someone else and then told everyone about it because he needed to brag about it. She's a nice person who I happen to know and nothing else."

"Oh, that is so much bullshit," Gabriel said. He shoved at Samandriel's shoulders. Samandriel had been on the wrestling team and Sam half expected to see Samandriel shove Gabriel back. Instead, Samandriel took the shove and let himself be pushed back and he didn't step in closer, but Gabriel did move closer.

"I don't know what I'm even arguing with you about!" Samandriel said, his voice cold and not shouting but definitely clear. "You're the one who's about to go cheat on me!"

"Well, if that's how you feel about it, then maybe we shouldn't even be dating!" Gabriel snapped, just getting louder.

Samandriel said something else, but it was so soft Sam couldn't hear it. But Gabriel just looked furious and stalked off back inside. Sam jumped aside so Gabriel could get past and honestly Gabriel didn't even seem to notice him anyway.

Sam stood there for a minute, just trying to figure out what happened. He realized that Samandriel hadn't come inside. He went out the door and over to Samandriel who was just standing there.

"Samandriel?" Sam asked quietly.

"Please, just leave me alone, Sam. I don't need sympathy, I just want to be angry," Samandriel said very calmly.

"Yeah… I get it. Call me if you need me, okay?" Sam asked.

"I will." Samandriel said.

Sam really didn't want to leave Samandriel alone, but he still turned and walked back inside. He went in search of Lucifer the second he got back inside. He walked quickly through the gallery until he found Lucifer at the Far East exhibit, sitting and sketching one of the paintings that was hanging on the wall. He had his tongue sticking out a little, which was actually adorable.

Sam went and sat down on the bench next to him and watched Lucifer draw. Lucifer didn't look up or seem to notice him at all. Honestly, that was what Sam had expected when he sat down. And it felt like just what he needed. After about ten minutes, Lucifer had finished with his sketch enough to turn and look at Sam.

"What do you need?" Lucifer asked.

"Gabriel just broke up with Samandriel," Sam said.

"Oh," Lucifer said. "Oh, shit."

"Yeah," Sam said.

"Why are you here?" Lucifer asked.

"Well, Gabriel ran off to fuck Kali and Samandriel asked me to leave him alone… I just… I know you better than the others," Sam said.

"Are you okay?" Lucifer asked in a soft voice.

"I shouldn't feel this bad about it," Sam said self consciously.

"He's your friend and he's in pain. You'd be a psycho if you didn't care," Lucifer said.

"I just… I could see it coming but none of us could stop it," Sam said with a heavy sigh. Lucifer sighed as well.

"It's a family trait to be very thoughtless," Lucifer murmured.

"I just… Samandriel isn't a bad guy, and he really liked Gabriel. Hell, he liked him for a really long time." And that was the problem wasn't it. What happened when you got everything you ever wanted and then it didn't work out?

Sam was giving up on Lucifer, or he was making an attempt to, but they'd started to build some kind of friendship. What happened if they got together and then things fell apart? That was why Sam didn't have the bravery Alfie did. Sam would rather regret it then get everything he wanted rather than have it be ripped away.

He'd watched it happen with Dean, when he got his acceptance letter to Purdue University, which had one of the best AgSci programs in the world, only to find out that it was an accident and not only had he not been accepted, he hadn't even been wait listed. He ended up in KSU, which did have a reasonably good AgSci program. But it wasn't as good, and Sam had seen how absolutely crushed Dean had been. He'd given a copy of the acceptance letter to the counseling office and he'd been listed in the bulletin for graduation as attending Purdue in the fall.

No, Sam did not want to have that happen to him.

And honestly, as far as the Milton family was concerned, Gabriel was the failure. Michael had been accepted to West Point. Anna went off to Hollywood and had been cast in a TV show. Raphael was studying to go to Med School. Lucifer had spent years in Paris before he returned and went to Washburn. He was probably going to go on to higher education and a great life as an artist. Gabriel didn't really seem to have a direction except that he liked movies.

And Samandriel's family actually did have some money. With the housing economy coming back, the Pikes were doing better and they'd never been quite so long on the economic totem pole as say the Winchesters were. The Pike family had always been closer to the Milton family in terms of income than just about anyone else in the area.

So if Samandriel couldn't make it with the lowest Milton on the totem pole, what made Sam think he had a chance with Lucifer, who was so, so much higher up?

"We're not the best at making good life choices either," Lucifer said and Sam snorted. Sure, the Milton's weren't wealthy compared to someone who lived in New York, say. But they had a lot of money and power in their area and even their "failure" son was in college and would probably head off to LA and go into film or something. Their family had success in their blood.

"I mean it," Lucifer said, frowning a little.

"I know you do," Sam said. He just couldn't really believe that Lucifer Milton not making good life choices was the same as Sam Winchester making bad life choices. For instance, Lucifer had never stalked his crush by following him into a major just so he could be around him.

"You can at least try to act like you believe me," Lucifer said. He didn't sound hurt or angry, he just sounded tired.

"Sorry," Sam said quickly.

"You can sit with me while I draw, but don't bother me," Lucifer said.

"Of course," Sam said.

He watched Lucifer go back to sketching. It wasn't perfect, but he felt lucky to have a chance to actually watch Lucifer while he worked. He wanted to not waste that by worrying about the future, or someone else, even one of his friends.

* * *

"Well, if that's how you feel about it, then maybe we shouldn't even be dating!" Gabriel snapped. While Samandriel had been trying to speaking softer, Gabriel just got louder. He didn't care who heard. Gabriel was the type of person who liked to cause a scene, who wanted to accuse Samandriel of infidelity where everyone could hear and then feel sorry for him later.

Forget that Gabriel only came with Samandriel to the museum to begin with because he planned to go sleep with Kali. Forget that Gabriel wouldn't have even stepped foot inside if it weren't more the fact that he'd seen Samandriel talk to Cassie and suddenly felt jealous.

"Maybe we shouldn't be dating then," Samandriel said really softly.

Gabriel didn't even pause, he just looked furious and then stomped off, leaving Samandriel still standing there. Samandriel didn't watch him go, he just looked straight ahead. He wasn't certain how long he stood there, but then Sam was at his elbow and talking to him.

"Please, just leave me alone, Sam. I don't need sympathy, I just want to be angry," Samandriel said trying to sound as calm as he could.

"Yeah… I get it. Call me if you need me, okay?" Sam asked.

"I will." Samandriel said.

Sam turned and walked back inside. Samandriel still didn't feel like he could breathe when Sam left. He didn't feel like he could move at all for a long moment. He did move though and he did find a bench to sit on.

He didn't really want to break up with Gabriel. But, clearly, Gabriel hadn't really wanted to stay with him. He wanted Samandriel to be just devoted to him while he could go out and sleep with anyone he wanted to. Samandriel couldn't live with that.

But he hadn't wanted to break up with Gabriel.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but he knew that when Cassie sat down next to him that she felt like a furnace and he was shivering.

"There's a café we can go to that I know if you don't want to stay here," she said. "Or there's a café inside the museum."

"Let's just go back inside," Samandriel said quietly. He let her help him up and he followed her back inside, his eyes down on the cold hard dirt as they walked in.

He realized when they got to the café and she'd gotten him to sit down that they'd been holding hands while they walked in. He only realized it because his hand felt cooler when she went away. He looked down at his hand and flexed it.

"Here, I got you soup," Cassie said. Samandriel didn't jump, but he did look up at her. She put a tray down in front of him and he looked down at it. He looked back over at her. She had a tray of her own with a Panini and soup. She broke the sandwich in half and gave him half.

"You don't have to feed me," Samandriel said, but he took the spoon and dipped it into the soup. He blew on it and took a bite, it was broccoli cheddar.

"Yeah, well, this is what I get myself when I've just had a bad break up," she told him and dipped her sandwich half into her soup. That looked good so he did the same thing. The taste made him smile just a little bit.

"There we go," Cassie said, smiling back at him.

"How did you know I broke up?" he asked.

"Your… he wasn't exactly quiet, was he?" she asked.

Samandriel shook his head. His smile dropped away and he put the sandwich back down. "No… no, he never has been either."

"I'm sorry, Samandriel," Cassie said. She looked back down at her soup and took a bite.

She didn't try to touch him, which Samandriel appreciated a lot. She let him eat his soup and sandwich and sip his soda and not talk for a while. Eating was really not that hard. It gave him something methodical to do with his hands. He could think about food and about what Matt would say about the plants, or Emerson would say about the chemical compounds. He didn't have to think about Gabriel, not if he didn't want to.

"You know," Cassie said. "I'm planning on sticking around. One of my college friends is here as a grad student and they're having a party. How about I get you drunk and put you in bed."

"That sounds like a really great idea," Samandriel said.

"Good," she said. She made no move to leave, though.

They finished their food and Samandriel left to put their plates away. By the time he'd returned she'd procured a student news paper. He pulled his chair over and sat down next to her. They read the paper. She'd ask him if he was done before she'd turn the page and in between pages she'd mention how the paper was run when she was on its staff in school.

"You didn't go to Washburn?" Samandriel eventually asked.

"Nah, who wants to go to the school that their parent teaches at?" Cassie asked. Samandriel smiled a little and nodded.

"Yeah, that makes sense," he said quietly and looked back at the paper.

When they finished she folded the paper and put it into her bag and then stood up. He stood up and followed her out of the café. He thought maybe they'd go to her friend's then, but she took him around the gallery.

He didn't mind, he loved the museum, and he didn't feel like letting Gabriel ruin his chance to look around.

At some point he realized that they were holding hand and had been for quite some time. He didn't pull away, though. He squeezed her hand a little bit.

They stayed quiet a while. They didn't leave until everyone else had already left from their group. She held his hand when they left and when they walked to a McDonald's for dinner.

"Is this another one of your break up food places?" Samandriel asked.

"Well, I figure, when you want a McDonald's burger, you're really feeling nostalgic to begin with, or it can make you nostalgic," she said.

"I never had a McDonald's with Gabriel," Samandriel said.

"Well, then that's good too," Cassie said with a smile. She tipped her head toward him and then took a big bite of her burger.

He ate his own and found that in that moment it was exactly what he needed. It was comforting because it was familiar. It was nice to know that, whether he was pining after Gabriel Milton, or having broken up with him, or even just having won a soccer game, or anything else, a McDonald's was a McDonald's. It didn't change from place to place. It all tasted the same and was the same.

It was consistent when nothing else in his life was and that was comforting.

They didn't talk during dinner. Samandriel didn't mind. They finished and took a short bathroom stop and then headed back to the campus and then past it to a set of apartments. It was on the third floor and Samandriel could hear the music when they were still on the second floor.

When the door opened for them the music was so loud that Samandriel thought he was going to go deaf. They got dragged inside. Cassie laughed and took Samandriel to get a drink. They both took a double shot of vodka and then a fairly full glass of whiskey.

Samandriel didn't remember how much alcohol he had that night.

When he woke up in the morning, naked and with his arm slung over Cassie, who was also very naked he found he wasn't that surprised. Horrifying headache aside, he found he didn't regret it, even if it would only be a onetime thing.

Then she rolled over and kissed him he thought it probably wasn't going to be a onetime thing, and that was nice too.

* * *

Gabriel was so furious when he left the museum that he couldn't even remember walking to the KSU quad. He was too busy thinking things like "How dare he?" and "Who does he think he is?" and "Did he not think I would find out?" and "What do I do now?"

Well, that last question was obvious, go and find Kali.

But his feet didn't take him right off toward her room. He'd been told exactly where room to go to and how many times to knock and what to wear and he'd been excited about it for days. Because Kali was completely beautiful and he'd been in love with her since forever.

And then Samandriel had to go and be a total dick about it!

Kali was only probably only gonna let him have one day and then Gabriel would be back to pining after him. Kali was the kind for woman you put on your "The List". "The List" was sacred. "The List" was what kept couples together. "The List" was normally about which five celebrities you could sleep with and your partner couldn't be pissed off about.

And maybe Kali wasn't a celebrity, yet anyway. But she was hot enough to be one. It was a once in a life time thing. When Gabriel got back on Sunday it would be just like it always was. He didn't get why Sammy couldn't get that.

And then what was that bullshit about not dating that hot woman? Oh yeah, it's so not flirting to say "you were beautiful at night, but oh wow, you're hot in the morning too!" Did Samandriel pick her up in a bar? No, Samandriel was such a Goody Two-Shoes. He wouldn't go to a bar. But where else could he have picked her up?

Did he take her back to his room? Alfie was out with Old Man River often enough that maybe Samandriel took her back to his room and they had sex on his bed. But Alfie would probably sniff that out and throw a fit, so Gabriel doubted it.

Did he take her back to her place? She was living with her mom, though, right? And Dr. Robinson probably wasn't having a wild time out in the evenings. So that only left him dragging her off to a hotel.

Or maybe they'd found some abandoned corner.

Maybe they hadn't had sex, maybe they'd just made out.

And so what if they met but didn't sleep together or make out? Samandriel clearly wanted her. He'd told Gabriel he was gay, so him having a crush on a woman made Samandriel a huge lying liar.

Gabriel wasn't going to mention that he swapped sexual labels so much he'd given up labeling himself anything but "Gabriel the Sex God".

But what did that even matter! Samandriel shouldn't be hitting on other people is what Gabriel understood to be true. Gabriel hadn't hit on anyone since they got together, not that he meant anyway. Kali of "The List" aside, he hadn't slept with anyone… or actually even wanted to, not since Samandriel told him yes.

Gabriel realized he'd stopped walking and was just standing in the middle of the quad staring off into space. He scowled and picked up his feet and stomped toward Kali's dorm. He sent her a text that he'd be there in a minute while he walked.

It really didn't take long to get there and a few seconds later she was there to let him in. She was honestly as beautiful and bright as he remembered, more so because her baby teenage features had started to melt away and he knew that she'd be getting more and more gorgeous for the next 15-20 years.

Sure, he wouldn't get to see that, but knowing that dazzled him, and he beamed at her as broadly as he could.

"Kali, my love," Gabriel said, throwing his arms open wide to her.

"Come in," She said, showing no interest in returning his boisterous affection. Same old Kali.

(Samandriel would have run into his arms and snuggled into his chest and probably accidentally gotten them both locked out of the dorm in the process, but that was neither here nor there.)

She led him up to her room. He followed after her and took time to eye the lines of her back. There was almost nothing sexier than a beautiful back, except maybe a beautiful front and Kali was beautiful all over.

She was just in short shorts, probably PJ shorts, and a tank top that she clearly had just thrown own. She hadn't bothered with shoes, though there was an anklet on her left ankle made out of little beads. Her hair was damp and braided back messily. Her toenails and fingernails were painted cherry red, which matched her shorts just fine. Everything about her screamed reckless abandon and beauty. She didn't give a fuck if you liked how she looked, she was beautiful and Gabriel ate that up with a spoon.

"I was a little surprised you agreed," Kali said, unlocking her door. She stepped aside and let Gabriel in.

Her dorm room was a dorm room. It was cleaner than his place, anyway, but not that clean either. But it smelled like perfume and not dirty feet. He doubted that she'd ever consent to enter his room at all, while Samandriel would tackle him to the bed with kisses while his roommate wasn't around.

"Why's that?" Gabriel asked, shutting the door as quietly as he could. Kali lounged back on her bed.

"You had pictures of yourself plastered all over a boy, the same boy over and over again," she said. "I thought maybe you were off the market."

"If you were worried about infidelity, why did you ask?"

She shrugged. "I was in the mood. If you didn't want to, then you would say no. But you didn't. Does the boy care?"

"We broke up," Gabriel said.

"Hmm," she said, and made a motion for him to come close. He did and she grabbed him into a kiss, dragging him down against her. He laughed a little and kissed her back. "I don't care much."

"Yummy," he said with a big smile.

"You're here. I assume you plan to stay the night?"

"I'll hitch a ride back tomorrow," Gabriel said, crawling onto the bed with her.

"Good. Get undressed," she said. She pulled off her shirt. When had she gotten her nipple pierced?

"Yes ma'am!" Gabriel said, starting to fumble with his own buttons.

It would normally take nothing to get him out of his shirt. Samandriel had him out of them sometimes with only the first few undone. Neither of them would really recommend it, because it involved pinched wrists and accidentally nearly pulling your boyfriend's nose off when you try to get his shirt off over his head.

The time they'd tried to experiment with a glasses kink had been particularly awkward, painful and hilarious when it came to getting the shirt off. Maybe Gabriel should switch to tee-shirts only. It certainly made getting naked quickly much easier.

"You're not undressed," Kali said. She was down her panties, which were black lace and definitely doing something for Gabriel.

"Uh, yeah, why don't you help me?" he asked with a grin.

"No, I told you to do it," she said.

Gabriel didn't have a problem with Kali wanting her lovers to show her exactly how devoted to her they were. He'd always gotten off on that before. But he thought of Samandriel, who would get impatient with how long Gabriel was taking to get undressed and would start undressing Gabriel for him, mumbling about how Gabriel did it on purpose so he could be lazy (which was true, that and Samandriel looked cute all annoyed).

"You're not unbuttoning," she said, sitting back.

"No… I'm not, am I?" Gabriel asked. He looked down at his buttons. He'd only gotten two of them undone and then stopped. He looked over at Kali who was sitting there in only a pair of black lacy panties that were just begging to be ripped off and which probably had been made in France or something.

And he couldn't unbutton anymore buttons.

"When did you break up with him?" she asked.

"Fifteen minutes ago," Gabriel said quietly.

Kali let out an exasperated sigh and pulled her shirt back on.

"Wait, why are you getting dressed?" Gabriel asked.

"You're not going to sleep with me tonight," she said.

"What? Now that I'm broken up you don't want me anymore?" Gabriel said in an accusatory voice. What kind of home wrecker was she?

"No," she said, getting up and picking up her shorts off the floor. She pulled them back on.

"Then what? You're just suddenly off limits now?"

She jumped while she pulled up her shorts. When she stopped she turned her head over her shoulder and smirked at him. "You really are as ignorant as a child, aren't you?"

"Seriously, deny me sex and then call me a baby?" Gabriel snapped, starting to get kind of pissed off. He didn't need that kind of shit, not after the day he'd already had.

"You think I'm denying you sex. It's very much the other way around," she said. She went to the mini fridge in her room and took out a carton of Ben & Jerry's from the freezer section. She got two spoons and crawled back onto bed and handed him a spoon. She pulled the lid off and set is aside.

"I'm not getting this at all," Gabriel said, but he took a spoonful when she offered him the carton.

"You can't get your shirt unbuttoned when before your pants nearly were fast release around me. You just broke up with your boyfriend a few minutes ago. You were trying to use me as a rebound and you couldn't even do that right. I'm not a great girl friend whose shoulder you cry on, but I do have ice cream."

"Ice cream is good," Gabriel said, feeling a great sadness just swamp him.

"Tell me what happened, try not to be boring," Kali said, handing him the carton. "And don't hog the ice cream."

"Yes ma'am," he said. He took a bite and held the carton out so she could reach. "Where should I start?"

"Why did you break up?"

"He has another woman," Gabriel grumbled.

"Really?" she asked like she barely cared.

"Maybe?" Gabriel asked and then sighed. "Her name is Cassie Robinson. She's one of Sammy's professor's daughter. She's older and smoking hot. And Sammy told me he was as gay as the day as long, but he looks at her and his tongue's nearly dragging on the ground. So I figure if he's lying to me about being gay, why not be lying about having a woman on the side."

"Or he's merely just attracted to this woman and you're an idiot," Kali said with a shrug.

"Now that isn't fair," Gabriel said, but he took another bit to shut himself up.

"There are people who are only attracted to others who are very smart. Some people only like men and some only like women. Some want to hold hands with people, but don't want sex. Others want sex but not hand holding. All of this is fine and normal. Except that it's very, very rare for a human being to never want another gender than the one they mainly prefer."

"So what, we're all bi?" Gabriel asked. He certainly was. He just liked beautiful things, really. Beautiful people. Interesting people. Smart people. He wanted something unique and amazing, like Kali and her amazing beauty and sharp personality. Or Samandriel and his soft smiles and easy affection and amazing passion.

"One of the first sex researchers, the first credible one in this country, created a scale of sexuality, the Kinsey scale. People who are completely heterosexual rank as a 0 and people who are only homosexual rank as a 6. Except that very few people are only a 0 or a 6. Most will experience at least some vague attraction to a gender they don't normally like. Of course the scale isn't accurate, exactly."

"I'm not quite getting you," Gabriel said. He had heard of the Kinsey scale, and now that she talked about it, he vaguely remembered reading about this before.

"Your ex boyfriend might generally be attracted to men before, but has certain characteristics he finds very attractive across genders, and she hits enough that he's attracted to her. Normally he might prefer men, and in fact might only have seen men he was interested in before, but suddenly he meets a woman he likes. That doesn't mean he's bisexual. If he wants to identify as gay, then he is. He can still have sex with a woman, or still love a woman, but as long as almost always he's attracted to men, he's gay."

"So, you're telling me that a gay man can marry a woman, have a totally happy marriage, and still be a gay man?" Gabriel asked.

"In theory. It hardly ever happens. And it's completely possible that while he might be very attracted to his woman, he's probably still much more interested in being in a relationship with a man. When did he meet her?"

"Um, he said only a few days ago," Gabriel said. "Just a short conversation with her, he said."

"And so you ended your relationship because you were jealous that your boyfriend was attracted to a woman he'd only ever spoke to once for a few minutes?" Kali asked and then laughed. "Time has not been kind to me. I forgot why I found you pathetic to begin with."

"Hey, I'm not pathetic," Gabriel said.

"Did he like you coming to see me?" Kali asked.

"Well… ah, no… he said it was cheating," Gabriel said.

"It would have been, probably still would be," she said with a shrug.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Gabriel asked. "You were the one who invited me."

"You jumped from fling to fling until you found me," Kali said. "I couldn't be certain if you had another fling or not. I merely invited. You're the one who made plans to come see me, and then broke up with your boyfriend not even an hour before, because you thought he might be sleeping with another woman." She let out a sharp laugh. "Yes, Gabriel Milton, you are very, very pathetic."

"Shit," Gabriel said quietly, looking down at the carton. He got a bite and chewed on it. It didn't taste as good as it did a few minutes before. What was wrong with him? Samandriel had practically clung to him like a barnacle the entire trip up there. Lucifer had pulled him aside before hand and told him that he shouldn't see Kali. The trip up was really quiet too.

Samandriel hadn't wanted him to go, but what hadn't the kid said anything?

Because why should he have to say anything? He and Gabriel were dating and Gabriel shouldn't be going after some girl, no matter how much Gabriel liked her. That's how Gabriel felt about Samandriel and that woman. Of course Samandriel would feel about Gabriel and Kali that way.

"Shit," Gabriel said again.

"It seems you've come to your conclusion then?" Kali said. "Don't put that spoon down on my bed spread." She took the carton from Gabriel's had. He licked the spoon and put it down on the lid.

"Yeah… I shouldn't be here, I mean… shit, he won't take me back, will he?"

"How should I know?" Kali asked. "I don't know your boy."

"True," Gabriel said. He sighed heavily. Maybe Samandriel would. He thought Samandriel would even if Gabriel slept with Kali.

Gabriel reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He called Samandriel but it went right to voicemail. He wasn't surprised. Samandriel made a big deal about turning off his phone when he went to the library, or galleries, or to hear a performance or watch a movie. He'd probably turn it back on later… hell, he might not even remember until Sunday. Samandriel wasn't great at remembering to keep his phone on.

"Hey Sammy, it's me… Listen. I'm… shit, fuck and balls, I'm sorry. I did go see Kali and she talked me around. I'm sorry for accusing you, and I'm sorry for… well… nearly doing what I accused you of doing. That was really fucking shitty of me. I'm just a jealous moron. Just… I don't want to break up, okay? I know that I fucked up this time. But I don't want to break up.

I'm not gonna be back on campus tonight, because honestly I don't think you'll talk to me anyway. But I'm gonna call Lucifer and see if he'll party with me and I'll stay with him and we'll probably crash in his car. I'm not staying with Kali, but I definitely need a drink and KSU cares a lot less about alcohol than Washburn. So just… I'll be there tomorrow okay? I'll be there and even if you don't get this message, it'll be here so you'll know that I mean this. I'm not making a drunk decision. It's not even a half hour since we broke up and I regret the fuck out of it. So just… please let me apologize in person… and I hope you'll give me a second chance, because I'm a huge fucking moron, but I really like you.

So just, please… yeah, please… okay, thank you," Gabriel hung up. He heaved a big sigh and looked at Kali.

"So, I hear you're not staying," Kali said.

"Yeah, I'm not," Gabriel said. He offered her a weak smile. "Thanks, by the way."

"No problem, I saved myself some hours. I forgot how boring you were," she said. She put the cap on her ice cream and got up. The spoons were tossed in the sink and she popped the carton back in its little freezer.

"You dumped me because I was boring?" Gabriel asked.

"I had you all figured out and I wasn't impressed," she said.

"Way to kick a man when he's down," Gabriel said, giving her a thumbs up. Kali shook her head.

"I'll tell you where the best parties are, if you tell me where your pretty big brother is going to be this evening," Kali said.

"Oh, no way you'll work your charm on him. Lucifer's head of heels for his secret crush," Gabriel said.

"Oh pooh," Kali said with a pout.

"But I would really, really enjoy knowing where the best parties are tonight," Gabriel said with his best big pleading puppy dog grin.

* * *

_Mephis ran his fingers through Alexander's hair. He did it because he could. He did it because he liked it. He did it because part way through he could twist his fingers into Alexander's hair and pull his head back and make his enemy look at him. Mephis smiled, showing off his bright white teeth._

" _How the mighty have fallen," Mephis said._

" _Is that truly the best you can come up with?" Alexander asked with a scowl. Mephis resisted the urge to laugh. "Because really, you big brother comes up with so much better lines."_

_Mephis dropped Alexander's head like he'd been burned by it._

" _I don't need to hear about my brother's accomplishments," Mephis hissed._

" _Why not?" Alexander asked with a hoarse laugh. "He's the one who captured me, not you."_

" _You forget whose home you're in," Mephis said darkly._

" _No, I'm not," Alexander said with a sharp smile._

\- Chapter 15, _Broken Crown,_ book 4 of the "Book of Deborah" Series by H.R. Remy


	9. Chapter 9

Samandriel got back Sunday afternoon. He went to his room and changed clothes, mostly so that the next time he saw Alfie he wouldn't get the hairy eyeball and then be asked a million questions about how his day went.

He knew his brothers probably wanted to ask all about what happened. If they didn't know about his break up, Samandriel would swallow a shoe. And he wasn't ready to talk about it. Cassie had made him talk about it before she let him go home. And honestly, he knew he needed to.

But he'd rather think about Cassie and the revelation of how wonderfully squishy female breasts could be. He didn't think he really wanted to go around touch a bunch of boobs in his life though. But he could see happily touching Cassie's at least a few dozen more times.

He felt good about having been with her. He didn't want to puzzle out what that meant. He wasn't ready to shift labels, nor did he suddenly look at every woman he saw and want them. And he was no less attracted to the guys he'd been attracted to before being with Cassie.

And he still wanted Gabriel.

That was the worst part of it all. He wished he could just be happy. But suddenly, randomly, he would be hit with such a terrible pain in his chest. He wanted Gabriel. He wanted Gabriel back. He didn't want to start dating Cassie. He'd take their night together back if he could have Gabriel back.

It was pathetic. Who needed someone who planned to cheat on them and would then accuse them of cheating? Cassie understood that while Samandriel found her to be very attractive, and absolutely brilliant, that he also had just had a painful break up.

She offered to go out with him to lunch on Tuesday. He was looking forward to it. He liked talking to her.

But first he had to face changing his relationship status, and clearing out pictures of Gabriel from his Facebook, and telling everyone that the relationship was over. He had to pack up the clothes Gabriel left in his room and deal with getting his things back from Gabriel. He'd have to deal with Sam's sympathetic face, and Alfie's unvoiced "I told you so"s, and Matt's warm hugs.

He didn't want any of it.

But thinking about just having to get to Tuesday, that got him standing up and going to the other room in the suite and knocking on the door before he came in. Matt had Emerson curled up on his chest and they were asleep on Matt's bed. Sam was furiously highlighting his notes for Mock trial.

"Hey," Samandriel said quietly to not wake up the sleeping couple. Samandriel had a moment where he just hated them for being happy. He stomped that down hard. Matt historically did not make good dating decisions, and Emerson was probably the best decision he'd ever made when it came to women. It wasn't fair or right for Samandriel to feel like that.

"Hey," Sam said, looking up at him. "Did Gabriel find you yet?"

Samandriel gave Sam a chilly look. "Why would that matter?"

"Let's talk outside," Sam said, glancing at the sleeping couple. Sam set his papers aside and climbed off his bed. He walked out of the room and pulled the door shut behind him.

"So, what?" Samandriel demanded.

"I was sitting with Lucifer for a while and he got a call from Gabriel. Gabriel didn't sleep with Kali."

"And I still don't see why I should care," Samandriel said. But he was relieved.

"Because he called you right before that and told you that he wanted to get back together," Sam said.

Samandriel blinked. He sucked in a breath. "He… he did?"

"Well, go check your phone," Sam said.

"I… yeah, I will, thanks," Samandriel said. He vaguely waved to Sam and then went back into his room. He rooted around in his pants and pulled out his phone. He'd actually had it off all night. He turned the phone on and in about ten seconds it began chirping like crazy.

It always did that when he turned his phone back on. He'd gotten a barrage of messages. He flicked through them real quick, ignoring his Facebook messages and the ones from his brothers and Sam. He'd gotten one voice mail and about 60 texts from Gabriel.

He did look through those.

*How about we meet for dinner. Subway?* Was the most recent one.

*I'm going to get back probably around 2.* It was sent at around noon, though it was now well past two.

*Lucifer's puking. He told me that he hates me. I don't believe him.* That was under a picture of Lucifer with his head in the toilet, flipping Gabriel off.

*I hate the sunshine. Kill it. Kill it with fire.*

*Good morning.*

*I love u sooooo much!*

*Dunk care what u dunk. Wand you!*

*Tackle me back. Oversee.*

*Most Bristol Man I've ever sin.*

Well, nice to know Gabriel was definitely drunk that night. And it was nice to know that he had been in the pain in the morning, though Samandriel did feel a little guilty for even thinking that.

Samandriel started flipping past the texts, looking at different pictures of Lucifer or Gabriel or Lucifer and Gabriel through the night, about every 15 or so minutes back until after an hour after Samandriel and Gabriel had broken up.

Samandriel's eyes stung a bit when he read the text under the first picture.

*I'm gonna take and send a million pictures to you so you'll know I'm where I say I am.*

He gulped and pulled the voice message up that Gabriel had sent him.

"Hey Sammy, it's me…" Gabriel sounded really uncertain and Gabriel didn't sound uncertain.

"Listen. I'm… shit, fuck and balls, I'm sorry. I did go see Kali and she talked me around. I'm sorry for accusing you, and I'm sorry for… well…" Gabriel was really apologizing? Honestly, Samandriel thought he'd never have seen the day.

"Nearly doing what I accused you of doing. That was really fucking shitty of me. I'm just a jealous moron. Just… I don't want to break up, okay? I know that I fucked up this time. But I don't want to break up."

Samandriel's breath hitched. Gabriel really didn't want to break up with him. He wanted to get back together with him. He still wanted to be with him. Gabriel wanted to apologize to him.

"I'm not gonna be back on campus tonight, because honestly I don't think you'll talk to me anyway. But I'm gonna call Lucifer and see if he'll party with me and I'll stay with him and we'll probably crash in his car. I'm not staying with Kali, but I definitely need a drink and KSU cares a lot less about alcohol than Washburn." Which was why he'd gotten a barrage of pictures and texts. Though they clearly hadn't slept in their car. Knowing their family, they probably found a motel or they found someone to crash with.

"So just… I'll be there tomorrow okay? I'll be there and even if you don't get this message, it'll be here so you'll know that I mean this. I'm not making a drunk decision. It's not even a half hour since we broke up and I regret the fuck out of it. So just… please let me apologize in person… and I hope you'll give me a second chance, because I'm a huge fucking moron, but I really like you. "

"So just, please… yeah, please… okay, thank you," and then the message ended.

Samandriel sat there for a minute and then he replayed the message. He did that twice before he had to admit that he actually had heard what he thought he'd heard. Gabriel wanted to get back together with him.

He hit the call back button and put the phone up to his ear. "Gabriel?" he asked the second the phone was picked up.

"Sammy?" Gabriel sounded so hesitant. Samandriel didn't like that tone in Gabriel's voice.

"Yeah… yeah, I just… got your message, well, messages. I really didn't need that many pictures."

"Well, I wanted to be thorough," Gabriel said.

"Yeah, but there's also about 8 hours of unaccounted for time due to sleep," Samandriel pointed out.

"…shit," Gabriel muttered. Samandriel laughed.

"It's okay, you tried," Samandriel said. He sat down on his bed and pulled one of his crocheted pillows over and hugged it.

"So," Gabriel said. "Will you, um… you know?"

"Go out with you again?" Samandriel asked. "Listen, can I tell you something first."

"Anything," Gabriel said.

"I slept with Cassie last night," Samandriel said.

"You… what? You what?"

Samandriel thought that now he might cry. The numbness had worn off and all the good feelings and everything that was left was just bad.

"I was drunk. We both were and I'd just broken up with you and it just… it just happened," Samandriel said. "I'm sorry. If I'd had any idea that you'd have taken me back I wouldn't have."

"Well, that's why you should check you damn messages," Gabriel snapped.

"Gabriel-"

"No! I spent all night trying to show you that I wasn't going to cheat on you, and you-"

"Don't you dare throw this back on me!" Samandriel snapped. "You got jealous for no damn reason and-"

"Clearly not no damn reason!"

"Listen to me!" Samandriel shouted. The line went silent for a moment and Samandriel realized he was panting.

"Okay, what?" Gabriel said calmly but with ice in his voice.

"I was attracted to her when I first met her, but we'd never have been like that if I was dating you. It only happened because I was so heartbroken over you. Maybe it would have happened if I wasn't dating you, but it certainly never would have while I was so damn drunk that I don't even really remembered what happened and it wouldn't have ever been while you and I were dating." Samandriel knew he sounded manic and pleading.

Gabriel didn't say anything for a few moments and Samandriel found himself swallowing thickly. He almost wished he'd hadn't had this conversation over the phone.

"You were the one who said we should break up," Gabriel said.

"Because you suggested it," Samandriel said much more calmly. "And because you were accusing me of cheating on you, when you were the one who'd spent all week telling everyone and bragging about how you were going to go cheat on me… I don't have a lot of pride, but I have enough to know that that kind of behavior isn't something I can live with."

"So… are we really over this time?" Gabriel asked. His voice was very soft now. Samandriel hated that tone on his voice too.

"I don't know. It depends on stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Well, to start, can you forgive me to sleeping with Cassie?" Samandriel asked.

"I… not at the moment. I mean, I know I can, and I'm going to because we were broken up, and God knows I'm the king of rebound sex, but I need a few hours to wrap my head around it. Can you forgive me?" Gabriel asked.

"For what?" Samandriel asked. He wanted to hear Gabriel say what he'd done wrong. He wanted to know that Gabriel knew.

"For being a total bastard and deciding that I'd sleep with Kali… and for being a jealous idiot," Gabriel said.

"I'm not certain," Samandriel said. "See, I do have a little bit of pride. I'm not certain I want to be with someone who could do something like what you did."

"Come on, Sammy, please. I won't ever do it again," Gabriel said, starting to beg.

"Look… I've got a lunch date with Cassie on Tuesday. It's actually just for food. Can you give me until 8 on Tuesday? I need time to think, and I need to talk to Sam and my brothers and my other friends," Samandriel said. "So, can you give me until 8 on Tuesday?"

"To see if you'll be dating her or me?" Gabriel demanded. Of course he was still jealous.

"No… to see if I'll be dating anyone at all right now," Samandriel said.

"Oh… yeah, that's fair. I'll leave you alone, then," Gabriel said.

"Just for a little bit of time," Samandriel said. "Gabriel… I do still like you, and I do still want you. I want you more than I want her. But-"

"You're not sure if you can be with me after this. I get it, I do," Gabriel said. He let out a heavy sigh. "I miss you, you know?"

"I miss you too," Samandriel said quietly. He felt pressure behind his eyes. He blinked rapidly to try and hold off tears until he at least got off the phone. "And you know, you can't kill the sun with fire. It's already made of fire."

Gabriel chuckled weakly. "Yeah, I had heard that before. Oh well. I'll see you around then?"

"Mm, yeah, see you around," Samandriel said.

He stayed on the line until it went dead. Then he put his phone down and sighed heavily.

* * *

"Well, that bombed," Gabriel said.

"What happened?" Lucifer asked. He was laying sprawled over Gabriel's bed, staring up at the ceiling. Gabriel nearly rolled his eyes at what a lazy slug Lucifer was being. He had to remind himself to be grateful that his brother bothered to stay with him at all.

"It was Sammy," Gabriel said, plopping down next to Lucifer. Lucifer rolled over and wormed himself around Gabriel, pulling him into a hug.

"I know you didn't break up," Lucifer said.

"He slept with Cassie," Gabriel said.

"Oh dear," Lucifer said. Gabriel snorted.

"Understatement… and it's my fault, because he'd never have done it if I hadn't been such a jack ass."

"You were quite a jackass," Lucifer said. He gave Gabriel's hips a tighter squeeze and he smirked when Gabriel glared at him.

"Oh shut up," Gabriel snapped, pulling away. He started to pace. "It's not like we all can have the GREAT AMERICAN ROMANCE like you!"

"Hey, fuck off," Lucifer snapped, sitting up. He flushed bright red.

"What, can't take the heat?" Gabriel taunted.

"If you say "get out of the kitchen", I swear to God that I will skin you," Lucifer snapped.

Gabriel knew he shouldn't tease. Lucifer's hopeless crush was as hilarious as it was tragic and pathetic. And Lucifer always had been a bleeding heart. But Gabriel was hurt too, and he just wanted some sympathy.

"Can't you just, I don't know, be nice for like even a half a minute?" Gabriel demanded.

"What do you want me to say? I got totally blatoed with you last night. And commiserated your shitty ass luck. I drove home with a fucking hangover for you," Lucifer said, clearly still a grumpy gus about it. "And now you want me to say "oh, poor you", like you didn't bring this shit down on yourself?"

Gabriel glared at Lucifer. They were completely silent for a moment, neither of them making a sound. The heat turned on, which jolted Gabriel a bit. It seemed to jolt Lucifer a bit too, because he blinked very rapidly for about a second and then shifted his weight.

"I know I fucked it up," Gabriel said. "I'm not even on my own side on this one. But I need you to be one my side for just a little while, okay?"

"Yeah, okay?" Lucifer said. He walked over to Gabriel and pulled him into a one armed hug.

"Thanks," Gabriel said quietly.

"You're welcome," Lucifer said.

They shifted back into silence then. But this silence wasn't so uncomfortable. Still, it was enough to kick Gabriel's brain into gear.

"You know," Gabriel started.

"Yeah?" Lucifer asked. He licked his lips, which was how Gabriel knew that Lucifer was holding back a smart ass retort.

"Smartass," Gabriel grumbled.

"I didn't say anything," Lucifer protested. Over protested in Gabriel's opinion. Gabriel rolled his eyes with great exaggeration.

"You didn't have to bone head. And you know, maybe I won't help you."

"Help? Wait, what do you mean help?" Lucifer demanded.

"I mean help you with your little crush," Gabriel said, pulling away from Lucifer.

"I don't need help," Lucifer insisted, going and laying back on Gabriel's bed and staring at the super uninteresting tile ceiling.

"Yeah, like you're out making out with your fella right this instance," Gabriel said.

"Shut up," Lucifer said, his cheeks getting a bit pink.

"Look, it's not one of my schemes or anything. But if you really like this guy, then you should find out what he likes," Gabriel said.

"Not me," Lucifer said glumly.

"Oh, Jesus, Luc!" Gabriel nearly snapped out of exasperation. "Just listen. Look, he's so much more likely to like you if he sees that you're interested in what he's interested in."

"So?"

"So, go hang out the places he does. Or find out what books he likes and read those," Gabriel said, rolling his eyes. "This is super not hard."

"I don't know… isn't that a bit… stalker-ish?" Lucifer asked. Gabriel gave him a look. "Okay, fine, it probably is a good idea."

"No, it's definitely a good idea," Gabriel said, dropping back down on his bed. He nudged Lucifer over until they could both fit on the bed. "Just do what I say and it'll all be fine."

"Yeah, I saw what your own advice just got you."

"Eh, do as I say and not as I do," Gabriel said as sagely as he possibly could.

He looked over and saw that Lucifer was smiling. Gabriel smiled. Or he did until Lucifer pulled up one of the pillows and smacked him in the face.

* * *

James was happy to have gotten a text from Alfie, asking to meet for lunch. They'd meet at the dining hall, a very non-sexy date, but James was fine with that. He just wanted to see Alfie. So maybe he had to drive a half hour there and back and had to get someone to cover the beginning of one of his classes. Alfie promised it wouldn't be a common thing.

Actually, the way Alfie had texted him made him a little worried. Alfie was normally pretty good about not asking for things that would be an imposition. Even when they'd just had a student and teacher relationship, Alfie had always gone out of his way to not inconvenience James. Not that Alfie might not be the type who would start to see what he could get James to do. Those people always started out seeming like they weren't that type.

But James was certain that Alfie wasn't like that.

But then James was certain his past lovers weren't like that either.

James tried not to sigh at that thought. He didn't have a great track record with men and for once in his life a man had come up to him and told him that he was irresistible. James knew he was a sucker, but he couldn't quite help himself. He was still glad they'd gone slow. He needed to keep his head on straight about all of this or he'd end up losing more than just his pride.

"James, you're here!"

James looked up and smiled when he saw Alfie. James had spread out over a two person table so everyone would leave him alone until Alfie came. Alfie was in a tee shirt and jeans that were way too tight. When Alfie lifted his book bag off his shoulders and dropped it onto the chair, his shirt rode up a little and James could have sworn he saw a bit of pink lace.

"Have you eaten yet?" Alfie asked.

"No," James said, shaking his head.

"Then let's go grab food." Alfie offered James his hand and James took it, letting Alfie help him up. It made him a little sad that Alfie dropped his hand. It was better, safer for them both if they weren't very visibly dating. Even though Alfie wasn't his student anymore, and was legally an adult, James didn't want KSU to get the impression that he couldn't keep his hands to himself around the students.

James followed Alfie to get in line and get a tray. He tried not to look at the young man too hard, because he really was beautiful and James had a hard time not just staring. It also always made him wonder why Alfie possibly wanted him.

James didn't think he was a bad looking man, and he did go for a jog every morning before work and longer on weekends. He tried to eat right as well. But he was in his mid-to-late fifties and age had set on him. Things sagged. His stomach in particular which had been flat right up through forty suddenly started to pouch. His hair grayed, his face lined. The veins on his hands were starting to become more pronounced.

To top it off, he was just rather tweedy. Jenkins had teased him about looking like he stepped out of _Mad Men_ , except as a lame older uncle, not a suave older gentleman. James had just come to accept that he was uncool and would never be cool again. He had accepted his fuddyduddiness. He was fine with it.

And then a beautiful young man walked up to him one night and told him that he was attractive, and brilliant and truly, truly wanted. And James was certain if he let Alfie go home with him that at least one of them if not both of them would be out of their clothes within the first fifteen minutes. Alfie looked at him and talked to him like he was sexy.

At best, it was bewildering. At worst it was very troubling. James had never so badly misjudged a situation before in his life. While he'd noticed Alfred Pike had grown up into a fine young man, an attractive one at that, he'd never imagined that Alfie might actually find him attractive. It was stunning and not really in a good way.

So he couldn't quite help but wonder when the other shoe would drop and he'd find out what Alfie wanted all along.

They got their trays and walked back to their table. They put their food down and settled in. Alfie sipped the apple juice he'd gotten and glanced around at the people in the cafeteria, not looking at James.

"Is there a reason why you asked me to lunch?" James asked.

"Not a good one," Alfie said, still not looking at James.

"What does-" James started, but Alfie cut him off, and turned to look back at him.

"Samandriel and Gabriel broke up over the weekend," Alfie started. "And then my dumb ass brother went and slept with someone else. So now he has to decide if he's going to get back with a guy who's really an asshole and doesn't appreciate him, or get with this gorgeous woman when Samandriel's still 98% certain he's gay. Or if he'll just give up dating for a while, which is kind of the last thing he wants to do. And yeah, I get that, but honestly, it's just become this stressful mess."

"I'm… sorry, Mr. Milton has been known to be pretty thoughtless," James said. At least that was how Gabriel Milton had always seemed to him.

"Yeah, well the reason I wanted you here is not to talk about that."

"Then why did you want me here?" James asked.

"I'm so dam tired of the whole situation right now. I just wanted a chance to have something good for a little while, and last night I thought of having lunch with my boyfriend and well… I'm sorry for having you go through so much trouble all over this. It really, truly isn't worth it, but I'm just feeling really… tired, right now. So please, can we please talk about something else, even if it's the color of the sky."

Alfie gave him this pleading look and James found himself giving Alfie this goofy little smile.

"You called me your boyfriend," James said. He grinned a little more when Alfie's face started to get red.

"Well, it's what you are right?" He sounded not annoyed but like he was trying to sound annoyed, so really he just sounded defensive. Then he looked anxious. "You are my boyfriend right. I'm sorry if that's not where we are or what you want us to be. It's just that-"

"It's good… better than good," James assured him. He waved his hand a bit. He was certain he looked like a damn fool, grinning like he was, but he also found that he couldn't really care. "It's very, very good."

"Very, very good?" Alfie asked. His face was still red, but his lips were starting to curl into one of those silly and infuriating little smirks that were so common on his face.

"Don't pretend like you aren't very happy that I like you calling me that," James said.

"Of course, I'm your boyfriend after all," Alfie said. His smirk shifted into an enthusiastic grin.

"Good, then," James said. He took a sip of his tea, partly to hide his little smile. He had trouble how anyone could be so happy about being attached to him, but Alfie never seemed to do anything expected of him.

"So, what shall we talk about?" Alfie asked, leaning forward a bit, that big grin still plastered to his face.

"You know, I do have a question," James said. He sounded confident. He knew he's normally he'd be flustered at this point, with what he was about to ask. He'd apologize about if it were appropriate or not, but he just knew his question would only make Alfie smile. For once he wasn't worried.

"Oh?" Alfie asked. He took another sip of his apple juice and snuggled down into his seat. "And what is this question you have for me."

"Don't be coy," James said, but he was smiling too. "I saw what looked like a bit of pink near the hem of your pants. Are you under a dare of some kind?"

"Oh, you want to see?" Alfie asked. He picked up his knife and deliberately dropped it on the floor. "Whoopsies, better pick that up." Alfie stood up and turned around with his back to James and then bent over, slowly retrieving the knife.

James felt his face heat up as he looked. Alfie's jeans moved when he bent over like that and James got an eyeful of sheer, intricately designed, baby pink lace panties. There was even a satin bow at the back. James gulped and then took a big gulp of his tea.

And Alfie, the little bastard that he was, had a huge smirk on his face when he settled back into his seat.

"Why?" James croaked, not even able to come up with any other words.

"Because I like wearing them?" Alfie asked, sipping his apple juice very calmly. "Because I like how I look in them. Because I own about fifteen pairs now?"

"Fifteen?" James wheezed. He couldn't quite picture it, but it just made him really, really want to see.

"Yeah. I'm definitely getting you into a pair eventually," Alfie said with a little smirk. "A plain black pair. Nothing adventurous or anything. But yeah, you'd look hot as hell in some panties."

"No, no, darling," James said, shaking his head. He wasn't really enthusiastic about young, beautiful Alfie seeing him naked to begin with, but seeing him in women's underwear? No, James wasn't going to let himself look that stupid.

"Darling?" Alfie asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it just slipped out," James apologized quickly.

"No," Alfie said, his smile becoming shy. His cheeks became just the lightest dusting of pink. He looked beautiful like that. "No, I like it. Will you call me that again?"

"Darling," James said, feeling his own smile come back. He reached over and placed a hand on top of Alfie's. He rubbed his thumb over Alfie's hand and Alfie smiled a little more.

"I like it," Alfie said again and then started to eat.

James was content with that. They ate without a lot of conversation after that. It didn't need to be more than that. It was easy, companionable, and their hands touched for almost the entire meal. James didn't even mind having to drive back to KSU after that.

* * *

_Alexander wasn't going to lose hope. It only looked hopeless, but he'd been in Debora's company long enough to know that it didn't have to be hopeless. For whatever reason things just seemed to work out for Debora. Was it easy? No. Hell, Barack had lost half his right arm last year, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still alive and wasn't still fighting._

_But being trapped the dungeon of Mephistopheles's house was not a good thing. It was worse when Beelzebub was the one who'd done the catching. Mephis was a grade a dick, the destroyer of Alexander's previous life. But Alexander had also been the one to plunge a sword into Mephis's chest. He knew how Mephis worked._

_But Beelzebub was a psychopath without care for anything but results._

_Beelzebub was someone to be feared._

_Alexander wasn't certain if he should pray for some kind of rescue, or pray for a quick death. The only reason who wasn't wishing for death was that Debora wouldn't know if he died and she and the others would come try to get him anyway._

_What kind of home in the middle of suburbia had a dungeon anyway? It wasn't even built with demon powers. This home had been built with a dungeon included. Alexander wondered why the builder hadn't questioned it or what the hell he'd been bribed with to build such a thing._

_If Alexander ever got out of there he was going to find the builder and do the interrogation himself. People shouldn't go around building dungeons._

_Alexander sighed and sagged against his bonds. He was bored and tired and scared. He wouldn't have been able to sleep in this house even if he had the most comfortable bed in the word and had taken a couple of Ambien._

" _It seems the prince is still awake," Mephis said. Alexander didn't jump. Mephis or Beelze or any of their demons had wondered in and out enough that Alexander had gotten used to people just appearing in the dungeon at this point._

" _Does the demon ever sleep?" Alexander responded, looking up at his classmate and enemy. "You know our teachers are gonna wonder where I am._

" _They think you've run away from the group home," Mephis said, sitting down in front of Alexander._

" _What do you want?" Alexander asked._

" _Beelze frightens me sometimes," Mephis said quietly, very, very quietly. "I don't… I don't really like this plan."_

" _So what?" Alexander hissed. He knew Mephis didn't like it. He knew Beelzebub was frightening. He knew these things._

" _Debora and her ilk are coming to get you. I want to help," Mephis said quietly._

" _Liar," Alexander said._

" _I'm not lying," Mephis whispered urgently, leaning in closer. "If I'm found out, Beelze will have me killed. But what he's doing… no, this is dangerous."_

" _What is?" Alexander asked, his eyes getting a bit wide. He had a feeling that Beelze wasn't just keeping him in order to trap Deborah._

" _I can't say," Mephis said, pushing himself off the floor. "Just do what I say and I'll get you out."_

" _Wait-" Alexander started, but Memphis has strode out the door, leaving Alexander alone in the darkness._

_What in the world was Beelzebub up to that had Mephis so terrified?_

\- Chapter 18, _Broken Crown_ , book 4 of the "Book of Deborah" Series by H.R. Remy


	10. Chapter 10

Sam flipped his phone off before he could get fussed at by his professor again. He should be paying attention to their Mock Trial session. He'd gone off on Saturday instead of coming to the full Mock trial session. Their competition was in only a few days. It was Friday and Saturday. They'd been preparing for months.

And that was exactly it. They'd been preparing for months. Sam had physically memorized his statement word for word. He knew his testimony backwards and forwards. He'd worked his attorney on which laws specifically applied to his testimony and how to be able to defend against objections, and what Sam would do if his lawyer couldn't protect him.

Right now they were polishing images and speeches and Sam wasn't feeling pumped, he was feeling tired as hell. He was going to have practice every night until Friday. He knew he should feel grateful for all the extra practices and how psyched up everyone was about it. But he had 4,000 words still to write for the day and he couldn't do it during practice.

He'd been reading _Broken Crown_ on the kindle app on his phone. It was his favorite book, the one where Mephis tricks Debora into killing Beelzebub so Mephis can take his power and position. The fifth and sixth book had their perks, and some great stuff in them, but _Broken Crown_ was Sam's favorite.

Half of it might be the way Alexander was locked in Mephis's dungeon for two thirds of the book. But honestly, it was also that Mephis never harmed Alexander and while he did trick Debora, he also did help Alexander escape. The forth book was the reason Sam shipped Mephixander like he did. He's started reading it when he'd come to realize that he was more interested in boys than girls, and he'd found the Mephixander community and acceptance there long before he was able to accept himself.

He was rereading it to help him get Alexander's and Mephis's characters right for his story.

He was also reading it because he was working on Dean's study theory. It was simple: the closer you get to the date of the exam, the less you're going to be able to retain. Dean didn't study the night before any test, well, not the material that was on the test. He'd glance at his notes and then do something else. It meant he went into tests much less stressed.

Sam couldn't exactly do that. But he knew that he knew his material for the mock trial competition. At this point if he practiced too hard or studied too much he was just going to get nervous.

He just was tired of sitting still while he waited for practice to be over. He knew it was almost over. They'd finished their closing arguments and were almost done with the professor's notes.

"Alright, go get some sleep," their professor said, shutting her notebook. Sam let out a sigh of relief and got up. He stretched and went to gather his things. He nearly jumped of out his skin when he saw Lucifer sitting back there with his things.

"Lucifer," Sam said when he walked back to him. He felt more comfortable with Lucifer, but he still didn't expect Lucifer to show up at his practice. "How long have you been here?"

"I got here a bit before you did your part," Lucifer said, smiling a little.

Sam frowned. "I didn't see you."

"Yeah, well, you were really focused. You're good."

Sam blushed. "Thanks… um, do you need something?"

"Well, not exactly," Lucifer said. "I wanted to thank you again for helping me with the posters. We got a lot more people than we expected and we made some money and really, it was just a good way to get people to know that we aren't really stuck up."

"I didn't do much," Sam said. "It was just a really good trip."

"Yeah, but you put a lot of effort in to help me," Lucifer said. "And I'm really grateful for that. That's what I came to say is all."

"Well, thanks," Sam said, smiling a little. "But you know, you didn't have to come all the way down here. You know where I live."

"Yeah, but I kinda wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm good," Sam said. "Hey, would you be interested in coming with us to Lawrence on Friday? We have our first competition there and it would be really, really nice to see a friendly face."

"I think I would enjoy that," Lucifer said and smiled a little. "Can I walk you home?"

"I think I would enjoy that," Sam said with a mischievous little smile. Lucifer smacked his arm.

"See if I ever do anything nice for you again," Lucifer said with an over exaggerated pout.

Sam laughed. "Oh, yeah right." He pulled on his coat and then shifted his bag onto his shoulders. "Shall we?"

"Lead the way, princess," Lucifer said, stepping aside and giving a deep bow. Sam scowled, but it wasn't even like Lucifer could see when he was bowed like that.

"Come on, my valiant serf. We must brave the cold," Sam said, walking out of the room. He smiled a bit when he heard Lucifer laugh behind him.

He suddenly jumped when he felt a hard smack on his butt. He glared at Lucifer as Lucifer came to walk beside him, smirking.

"I've been hanging out with Gabriel the past few days," Lucifer said.

"You need to not take after him. Ow." Sam rubbed his butt. That had actually kinda hurt.

"Princess, do you need me to kiss it and make it all better?" Lucifer asked.

"Nope," Sam said and smacked Lucifer's ass as hard as he could before he took off running down the hall.

"Winchester!" Lucifer shouted. Sam cackled and picked up speed. He could hear Lucifer running after him. He didn't need to look back to see that Lucifer was gaining speed.

"Excuse me!" Sam shouted, dodging around other students who'd left before him and who were clogging up the hall. He could only hope that they'd hold Lucifer up more than they held him up. But Sam could still hear Lucifer coming after him. Sam started to run down the stairs.

He nearly tripped over his feet, but when he got to the bottom he didn't hear Lucifer's footsteps. He turned, panting hard and nearly shrieked when Lucifer grabbed hold on his arm.

"How did you catch me?!" Sam nearly shouted, panting around the words.

"I slid down the railing," Lucifer said with a little smile.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Sam groaned. He couldn't believe he'd missed that.

"Just because you lost the race, you gotta guy me a soda," Lucifer said, nodding to the soda machine that was right near them.

"Fine, fine," Sam groaned. He started digging around in his pockets for his wallet. He was still trying to catch his breath. "What do you want?"

"Lemonade," Lucifer said, walking Sam over to the machine. He stood right next to him like he thought Sam might bolt again.

"Fine," Sam said, finally fishing his wallet out. He opened it up and then blushed. He didn't have a dollar in there at all. He checked to see if he had any coins, but it was only about six cents. "Fuck."

"What?" Lucifer asked.

"I um… I don't have enough money," Sam said, starting to blush. You never wanted to admit to anyone you liked that you couldn't afford something. It was even worse to have to admit it to the guy you liked.

"Jesus, what a guy won't do to get out of paying for something," Lucifer said, pulling out his wallet. "What do you want?"

"Uh, what?"

"To drink? What do you want to drink?"

"Um," Sam said, rubbing his neck. "Whatever you get is fine."

"Lemonade then," Lucifer said. He bought two bottles of minute maid lemonade and handed Sam the first one. "Now you owe me two drinks. If I have to wait a year, then you'll owe me three, got it?"

"Uh, yeah, got it," Sam said. His face still felt a little warm. He twisted the cap off his drink and took a sip. "Thanks for this."

"No problem," Lucifer said. "You're fun. You play like you're five, and better yet, you invite me to play too."

"Ah, that's not much," Sam said, taking a big gulp of his drink.

"It is to me. I'm the old guy. No one wants to play with the old guy." Lucifer sighed heavily. "I mean, I'm really glad I went to Paris… but some days I really wished I'd come to college. I mean, the freshman just play so much, it's like they're kids again. But no one was ever going to invite me to play like that."

"Well, now we're all too old for that," Sam said wistfully. "I swear, I wish I'd played more when I was a freshman."

"Yeah, but you probably got invited," Lucifer grumbled.

"Tell you want, the next time I get wrangled for an RPG or a tabletop something or other I'll call you up and invite you. Sound good?" Sam offered Lucifer a smile, and Lucifer smiled back.

"Yeah, it does, actually."

They stood there in companionable silence, catching the end of their breaths and sipping their drinks. It was just nice. The other students filed out and gave them weird looks. They'd seen them running down the hall earlier. Sam didn't even acknowledge their existence. He had fun, what did he care if his classmates thought he was a little odd?

"So, you still want to walk me back to my room?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I do," Lucifer said and offered Sam his arm like Lucifer was his escort.

Sam beamed and took Lucifer's arm and let Lucifer lead him out of the building and back toward Sam's dorm. It was a perfect ending to that evening.

* * *

Samandriel was nervous about his date. Well, it wasn't exactly a date. It was lunch that had been pushed back to dinner, and that was fine with him. But he still only had a few more hours to make his decision. He didn't even know where to start with Cassie. They hadn't spoken since Sunday.

Honestly, Samandriel thought that if they two of them got together that Cassie would be happy with that. But he could also tell that she was independent enough that she'd get if he didn't. Hell, she might not even want to.

He did care about what she wanted to do. But at that moment he wished he at least knew what he wanted to do.

"Hey Sammy," Cassie said. She was waiting for him right out in front of Subway.

"Hey Cassie," he said, and tugged on his jacket a bit. He hoped that he looked okay.

"Come on, let's go get food and then we can talk about whatever's on your mind." She tugged him inside and into line.

They each ordered their own sandwich. Cassie got them a booth and let Samandriel pick his seat. He took a sip of his soda once he'd sat down while she settled herself into a booth. They didn't start talking, though. They ate first. Sam was fine with that. For a few minutes in what had been a very tense few days everything was easy. It was just subs and sodas. Samandriel was more than happy to just sit there for a long time.

Maybe that should have made his choice easier, but it wasn't. He didn't think he was going to know until he actually talked to Cassie about what happened.

"So," she said, once they'd both finished. "What's up?"

"Gabriel called me basically right after we broke up and apologized. He wants to get back together."

"So why aren't you over there with him right now?" Cassie asked. He smiled at her. He really liked her. Just as a human being he really liked her.

"Because it's more complicated than me just wanting him. He accused me of things, and he was planning on doing things, and while he didn't… well…"

"You aren't sure if that's the type of person you want to be with, right?"

"Yeah," He said. "And then there's you."

"Baby, do not use me an excuse to not be with the guy you like," Cassie said, opening the top to her soda and popping a piece of ice into her mouth.

"No… I really, really like you Cassie. I like you like I didn't think I could like women… I like you almost as much as I liked Gabriel the first time I saw him," Samandriel said. He reached out and took her hand.

"Oh," Cassie said. Her cheeks darkened and Samandriel smile a little. "Well, I wasn't exactly expecting that."

"Me either, but it's true," he said.

"So," she said. "Now what?"

"Well, I have three choices. I can go back to Gabriel… or I can see if you'd be willing to give us a try… or I can just back off dating for a while."

"And they all have their plusses and minuses, right?" Cassie asked with a sad little smile.

"Yeah," Samandriel said. "And the one thing I do know is that I'm not dragging it out past tonight. I have to decide, one way or the other."

"You should go back to your boyfriend," Cassie said. She popped the top of the lid of her soda and pulled out and ice cube. She popped it into her mouth and then licked her fingers.

"What makes you say that?" Samandriel asked quietly.

"You've known him longer and wanted him longer. And I think that's what you actually want to do, but logic is telling you it's not a good idea," Cassie said.

"Yeah," Samandriel said. "It's just kind of that easy, isn't it?"

Cassie snorted. "I should hope so. When I come across the love of my life I hope it just," she snapped her fingers. "You know?"

"Yeah, I know," Samandriel said with a big smile. "I really have liked him for a long time."

"You got hurt. But the guy actually did stop when you told him that what he was doing didn't make you happy. Maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn't a total asshole and tell him when you want something."

Samandriel looked a little affronted. "Just like that?"

"Yes," Cassie said with exasperation. "Just like that. You'd be surprised how often just telling the truth makes everyone's life so, so much easier. So why don't you start with honesty this time?"

"Okay," Samandriel said. He perked up a little.

"Okay," Cassie said, leaning back in her chair a bit.

"Can we uh," Samandriel started. "Still do the friend thing? I promise to not need coddling so much and all, but I know that you just moved back here and all and-"

"Yes, I would like to do the friend thing with you," Cassie said, laughing a bit. "With any luck we'll both be out of here in a few short years."

"But that doesn't mean we can't do stuff while you're still here," Samandriel pointed out.

"No, it doesn't," She said with a little smile. "Now go, call your boy toy."

Samandriel got up and kissed the top of Cassie's head, making her laugh and bat him away. "Thank you."

"Go," She laughed, kicking him in the butt as he turned. He laughed and left.

He felt oddly energized as he walked out. His stride was long and he was heading for Gabriel. He pulled out his phone and hit the speed dial for Gabriel.

"Samandriel," Gabriel answered.

"I want to still be with you," Samandriel said. "I'm heading for your room right now and I'm going to give you a big kiss and a hug."

"So, does that mean I'm forgiven?" Gabriel said. He sounded way too shy for it being Gabriel.

"Of course," Samandriel said. He picked up speed as he actually got back onto campus. "Can you forgive me?"

"Well, we were broken up, so it's not really cheating. So yeah, as long as you still want me," Gabriel answered.

"Yes, I still want you. I'm going to show you exactly how much I want you right now. I'll be there in two minutes. Have your door unlocked."

"Roger!" Gabriel said and hung up.

Samandriel may have started running, but if he did, it wasn't a big deal. He only jumped into Gabriel's arms and gave him a big kiss the moment he saw him.

* * *

" _You know what your problem is, little brother?" Beelze asked with one of his crueler smiles. "It's that you're a complete idiot who has no idea what to even do with himself if one of the rest of us wasn't around to pick him up and dust him off and set him on the right path."_

_Mephis had heard that sentiment all of his life. He knew it was a lie, but he also knew Hitler's big lie theory, that if you say something loud enough and long enough, people will start to believe you._

_He'd once watched an episode of Oprah where a man sat there and told everyone that he'd figured out that statistically, brown haired people were smarter than blond haired people. He kept going on like this until just about everyone believed him. Then he told them he'd made it all up. He was showing the big lie theory._

_And sadly, even identifying the big lie didn't mean that Mephis was good at not believing it._

" _And what piece of advice do you have for me today?" Mephis asked, trying not to give out a heavy sigh. Beelze was still his superior and he didn't want to piss him off and get shipped off to metaphorical Siberia._

" _That boy you're knocking around with," Beelze said. "You know if he was really, really worth the time and effort you're putting into him, you wouldn't promote him."_

" _He's one of the best of the interns," Mephis pointed out. "And we do have the space."_

" _I'm not saying don't hire. I'm just saying out him at a lower position. Tell him that he can work his way up, but he hasn't yet shown the skills you need to see in order to promote him to the position he wants to be at," Beelze said with a dark smile._

" _Why would I do that?" Mephis demanded._

" _Because if he does what you tell him to, then it means he's actually dedicated to the company. And if he still wants your company, then that means he actually wants you."_

" _Oh," Mephis said. He knew it was the big lie, but damn it, Beelze actually sounded reasonable for once._

" _Think about it," Beelze said, kissed Mephis's cheek and smiled out._

_Mephis sat down, feeling a heaviness starting to weigh on him. He should just ignore Beelze… but damn. Just damn. He knew he was going to listen to him. He would end up doing it anyway, so why even fight it. This time Beelze at least had the decency to sound sensible. And he could promote Alexander later._

" _Well, shit," Mephis said quietly to himself._

-"The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Chapter 11


	11. Chapter 11

Sam knew he was kind of a nervous wreck. He always felt like this when the competition was going to start. They were sitting in the jury pool room. They'd actually be competing in actual court rooms soon, once they were told they could go. They already had their group letters on their chests.

"You don't have to look so scared," Lucifer said. He'd offered to drive people to competition this year. That meant that Sam had gotten to drive up with him. Samandriel and Gabriel were in the back seat again. They were stupidly lovey-dovey for having only been back together a few days.

Emerson had a car and had driven Matt and Alfie up as well as two other Mock Trail participant so they could be there as well. Sam felt really glad that he had his friends coming, at least some of them. He checked his watch and looked up to the door.

"You've got at least ten or fifteen minutes before they're going to start this," Lucifer said. It had never occurred to Sam that Lucifer could be comforting, but he was.

"It's not that," Sam said. "I mean, it is a little, of course."

"Then what it is?" Lucifer asked. He glanced out at the team. They were of a fairly good size. Most of them were hanging around, standing really since there really wasn't enough seats for how many people they had there, especially when family and friends showed up. It wasn't that a huge number of people came to competitions. But honestly, the jury pool at the particular court house wasn't that big.

"I'm worried my brother's not going to make it in time," Sam admitted.

"Dean's coming?" Lucifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sam looked at Lucifer and blinked. Well, he'd thought that Lucifer had no clue who he was before. Well, maybe being around Sam had jogged his memory. Honestly, Dean was the memorable one anyway. Everyone at school knew him and loved him. That was what being a baseball hero got you.

"Yeah, and he's bringing his lovers," Sam said.

"Lovers, plural?" Lucifer asked.

Sam shrugged. Dean went to college and suddenly discovered that he was really into both polyamory and commitment. He started dating Lisa and Cas at almost the exact same time and had been dating them ever sense.

"I just want him to not be late and get locked out," Sam said. No one could come in or out of the court room once the judge had arrived during competition. He didn't want Dean to not be able to see him, and he didn't want Dean to not be able to find him.

"I'm certain it'll be fine," Lucifer said in a soothing voice.

"You're being a lot nicer than normal," Sam said in a rather off handed way.

"Yeah, well," Lucifer started, fidgeting a bit. "You're pretty agitated today. I figure it would be cruel to not be kind."

"Thanks," Sam said, letting himself smile. "I really do appreciate it."

"Yeah, well," Lucifer said again. He shifted a bit and then looked like he was about to say something. Someone opened the door to the jury pool and Sam's head whipped up.

"Dean!" Sam called, standing up and waving.

"Sammy!" Dean called, waving.

Dean had come in a nice button up, and jeans, but they were at least his nice jeans. Cas was in a suit. But honestly, Cas was always in a suit as far as Sam knew. Lisa had put on a nice dress, though. She didn't look so formal that she might be part of the team, but she looked nicer than Dean.

Dean walked over as Sam stood up. They both enveloped each other in a hug. Sam was happy to note that he was taller than Dean. A late teen growth spurt. It was kind of pain in the ass sometimes. But honestly a childish part of Sam loved being taller than his big brother.

"You made it," Sam said, sounding relieved as Dean stepped back to look at him. "Hi Cas, Hi Lisa."

"Hello, Sam," Lisa said, she stretched a bit and Sam glanced away, a little embarrassed. Sam knew he was bi, but he generally preferred men. Lisa, though, was an incredibly sensual woman and Sam had a hard time not staring once he started staring.

"Hello, Sam," Cas said. Somehow, even though they were the same words, and even a similar tone, Cas just sounded so much more formal. So Sam pulled him into a hug, which Cas accepted a little bit awkwardly.

"I'm so glad you could all make it," Sam said, stepping back to look at his family. And he did think of Cas and Lisa as family. He'd had plenty of awkward family dinners with them, after all.

"Hey, the tall people are in town," Gabriel said, walking over and slumping into Dean.

"Geez, what are you doing here?" Dean demanded.

"He came to support me," Sam said, grinning broadly. "With Samandriel and Alfie and Matt, Emerson and Lucifer," he said.

"Wow," Dean said, actually turning his gaze to see Lucifer who was still sitting. Sam turned to look back at him. Sam couldn't be certain, but he could have sworn that Lucifer now looked uncomfortable, when he hadn't before. Although he couldn't imagine why that would be the case.

Lucifer stood. "Winchester," he said a bit stiffly. Or it seemed stiff to Sam. Sam thought back on their past conversations. Aside from Lucifer being suddenly very kind that evening, he couldn't think of why he felt like Lucifer was stiffer than he had been before.

"Milton," Dean said. He gave Sam and accusatory look. It wasn't like Dean hadn't known about Sam's ridiculous crush. Sam had been fawning after Lucifer for so long, how could Dean not know? "Sammy, you got a sec?"

"Uh, sure," Sam said, carefully stepping around people and over limbs as to not severely bump into or step on anyone. He followed Dean over to a corner far away from the others.

"What the hell? I mean, what the hell? Could you not have warned me that you started dating the man of your dreams?" Dean hissed.

"What? Dean, I'm not. Lucifer and I are just…" Well, not friends. They weren't at that stage yet. "Friendly. We're just friendly. That's all. He just came to support me. He probably sees it as a return favor or something because last weekend I helped him get people to come to this big club event."

"Dude, no one comes to a Mock Trial event just 'cause they're a little grateful," Dean said, giving Sam a meaningful look.

Sam punched Dean's arm. "Jack ass."

"That's my name, don't wear it out," Dean said with a smirk, but then he patted Sam's arm. "But really, you really only think he's here for no reason."

"It's not no reason," Sam said. "What happened to you being so against my crush?"

"Well, you're an adult now, for the most part. It's not as creepy as it was in high school," Dean pointed out.

"That doesn't even make sense," Sam muttered.

"Welcome to life," Dean said, tousling Sam's hair. Sam shoved Dean away and started to straighten out his hair. Dean laughed but helped Sam get it straight.

They walked back to where the others were and Sam took his seat back next to Lucifer. Lucifer seemed quiet. Well, Sam didn't think of him as a very chatty person, and Lisa and Dean could be very chatty, but he just seemed quieter than Sam was used to.

"So, how'd your degree going?" Sam asked Lisa.

"Eh, you know, I'm at the part where I'm student teaching and stuff, but I've still got classes in the evening, so I'm tired when I get home," Lisa said, leaning against Dean. Lisa wanted to teach physical education. He knew she was hoping to get hired at USD 237.

"How about your, Cas?"

"It's acceptable. The work load is about the same as it always was," Cas said. Meaning it was massive. Accounting could do that to you, especially when you tried to get qualified to do accounting with an undergraduate degree.

Sam didn't know how Dean had done it, especially since both Cas and Lisa seemed like worldly people, but both of them had decided that they wanted to go back to Lebanon with Dean and help him run the farm. Lisa already had on an engagement ring. Cas did too, for that matter, but it was unlikely that a normal person would realize that it was supposed to match Lisa's.

The wait became less tedious after that. Sam didn't have to keep looking at the door, and Dean and Lisa got the others to loosen up by telling jokes and stories which were probably not appropriate for a court house. But people laughed and relaxed and when the speaker came and finally told them where they'd be going, Sam felt much less nervous.

Their team gave each other encouraging last words and pats on the back and then split up into the prosecution and defense. The members who weren't participating split to go with one group or the other to watch. Family and friends stayed with whichever part of the team had their relation competing.

Sam realized with a large surge of warmth that he had nine people who'd come to support him. He also knew that if his team made it to the regionals, which were being held in Kansas that year, his parents would come to see him. His family wasn't that big, but somehow he'd built a group of people who loved him and supported him.

"You ready," Lucifer asked quietly as Sam and his group mulled outside the court room before it was opened.

"As ready as I can be," Sam said. Lucifer gave him a little smile. He reached out and grabbed Sam's hand. He gripped it. Sam smiled back, but bigger. That grip made Sam feel like he was absorbing some of Lucifer's strength.

"You'll do just fine. I've seen you practice. You're better than anyone else on the team," Lucifer said. Sam felt his face heat up.

"Yeah," Sam said, trying not to duck his head with embarrassment. He looked down their shoes and made to pull his hand out of Lucifer's grip, but Lucifer just tightened his hold.

"I mean it, Sam," Lucifer said, and Sam looked up from the floor. Lucifer had such a piercing gaze, and his grip hard, but not painful, Just solid. Lucifer really believed what he said. "You got it?"

Sam smiled slowly and nodded, suddenly filled with confidence. "Yeah, I got it."

"Good, go eat 'em up," Lucifer said. He gave Sam's hand a little squeeze and then let go.

Sam had to resist looking down at his hand, but he did flex it. He could still feel Lucifer's warmth. Lucifer had the strength to go live in France and learn to speak French, and live on his own for years. He had the strength to do that. If Sam could get even a little bit of that strength, then he knew he could decimate the lawyers who'd try to cross him.

"I'm gonna," Sam said.

There was a call and guests had to go get seats. The two teams lined up and waited for a moment before they entered the court room. Sam took a deep breath. He wasn't Sam anymore. He was Ashley Hollis, Farmer, witness for the plaintiff. And he was gonna help his side win.

* * *

Sam couldn't believe how good he felt, and tired. Every time he did this he was surprised. The first year had been a big shock, but every time after that he spent an entire year telling him that it couldn't possibly feel as good as he remembered it feeling.

It was a two day competition; the first evening was the first round. The second day was round two, where teams that had won the night before were matched against other winning teams and losing teams were matched against losing teams. Everyone got to compete twice at least. The top two teams would then compete after lunch and after the awards ceremony.

He was grateful to his friends, who'd bothered to come and stay with Sam that weekend, even spreading way too many people out in a hotel room that Dean had rented. Everyone chipped in for the room and for gas, but Sam knew it was still a lot of trouble.

Sam was certain that the plaintiff part of the team had won both of their trials. His teammates on the defense said they thought they had a good chance too.

"That was really good," Lucifer said, slipping into the seat next to Sam with two plates loaded with pizza. He offered Sam one.

"Thanks," Sam said, taking his plate. He took a bite and let out a happy moan. Damn, he'd forgotten just how very good pizza could be. Not that he didn't eat pizza, but sometimes the best meal in the world is one you have right after a lot of hard work.

Sam leaned back in his seat, closed his eyes and sighed. A tiny part of him almost wished they wouldn't go on just so he could go home and sleep. But he didn't let himself think that for long. Sleep aside, he really wanted to go on to regionals.

He slowly opened his eyes and glanced over at Lucifer, only to realize that Lucifer was staring at him. He sat up straight. "What?"

"Nothing," Lucifer said with a little smirk. He turned back to his pizza and took a bite.

"Ah, okay," Sam said, feeling like he was really missing something.

"Anyway, I meant what I said," Lucifer said. "You really were very good."

"Thanks," Sam said, feeling his cheeks heat up. Compliments from Lucifer were the best compliments. "Thank you for coming to see me. I know this was a pretty big inconvenience."

"Sam, it was fun," Lucifer said. "One day I'll have to drag you off to a convention or something."

"Convention?" Sam asked a little quietly.

"You know, Like Comic Con. Not that big though. Leaky Con is fun, smaller too, which is nice," Lucifer said. "You sleep in a room so full of people there isn't even floor space. It's kind of incredible."

"Cons, conventions. You want to take me to a con?" Sam asked.

Lucifer shrugged. "Well, you'd at least get why this really wasn't much of an inconvenience. I've driven longer and slept in worse places for people I like a lot less than you." Lucifer was about to take a bit of Pizza, but Sam placed his hand on Lucifer's arm so he couldn't do it.

"Did you, Lucifer Milton, just invite me to a convention?" Sam asked again a little louder and a little sharper.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess," Lucifer said. He shrugged again. "I mean, if it's not your thing-"

"I've always wanted to go to a Con before, are you kidding me?" Sam said.

"Seriously?" Lucifer asked.

"Really!" Sam said, practically turning his full body so he could face Lucifer. "I've always wanted to go to Debby Con in Chicago."

"Seriously?" Lucifer asked again, but in a completely different tone of voice. He turned to face Sam. "You like _The Journey of Debora_?"

"Man, I love it," Sam said.

"Me too!" Lucifer said. His eyes got huge. He suddenly started to laugh and threw himself back into his chair. "Man, I had such a crush on Debora when I was younger."

"Me too," Sam said. "And Barack."

"Duh, of course Barack," Lucifer said with a scoff, rolling his eyes. Sam laughed a little.

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but then one of the event organizers stepped up.

"Well, this was a great competition this year," the woman said. "We've had everything totaled, and we'll tell you who the two teams are who are going on at the end, but for now, we're going to hand out some awards for best lawyers and best witness each round."

Sam settled back. This was always fun. He expected to win best witness for at least one of the rounds. They did best lawyer and witness for each specific trial, and then the best overall for each round, and then the best of all for the entire competition.

They started to go through the first set. Sam wasn't even surprised when he was called up for the previous day's best witness. He was surprised when he got called up for the best witness for the previous night.

He numbly walked back up to the stage to get his certificate. He could vaguely hear Dean shouting and stomping his feet. Sam would have been embarrassed if he had been able to feel anything at all. He was still numb when he sat back down.

He was still numb when he name got called for the best witness for his round that morning. Dean was patting Sam's back when he went and sat back down after that. Sam was actually relieved when they called for Ruby Cortes as the overall winner for the second round.

Sam and Ruby had bonded the previous year. She was sharp and mean and determined. He knew she was good, really good. He actually felt even more honored when he realized that he'd actually beat her out the previous night.

"And now, for best Witness, local competitions," the speaker said.

"You got it," Dean whispered in Sam's ear.

"No, I don't," Sam said.

"Ruby Cortes," the speaker announced. Sam heard Dean groan behind him, but Sam started clapping.

Ruby waved and winked at Sam when she went up and got her award while her teammates went nuts. Sam could practically feel Dean sulking behind him, but he didn't care. He was amazed he'd done so well, and what he really wanted is to win as a lawyer the next year.

"You did a good job," Lucifer told Sam while the announcer went on to announce the scholarship award. It went to a senior who was headed off the law school the next year, as it always did.

"Thanks," Sam said back quietly. He flashed Lucifer a smile. He really was very happy. He didn't know if they'd win their next round or not, or even if they'd make it into the next round, but he was happy.

* * *

_Mephis chewed on his bottom lip. He did it for a reason. He did it because when Alexander saw (as he did now) what Mephis was doing, then he'd reach out and gently pluck Mephis's bottom lip from his teeth._

" _Don't chew it off," Alexander teased, rubbing his thumb over Mephis's bottom lip. Mephis flashed him a sharp grin._

" _It can stand more than a little nibble."_

" _You could still hurt yourself," Alexander said, though neither of them really believed that. Mephis watched Alexander eye his lips and then look up to meet Mephis's gaze, and blush. Mephis grinned a little wider and toothier. He liked it when Alexander got so shy after getting so bold._

" _You always bite it harder than I do."_

" _Do not," Alex wined a little, getting even redder._

" _Wanna bet?" Mephis asked with a big grin._

" _Tease," Alex said and leaned in, placing a soft kiss on Mephis's bottom lip._

" _You like it," Mephis said. He drew Alex into another kiss. It was still soft, but Mephis knew how to play Alex just right so Alex would nibble on his bottom lip, and give Mephis the rougher kind of kisses that he really liked, but Alex was normally too shy to give. And really, Mephis liked it like that._

\- Anon: "Mephixander, bottom lip" prompt, ficlet written by Samallamin, July 2013


	12. Chapter 12

Sam knew he shouldn't feel so bad about it. He'd gotten three awards. His team had gotten on to go to the next round and compete and they'd done really well. Also, Sam's classes were picking up and he still had a ton of fic left to write and he really didn't have time to be doing mock trial. But that didn't mean that he was happy about having lost that last round.

He looked down at his word count and let out a sigh. He was actually doing really well and all. He really needed to write more, but he'd been writing all day because he was bored about not having anything to do. Suddenly having so much space in his schedule made him feel a little antsy.

He picked up his phone and pulled up Lucifer's number.

*Want to go do something?* Sam sent. He really didn't even have time to think about it before he sent it. He nearly panicked for a moment, but then his phone dinged to show there was a response.

*I'm working right now* Lucifer's text appeared really fast for someone who was working.

*Why do I not believe that?*

*Probably because I'm eating it right now and I'm desperate for a distraction* Sam grinned at the response. It sounded like the place Sam was now.

*I just hit about three times my word count for today and I'm going out of my mind with boredom. Can I come distract you? PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE?*

It took about a minute before Lucifer replied. Sam liked to imagine that the reason it even took so long was that Lucifer was busy laughing. The idea of Lucifer laughing cheered Sam a lot.

*Okay. I'm working on a picture. I need a model. Can you come sit for me? We can chit chat or something. Seems like it would make it go a lot faster. Deal?*

*Fantastic. Where we did our last little art project?*

*Yep. Ten minutes*

*On my way.*

Sam grinned and stuffed his phone in his pocket. He grabbed his wallet, ID card, and jacket and then went and knocked on Alfie and Sammy's door.

"Hullo? Is anyone there?"

"Hold on," Alfie called. A minute later he pulled the door open. He had the dreamy look on his face he got when he was talking about his boyfriend. There was also a smell about the room.

"Oh Lord, did you just have phone sex?" Sam groaned. He took a breath from the hall and then stepped in to open Alfie's window and air the room out a bit before Samandriel could come back.

"Possibly," Alfie said, throwing himself back on the bed.

"I thought you two weren't… you know…" Sam shrugged and went rooting around the in the little fridge Alfie kept to grab some juice pouches. "You got any more for the almond bars?"

"Yeah," Alfie said, going and getting two and handing them to Sam. "And we're not, not yet anyway."

"Isn't this-" Sam made some vague gesture.

"Uh, it was a new thing," Alfie said. "I just told him what I wanted to do with him, in long loving detail and it sort of fell together after that." He flopped down on his bed and started to lounge.

"Uh, yeah, okay," Sam said. "Thanks for these," he said and headed out.

Sam walked quickly to the art building and down the stairs to the studio where Lucifer was. Sam wasn't too surprised to find no one there but Lucifer. Lucifer tended to be able to glare at people and made them run away. He was sprawled out on the sofa the room and he'd flung himself on it all sprawl limbed, one arm over his eyes.

"Lucifer?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Lucifer said like he'd been almost napping. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Being frustrated," Lucifer said, scrubbing his hands over his face. He looked over at Sam and sighed. "What's with the juice pouches?"

"Payback for you buying me lemonade," Sam said. He walked to the sofa and plopped down next to Lucifer. He offered Lucifer a juice pouch and an almond butter bar.

"Thanks," Lucifer said. He used his teeth to tear into the packaging and then he started eating like a man who hadn't seen food in a while. Sam thought it was one of the hottest things he'd ever seen in his life.

"Um," Sam said, trying to make his brain work. He set his almond bar aside and worked on getting the straw into his juice pouch. "Are you hungry?"

"Forgot lunch," Lucifer said, devouring his bar until it was gone. Sam offered Lucifer his own. "I don't need you to give me yours."

"It's okay," Sam said. "I had a big lunch."

"Okay," Lucifer said. With no more protest he ripped the second bar's packaging open with his teeth again.

Sam sipped his juice and watched Lucifer eat. He wondered if he should have bothered Alfie for more snacks, but it was a little late to fix that. Lucifer decimated the second snack bar and then the juice pouch all before Sam finished his juice pouch.

"Thanks," Lucifer said.

"Why did you skip lunch?" Sam asked.

"I forgot about it," Lucifer said.

"Why? Do you have a project due?" It was heading into midterm season soon.

"Nah, I'm ahead on all of that. No. It's… I've got a commission and it's giving me trouble," Lucifer grumbled.

"Ah," Sam said, perking up a bit. It surprised him to learn that Lucifer was kind of a dork like him. Well, not like him. Lucifer was still far above him, but it made Sam think of fanart commissions. "What's the problem?"

"I haven't gotten all the information yet. Like the project this person needs the piece for… it looks really, really big, you know?" Lucifer said. "They've released some stuff about it and I get the rest in a few weeks. And I don't have to start working on it yet, but I'm very excited about it is all."

"So what are you doing?" Sam asked.

"Right now, it's just character design I'm trying to work on," Lucifer explained. "So yeah, I could use a model for one of the leads. Would you be okay with that?"

"That… that sounds so cool! Yeah, I'd love that! Do you need to take pictures or something?" Sam asked. Being drawn by Lucifer? Well, it wasn't Sam's fault that his mom and Dean loved watching _Titanic_. Maybe it was his fault that he'd had fantasies of Lucifer drawing him like one of his French girls… but this, it was definitely a dream come true.

"I'd really prefer a bunch of sketches," Lucifer said. "And I might need to observe you more than once, as the project progresses. Would that be okay?"

"More than. It sounds like fun," Sam said. He knew he was practically beaming.

"You certain?" Lucifer asked, looking a little skeptical. "I might need you to, well, I don't need a nude model, but I might need to get sketches of your body as well as your face and if I can get sketches of you wearing… well, a lot less, then it means I'll get a better idea of muscles and stuff. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet or what the project is going to be yet, so I just want to be sure I've got all my bases covered."

"I… you really do you to draw me like one of your French girls," Sam said, blinking in more than mild shock. Then Lucifer cracked up and Sam realized what he's actually said. "Oh god!"

"No, no," Lucifer said, laughing a little. Sam hid his face in his hands. His face felt so hot, as well it should for asking something that stupid out loud.

"I am so sorry!" Sam said.

"No need to be sorry," Lucifer said. Sam peaked through his fingers and saw that the annoyance and tension that had been on Lucifer's face when Sam arrived that disappeared, replaced with a luminous smile.

"Dean loves that movie. I must have seen it a million times because he played it so often when we were still in school," Sam explained, slowly lowering his hands.

"Now I'm going to have to draw you like one of my French girls," Lucifer said and grinned while biting his lower lip.

It was absolutely the most adorable thing Sam had ever seen in his life and his brain fritzed out. He reached down and pulled off his shirt.

"Shit! I was joking, I didn't mean now!" Lucifer said in a panicked voice. Sam's face was still hot, but suddenly Lucifer was blushing too. And it wasn't a light pink dusting or anything like it. No, this was a full and completely un-hide-able blush.

"You're blushing," Sam teased with a smirk on his face. He kicked off his sneakers and pulled off his socks.

"I am not," Lucifer grumbled. "Sam, we don't have to do this."

"Yeah, but you need it for your sketches," Sam said. He pulled off his pants but carefully kept on his boxers. He stepped out of his pants and kicked them out of the way. He held out his arms and did a little spin so Lucifer could see. "See? Undies. No problem."

"Yeah," Lucifer said quietly. He got up and got his sketch pad. He pulled up a plastic chair and sat down and opened the book. "Just stand there until I tell you to sit down."

"Yes, sir," Sam said, still smirking. He saluted. Lucifer looked up and gave Sam a dark glare.

"And don't move."

Sam laughed, a full belly laugh. "Yes, sir." Once he stopped laughing so hard he endeavored to stay still. He still couldn't help but giggle a little here and there.

Lucifer looked amazing when he was concentrating. He leaned toward the pad of paper and he pulled his legs up to his chest. He flicked his eyes between the model, Sam, and the pad of paper. His fingers flew across the paper. Sam realized that he could do this for all of his life. This was what he'd wanted when he'd gone to all those tutoring sessions with Lucifer.

At one point he'd dreamed of Lucifer telling him his art was good, in a bohemian way or something. He dreamed of being an art couple or something equally silly as that. But Sam didn't like drawing. It didn't appeal to him. Writing could be a chore, but it was like being snared by a siren. He couldn't but go back to it, no matter how it hurt, no matter how hard it was. He had to write.

But art was that thing he did to make Lucifer like him. It always felt petty and gross.

It made sense that Sam wouldn't have been able to be around Lucifer in a friendly way until he gave up on him. Their relationship, whatever it was, hopefully a budding friendship, it was clean. Sam wasn't spending the whole time trying to subtly flirt or get Lucifer's attention. He had Lucifer's attention. He had his time. Sam wasn't just praying for a glance. He was actively participating in a relationship. He did things for Lucifer and Lucifer did things for him. And Lucifer seemed to like being around him.

And Lucifer was still as beautiful as he'd always been. But he didn't feel like a piece of art in a museum. He felt reachable, touchable. He felt human. He was a grumpy guy stuck with younger kids because he'd taken time off to travel. He wanted people to be serious about studies when other people just wanted to kick back and relax. He cared so much about his work.

And for a little while Sam was very, very lucky to be a part of it.

"You're smiling," Lucifer said, glancing up at Sam and then back down.

"Yeah, maybe," Sam said.

"You don't have to be totally quiet for this, you know," Lucifer said.

"You know, I don't think I ever thought I'd be a model for anything," Sam said.

"I don't see why not," Lucifer said. "You have a beautiful body and a beautiful face, very symmetrical features." Lucifer was drawing and not looking at Sam, which Sam thought was good luck because he was certain he was red all over now. He also realized he had the worst luck ever because if he popped a boner now there'd be no way to hide it.

"Yeah," Sam said, clearing his throat a bit. He did his best to sound as noncommittal as possible.

"I mean it," Lucifer said. "You're an ideal, not a Greek ideal, of course, that would involve more waifishness and a small penis." Lucifer glanced at Sam and then cracked up laughing.

"You're a huge dick, has anyone ever told you that?" Sam grumbled. He wanted to cover himself up. It wasn't easy, but he forced himself to stay very still as Lucifer's pencil was still flying over the paper.

"Everyone, everyday, all the time," Lucifer said and winked as he continued to sketch.

The conversation died there. Well, it didn't so much die as simply become silence. Sam normally felt like a dead silence was uncomfortable. But this wasn't dead. He couldn't really think of anything to say, but it didn't feel like that was something terrible.

He smiled a little, remembering all the times he was in art tutoring with Lucifer and how much he couldn't even listen to what Lucifer was saying because Sam was too busy being afraid of not being able to say anything at all.

"Am I holding still enough?" Sam finally asked. It was just kind of hard to hold still for a long time.

"You're doing great, Sam," Lucifer said, not even looking up from his pad.

"If you say so," Sam said. He didn't feel like he was doing too well. He was certain it really hadn't been all that long, but it also felt like he'd been standing there for hours. He wished there was a clock somewhere in his view but he didn't dare move his head to look. He didn't know what Lucifer needed exactly, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to get back exactly into the position if he moved even a little bit.

"You're getting tense, Sam," Lucifer said, smiling a little. He glanced up and Sam caught a look of ice blue eyes through those silly black glasses he wore.

"Sorry," Sam said, relaxing his shoulders. His body ached a little, and he figured that it was probably from how tight he'd been holding himself, and not that he wasn't moving around much.

"I get it," Lucifer said. "Being a model is hard. But I don't need you to be perfect, I just need you to be there so I can get some idea of your body."

"Okay," Sam said. He made himself relax. He shifted a bit and actually changed the way he was standing. It made him feel a lot better, like he could actually breathe.

"Remember to bend your knees or you might pass out," Lucifer said. Sam scowled. He wished that he could say that he did know better than to lock his knees, that he wasn't going to pass out, but his knees had been locked.

"Did you draw models a lot in Paris?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but I also modeled," Lucifer said, focusing back on his paper.

"What?" Sam asked, nearly tipping over with surprise.

"I know I said you could relax, but I need you to stand up a little straighter," Lucifer said, glancing up at Sam for only a second.

"Sorry," Sam said, straightening up. "But really, you modeled?"

"I had a guy, and a woman," Lucifer said. "The woman was older. She had some really amazing work and she was used to drawing female nudes. So I paid her for lessons in modeling sessions."

Now Sam really was in trouble. He thought of Lucifer spread out over a fainting couch, a painter's tarp over the couch, in some bare rough top apartment that looked out over some famous Paris landmark. And Lucifer would stretch and shift, keeping his arms behind his head so the painter could see all over him, one leg hanging off so it touch the floor. A smirk would be on his face and his eyes would be sharp.

And Sam needed to stop thinking about that immediately.

"What about the guy?" Sam asked, swallowing a bit.

"Younger, not a lot, just a year. We gave each other art critique. I draw him and he drew me. It was good practice. Although I'm certain I've got whole notebooks just filled with his body."

And now Sam really didn't need to be picturing that. He didn't need to feel jealous. He and Lucifer weren't dating or anything. They weren't even friends. Not really good friends. They were just friendly. Still…

"Were you two together?" Sam heard himself asking.

"Hmm? Yeah, me and Jean," Lucifer said. "It was just an overseas romance, of course. Mostly, at the end, I found myself just sleeping with him so I could get practice at drawing sleeping naked people." He said it like it was a joke, but Sam didn't feel like it was.

"So, you are gay, then?" Sam asked.

"And you're straighty straight pants?" Lucifer asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm bi… ish?" Sam asked. He shrugged a bit and Lucifer suddenly started furiously sketching in a different corner of his paper. "Like, I mean, I can look at a girl and go "wow, this person is beautiful". And sometimes I see a girl and I know I'm attracted. But it's like… I don't know. I don't like any of them enough to have to deal with people saying I'm not really attracted to men because I'm dating a girl, or getting my mom's hopes up, you know? Nah. It's just easier to stick to dick."

Lucifer snorted a bit and Sam shot him a glare. "No, I can get that," Lucifer said quickly. He slowed his furious pencil movements to something calmer. He looked at Sam for a moment, running his eyes over him before he looked back at the page. "I've been with women, including the woman I used to model for. And I can get excited about it at that moment, but later it's like "eh, that wasn't a big deal". And I get over whatever excitement I had so fast. But with men? No, that sticks longer for me."

"But of course if you tell people they get up in arms," Sam said, "all that gold star gay bullshit."

"Exactly," Lucifer said, snorting. "I mean, I'm gay. That's what I think of myself. That's how I see myself. That I occasionally look at a woman and go "wow, hot", that doesn't invalidate how I see myself. That I've tried it with women and decided that wasn't for me doesn't make my attractions just go away."

"But so many people think it does," Sam concluded. He'd never even been with a woman, but he wanted to have the option to try without it being a big deal. He didn't even want to actually be with a woman. He just wished people didn't care so much.

"It really is the bullshit highway," Lucifer said with a heavy sigh. He dropped the pad a bit and looked at Sam. "Okay, you can sit down."

"How do you want me?" Sam asked, plopping down onto the hideous purple sofa. His legs instantly groaned their thanks at him getting off of them.

"Eh, hold on," Lucifer said. He put his pad and pence down in his chair and got up, walking over. "Are you okay with me touching you?"

"Yeah, it's fine," Sam said.

Lucifer walked over and started to manipulate Sam. He spread Sam's legs a bit and pulled him out so he was leaning back against the back rest a bit more. Then he spread Sam's arms so they were out, resting against the back of the sofa.

"I feel like a major douche," Sam said, wondering if maybe Lucifer could actually see his balls peeking out in his boxer legs.

"Yes, well it lets me see a better spread of your body," Lucifer said, "and yes, it does look swaggerlicious, but I think I might need that too."

"Okay," Sam said. It certainly was, at least momentarily, more comfortable than how he'd been posed before. When he thought about it, this way, Lucifer could easily get an idea of what he'd look like with his arms out, but also about how he looked sitting.

"You're a good model," Lucifer said once he was back on his stool and had begun sketching again.

"I'm probably only vaguely acceptable," Sam said.

"I wasn't kidding before. You have a very attractive body. And it's… easier, in many ways, to draw beautiful people. It's our nature to want to make things beautiful. Now I'm not having to worry about trying to make the person I'm drawing look better than real life. I just have to get what you look like."

"Uh, thanks," Sam said, blushing a little.

"Would you mind if we did this another day? I mean, this is a great body study, but I really, really want to do a face study one day."

"Ah, yeah, sure, I can do that," Sam said.

"Really?" Lucifer asked. His pencil stopped and he looked at Sam. He had this hopefully little smile on his mouth and Sam just felt his heart skip. How could anyone look so very masculine and male and yet so very precious at the exact same time?

"Of course," Sam said.

"You don't mind me using you in my art?" Lucifer asked.

"I'm already posing for you," Sam pointed out.

"No, I mean… when you get that many sketches, that close up… It means that I might use the reference in more than one piece. Are you okay with that?" Lucifer asked. He nervously licked his lips.

Sam licked his lips too. He'd my lying to say that he hadn't hoped and dreamed to be Lucifer's… muse, or something similar. Of course that wasn't where they were, not at all. But to maybe appear in Lucifer's art, years in the future. He wanted to have that kind of effect on Lucifer's life.

"Y-yeah, I'm okay with that."

"Are you certain?" Lucifer asked with a very serious tone.

"I am," Sam said with as much confidence as he could draw up.

"Okay then," Lucifer said. He settled back into his sketching.

Once again they steeled into silence. Sam was okay with that. He closed his eyes for a few minutes, listening to the gentle scratching of the pencil. It was soothing. He wondered if Lucifer would have drawn his body after sex. He wasn't sure if he was embarrassed to be jealous of the just who got used literally for his body, or if he should be sad that he would have accepted that roll in Lucifer's life. Sam let out a sigh.

"You still awake there?" Lucifer asked.

Sam cracked one eye and smiled a bit. "Yep, wide awake."

"Uh-huh," Lucifer said, wearing a fond smile. "So, why don't you tell me about your writer's block?"

Sam groaned and dropped his head back.

"Head up," Lucifer said.

"Okay, okay," Sam mumbled and brought his head back up. "I'm just stuck, okay? It's really that I'm bored. I've been cramming this all in around... well, everything. And suddenly I've got all this time and it's like… I've been keeping up with my word count to start with and suddenly I've done like 10k a few days in a row, which is great, but I'm also so tired of it right now and so stuck and I want to be done soooo damn much and I can't wait until rough drafts are due so I can be done," Sam grumbled.

"Is this an assignment?" Lucifer asked.

"I wish," Sam muttered. "No, but It's just… I don't know what to do exactly next. I'm just at this odd transition period in the story."

"Well… what's going on?" Lucifer asked, pausing his pencil and actually looking up at Sam, clearly curious.

"Well, ah… if you keep drawing I'll tell you," Sam said. He didn't want Lucifer's whole focus on him, not like that.

"Deal," Lucifer said, looking back down at his paper.

"Well, where I'm stuck is the big turning point. The two characters are in a sexual relationship, and one of the characters is desperately in love with the other, and the other is falling for the first. And all that's good, but things are about to break down, because right now their relationship is built on lies. And they have to have this huge fight, not the one that breaks them up, but a huge fight… and basically I've had this uncomfortable scene and I'm bridging it with a bit of fluff, something to ease people before I get to the painful scene."

"And you're having trouble writing the fluff?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah, because I need it to not just be fluff, but an actual bonding moment," Sam said. "I need the guy who's falling in love to see something in the first guy to give him a reason to love him back."

"So that he wants to hold on when things get bad," Lucifer said.

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, this is where you need your save the cat moment," Lucifer said.

"Um… my what?" Sam asked.

"Haven't you read that book? _Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You'll Ever Need_? Tell me you've at least heard of it," Lucifer said, looking and sounding appalled.

"Well, I'm not planning on doing screenwriting. I'm guessing you only know about it because Gabriel is studying film?" Sam suggested, raising his eyebrows.

"Okay, maybe, but still, you are a writer, you should have heard of it," Lucifer said, sounding like a petulant child. Sam smiled a little. It was actually pretty cute.

"Well, now I have. So tell me what a "Save the Cat" moment is," Sam said.

"In a script, when you introduce a lead, especially one that will do morally questionable things, you need to have a "save the cat" moment, where they do something really good so that people will care about them."

"So, like saving a cat?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, but it can be… subtler? The writer gave an example where a cop is on a stakeout about to get all these guys, and he sees one of the guys he's trying to catch, a small time criminal, has his son with him when the raids and about to happen. He silently motions for the guy to leave, and doesn't arrest him. So you like him because you realize that he will do things that are good even if it goes outside of the law a little," Lucifer explained.

Sam nodded and thought about Mephis. He didn't want to contrive something where he'd suddenly save someone because that wasn't really like him.

"Just," Lucifer said, breaking Sam out of his thoughts. "Is the character good at something that there's no way for the other guy to know about or even expect?"

Sam felt a little like he'd been hit by the idea baseball bat. In the books Mephis and his family dabble around with art and music. Mephis plays the piano because Beelz tells him to, but when they're in school and in art class, Mephis always feels free to be himself. It always reminded Sam of him and writing. It didn't have to be good, although he would like for it to be, but what was on the page was so very Sam's own work that it was amazing.

And he thought of Lucifer as a model… maybe he could give that scene to Alexander. Maybe he could flirt and tease and try to get Mephis to stop drawing him, maybe try to distract him, but then Alex realizes that Mephis is so focused in what he's doing that he can't even notice anything else.

It would be amazing.

"Did that clear things up for you?" Lucifer asked with a little smirk.

"Yes, it did," Sam said. "Um…"

"Yeah, I got enough," Lucifer said, though he was still sketching. Sam didn't move.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's enough to begin some rough sketches. I don't get the references for a bit anyway, a few more weeks, you know?" Lucifer said and shrugged. He closed his sketch pad and set it and his pencil aside. He stood up and stretched.

"Thank you!" Sam said. He hopped up and started jumping into his clothes, trying to get dressed and get home before the idea flew out of his ears.

"You're welcome, Sam," Lucifer said, smiling a little. "Have fun with your thing, okay?"

"Yeah," Sam said, hoping up and down as he tried to get his jeans up. He quickly zipped and buttoned and then threw on his shirt and started to try and wrestle his shoes on while he was still standing up.

Lucifer laughed and lightly pushed Sam so Sam lost his balance and had to sit down or fall down.

"The hell was that for?" Sam demanded.

"Put your shoes on. You tie one and I'll tie the other and you won't fall down and crack your skull. Good Deal?" Lucifer asked wearing a far too smirksome smile.

"Yeah, fine," Sam grumbled. He pulled his shoes on. He pulled one foot up onto the seat so he could tie it and left the other on the floor, letting Lucifer tie to his heart's content. They finished about the same time.

Lucifer helped Sam up and handed him his jacket which Sam pulled on quickly.

"Thanks," Sam said hurriedly.

"You're welcome, go write," Lucifer said.

"Yeah, and Lucifer, seriously go eat something, you gotta take care of yourself," Sam said, flashing a grin before he raced out and up the stairs.

He felt like he was floating as he jogged back to the dorms. He had a great idea to go with. And somehow he'd been able to be mostly naked in front of Lucifer and not only not pop a boner, but have real, actual conversation with him. And Lucifer called him beautiful.

Okay, sure he said it the way you'd compliment a painting or a statue, but it was a lot more than he'd had even a few hours ago. Sam was calling this one a big win.

* * *

_Alex shifted a bit to get settled onto the antique fainting couch. He really loved how Mephis had insisted on this ridiculous seduction technique or whatever it was, and then thrown a painter's tarp over the thing so Alex wouldn't get ass and genital sweat on Mephis's grandmother's fainting couch._

" _Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls?" Alex asked with a coy smile to cover how both very annoyed and very amused he was by having to do this. He wasn't going to let Mephis get the wrong idea about this. It was a cold pain in the ass._

" _You bet I am," Mephis said with a wink as he cracked open his sketch book._

" _Just don't make my ass look too big," Alex said. Of course, with his luck, Mephis would just draw a damn stick figure or something._

" _Like I can actually see your ass to draw it right now. Unless you want to roll over…"_

" _No, I'm good," Alex muttered. "No face though."_

" _Yeah, I know," Mephis said, waving his hand dismissively at Alex before he put his pencil to the paper._

_After that it became oddly silent. Alex had expected some instruction on what to do. This was a dirty picture. Didn't he need to be hard for this? Well, maybe he just needed to get the body outline first._

_Mephis had been so specific about the way he wanted Alex to sprawl. He was leaning back against arm/back/thing of the chair with his arms up over his head, holding onto the edge of the arm/back/thing. His legs were sprawled, one up with his foot on the couch. The other dangled off the edge. The pose showed off the maximum amount of balls, so he needed to be hard for… whatever this was, right?_

" _Okay, you can put your arms down for now," Mephis said. "But try to keep them off your chest."_

" _Got it, captain," Alex said, giving Mephis a salute. Mephis didn't even raise an eyebrow._

_So Mephis had clearly finished drawing his arms, which was great because they'd been starting to fall asleep. But where was Mephis drawing? His chest, still? He started to feel nervous. He pushed his back into the chair a little. Should he be touching himself now? Was this one of those games that he played where Mephis wouldn't tell him anything and Alex was just expected to know? Because Alex had made his position on those types of games very, very clear._

_Alex felt his gut clench up when he realized that Mephis was just staring at him, looking him slowly up and down. Alex felt like he was the meat about to be served to the lion. Logically he knew that Mephis wasn't going to do anything bad to him. But emotionally, Alex was a little freaked out._

_He reached down and started to stroke himself. He didn't know what else to do. This was a dirty picture and Mephis was looking at him so expectantly. Alex closed his eyes and tried to think of things that turned him on._

_More and more those things were Mephis. And that was becoming a problem._

" _What are you doing?" Alex heard Mephis ask. Alex opened his eyes and looked at Mephis who was staring at him with confusion. "Did you get bored?"_

" _I… isn't this… what you want?" Alex asked, who was feeling about as confused as Mephis was looking._

" _I want you to keep your hands off your chest and stomach and not change the composition of things while I'm drawing. I want you to try and stay as still as you can while I'm sketching you so I can get this right."_

" _Oh," Alex said, realizing that this was an actual sketch session. Alex was basically one of those 18 year old college students who take their clothes off in an art class for the students to sketch. Hell, as far as Mephis probably cared, Alex could be anyone else._

" _Oh?" Mephis asked._

" _Yeah, sorry, miscommunication, I'm good now," Alex said, letting go of himself and dropping both of his arms back to the side._

" _Good," Mephis said and went back to what he was doing._

_Alex could hardly believe the concentration he saw on Mephis's face. Did he ever look at anything or anyone like that? Would he ever look at Alex like that? Alex quickly swallowed down that notion. It was bad enough that he was sleeping his way to the next rung in the ladder. The last thing he needed was to be the stupid mistress who fell for the boss she was banging. Or he, in this case._

\- "The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Chapter 23


	13. Chapter 13

Alfie was sort of stunned at how fast the weeks slipped by. Sam was racing toward his Big Bang deadline, and had essentially locked everyone who wasn't Matt at bedtime out of the room. When poked with a stick like a rabid bear, Sam would snap about how he'd discovered a new plot thread that was going to extend the story at least 20k. Alfie wished him luck and decided not to dwell on it.

He also didn't want to dwell on whatever in the hell Samandriel was doing with Gabriel. They were back together, but it was so such a tentative mess. Alfie knew he was being a shitty brother, especially with how much Sammy and Matty had put up with while he was following James around with a lovesick heart. Still, Alfie really didn't want to deal with Samandriel's problems.

The only thing that Alfie was caring about right now was getting to his meeting spot on time. Tonight was the first night that Alfie was going over to James's place. He was equal parts excited and terrified. What if James didn't like how he did things? What if Alfie went too fast and wrecked it? Or worse, what if he went too slow and it was ended?

The past months had been perfect, way too perfect and it made Alfie very nervous. He didn't normally have stuff just click into place like this. And while he knew logically that some day they would have a fight and probably a big fight if they were together long enough, he also had trouble believing that once that fight happened that they wouldn't be over.

He walked to the parking lot where he'd be meeting James. He had his book bag, which really just had a change of clothes and toiletries and nothing else. But if James let him borrow one of his books, Alfie also wanted to carry it home in something he could actually use to protect it. Even if the type of academic books James probably had weren't sinfully expensive, they were still one of James's books and Alfie didn't want to get it even a little bit messed up.

Alfie grinned when he saw James's 2002 Honda Civic pull into the parking lot. Alfie waved a little and walked over, stopping so the car could stop, and so he wouldn't make James nervous. Then he climbed into the front passenger's seat and tossed his bag over his head into the back seat.

"I would have waited for you to open the back door and toss that in," James said with an amused smile.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have," Alfie said with a grin.

"Thought as much," James said. "Seat belt."

Alfie knew James wasn't going anywhere until Alfie had his seat belt on, so Alfie buckled in. James nodded in approval and started to ease out of the parking lot. Alfie cast furtive glances over at his boyfriend. He could tell that James had recently gotten out of the shower and blow dried his hair because his hair wasn't damp, but he smelled like his shampoo still. His moustache was neatly, neatly brushed. Alfie grinned at the idea of mussing that up. His clothes looked nice, but still comfortable.

In other words, James was comfortable with him, but he still wanted to impress. Hopefully that meant that James would screw him into the mattress later that evening. And that thought cheered Alfie enough to make him hum along with the radio, which was some classical thing on NPR.

James really did live very close to campus. It was a nice little house too. Alfie vaguely remembered when his parents had hosted something at Dr. Haggerty's house when he was a kid. That place had been nice too. James had probably sold his old house. Hopefully someone had been willing to buy it. Probably the Miltons. They bought everything around there. No idea what they did with it, but Alfie almost didn't care. He cared just a little because it had belonged to James. But he didn't care that much because James lived here, and here was where they'd have sex for the first time, and this was where they'd share a billion kisses while they were together and this was where James would tell him that he loved him for the first time. Alfie was certain of these things, just like he was certain that he'd get a key to James's place some day. And that maybe he'd one day actually be asked to move in.

James's home was two stories, tan with a brown roof and had a little porch with a set of stairs. It looked modern enough to be pleasing on the outside (at least it didn't look like a grandma house), but also looked a little more classic. Very Americana, and just seeing the outside of the house as they pulled up, even in the dark, made Alfie smile. It was very James.

"Home sweet home," James said, parking his car.

"What's with the little brick pillars outside?" Alfie asked as he climbed out of the car.

"This house used to be a home that was converted into a business. You've notice I have a parking lot and not a garage," James pointed out with a little laugh. "I had the sign taken down, but I haven't had the pillars removed yet."

"Ah, well I hope you've got all your boxes unpacked," Alfie said.

James took him up through the front door. Alfie's heart ached and fluttered a little. He sniffed the air when he got in. It smelled of a certain amount of age, but mostly of James and cookies.

"You baked," Alfie said with a grin.

"That I did," James said, shutting the door behind them and locking it. He toed off his shoes and left them by the door, so Alfie did the same and then followed James back. He looked around curiously. James led him into the kitchen.

"Wow!" Alfie said. A lot of houses near Washburn had tiny little kitchens so that the rooms could be bigger, but this kitchen had plenty of space and an island, which Alfie actually already liked.

"You approve?" James teased.

"Of your kitchen anyway," Alfie said, setting his bag down so he could look around. "You are going to let me use it soon, yes?"

"Yes, of course, and I'll even endeavor to stay out of your way," James said with an amused smile.

"You better," Alfie said. He'd already informed his boyfriend hat he was kind of an awful person when he was cooking. He'd say anything and everything to get people out of his space when he was trying to concentrate on a recipe, no matter how simple it was. Mostly, people learned not to come near him and his caustic tongue when he was cooking.

He didn't really want to say something awful to James, so it was just better to keep him away when Alfie was cooking, but Alfie also wanted to make him a nice meal at some point. Or maybe he just wanted to play in the kitchen. Probably both.

"So, can I get a tour?" Alfie asked.

"Of course, right this way," James said, leading Alfie out to see the rest of the house.

It was a nice place, someplace with space for two people. It really was too big for just one man. Technically it was a three bedroom house, but only one of them was used as a bedroom. The other was a study and the third was a truly impressive library that Alfie meant to drool over later. The only thing that made Alfie wrinkle his nose was that some of the rooms were wood paneled, which was such a grandma thing to have. When Alfie said as such James laughed so richly that Alfie found himself forgetting about the wall completely.

The one thing that made Alfie sad was that they didn't actually stay in the bedroom. Instead he was conducted back to the kitchen. "I made dinner, we should eat it," James said, clearly having seen Alfie's disappointed face.

"You are letting me stay over, right?" Alfie asked. James turned a bit red. Normally Alfie liked that, but not it made him feel very nervous.

"I had thought… maybe, or something. I know you have certain… expectations of me and-" James started but Alfie made a hand motion and cut him off.

"If it's okay if you're not ready, alright? I can wait. I will wait. That being said, I also do really want to sleep with my hot boyfriend," Alfie said. James got a bit redder, but that did make Alfie smile.

"I would like to have you stay over," James said and then cleared his throat. He was very red faced, but he was also trying to speak properly. "But we don't necessarily have to have sex, okay?"

"Would you be opposed to us having sex tonight?" Alfie asked.

"Not… not really," James said with an abashed sort of smile.

"Are you nervous?" Alfie used his best gentle tone.

"Undoubtedly," James admitted.

Alfie drew him in and hugged him, placing a kiss on his cheek. James's arms were soon around him, returning the hug. Alfie sighed and relaxed into that embrace. "It's okay. I'm nervous too, but I so still want to be with you. And if you're too nervous for us to do anything tonight… well maybe we can just do fully clothed cuddles and fall asleep in your bed."

That thought got him blushing. It was just so sweet. He was so very screwed. He loved sex, but he was realizing that he'd be totally, totally happy with cuddles and kisses and just waiting for this man to be ready for him. He knew he was smiling sappily because James just kissed him soundly. He always got those type of kisses when he got a sappy smile on his face.

"Maybe, but I would like to try. After dinner," James added, slowly pulling away to set the table.

"Yeah, you slaved away over a hot stove, it's only fair," Alfie said. He helped James get the island set and he held the plates while James got spaghetti onto plates.

It wasn't exactly the candlelight dinner of Alfie's dreams, nor was it James's old house, as Alfie had always imagined. But it was real and they held hands during the meal so it couldn't have been more perfect.

Alfie did the dishes while James put the leftover up. And then James fed him still warm chocolate chip, raisin and walnut cookies that had Alfie begging for the recipe. They traded kisses and cookie pieces and licked chocolate off each other's fingers and laughed as they headed for the bedroom.

James picked up Alfie's bag on the way through and dropped it in the corner of his room when they arrived. Alfie bit his lip when he grinned and the James dragged him into a kiss.

Alfie wasn't 100% certain what followed except that his shirt was on the floor as were his socks and his pants were unzipped and he'd gotten James out of his button up. He'd gone to pull off James's shirt when the kisses stopped and James's hands gripped his wrists.

"Too fast?" Alfie asked after a minute of silence and trying to remember what words were.

"No- uh, not exactly," James said, his eyes on Alfie's chest. Alfie beamed when James licked his lips in such an unconscious manner. His eyes travelled down and Alfie beamed more because he'd picked a pretty pair of purple and blue lace panties and they were visible with his pants open.

Alfie tugged his hands away and James let him go. Alfie just beamed more and reached for James's shirt again. But the second he touched fabric, James's hands grabbed his wrists against and pulled him from the shirt.

"What's wrong?" Alfie asked, shifting a little. He was frowning now. "Am I… do you feel pressured because I'll stop right now."

"No," James said quickly. He let Alfie's hand go again, but Alfie didn't reach for the shirt again.

"Then what is it?" Alfie asked.

"I… I'm not as young as you," James started.

"Yeah, I know," Alfie said. But he didn't see that as a problem at all. It hadn't been so far. Sure, cultural difference, but he could work with that, and he'd shame anyone who accused his boyfriend of being a dirty old man, and laugh in their faces if they said Alfie was just using him for money or some other stupid shit like that.

"Alfie, you are absolutely beautiful," James said in a very patient manner.

"Why yes, James, I am aware of that," Alfie said, nearly rolling his eyes.

"You're not getting this," James said, sounding a little surprised. He made some vague hand gesture, motioning between the two of them.

"No, I don't get it. Please explain, because I do want to know," Alfie said.

"I'm a lot older than you," James said.

"Yeah, I know that," Alfie said.

"You're not getting it," James said in pure frustration.

"I know that. Please spell it out for me, because I'm not understanding how our ages are now a problem when this has been okay before. Because I'm 20 and there shouldn't be a problem at all," Alfie said. He felt just a touch hysterical. What if James was going to break up with him now? What if he changed his mind? "Please don't make me leave."

"What? No, I'm not going to send you away," James said. He drew Alfie close. Alfie crawled into his lap and buried his face in James's chest.

"Promise?" Alfie asked in a small voice into the shirt.

"I promise," James said, stroking Alfie's hair. Alfie relaxed a little. James running his fingers through his hair felt fantastic. "I'm sorry. You haven't done anything wrong. Please don't worry."

"Well, something's wrong," Alfie said, shifting to look up at James.

"Yeah, I just… Alfie, I'm in my fifties and I look like I am," James said. "And you're young and beautiful and I just… I don't want you to be disappointed.

Alfie looked up with his mouth hanging open. "You're self conscious," Alfie said in alarm.

James turned really red. "Well, those aren't the words I personally would use, but I suppose that is accurate."

"You're self conscious," Alfie said and started to laugh. He pressed his face into James's shirt to try and muffled it.

"It's not funny," James snapped, but he only held Alfie tighter.

"James, I've been so worried that I wouldn't be good enough for you… so yeah, it's funny as fuck that you're worried about the same thing," Alfie said before descending back into giggles.

James chuckled a little. It was weak, but it made Alfie laugh more. "Well, I suppose when you put it that way, it is kind of amusing."

Alfie shifted so he could kiss his boyfriend. He was still giggling, but after a few moments of kisses he was able to stop. He sighed into the kisses, feeling a lot better when he pulled back. James was smiling too.

"Do you trust me?" Alfie asked.

"I do," James said.

"Then lie back, and take off your shirt," Alfie said, climbing out of James's lap.

James looked really uncertain, but he did pull his shirt off and he did lie down. He closed his eyes though, possibly so he couldn't see Alfie's rejection. But Alfie wasn't going to reject him and Alfie wasn't disappointed. He knew that James ran in the morning. He was a fit man, but he was older and so his skin was looser and didn't stick to his muscles like it used to. He had sparse hair of on his chest, and almost none on his stomach.

Alfie grinned down at the sight for a while, just enjoying the view. Then he bent down and placed a kiss on James's stomach. He could feel James's breath hitch. His stomach jumped a little under his lips. Alfie kissed the same spot again and got exactly the same reaction. Alfie's grin just got wider. He knew this was going to be fun.

He nibbled delicately on the same spot and had to grab onto James's hip to keep him from just automatically pulling away. Still, James sat up on his elbows, and Alfie glanced up and him and smirked before he licked a long stripe down his thoroughly delicious tummy.

"Wha-what the devil are you doing?" James demanded.

"Taking advantage of the thoroughly delicious tummy my boyfriend has in order to satisfy my tummy kink," Alfie said. He sucked on that same spot he'd been working on before and James gasped. He stopped when he felt fingers in his hair. Alfie let out a sigh and let James pull him up by his hair a little away from James's chest. The tug really wasn't hard, not near as hard as Alfie liked anyway.

"Excuse me, you're what?"

"Tummy. Kink," Alfie said, and licked his lips. "I have a thing for adorable tummies. And yours is probably the best I've ever seen in my life."

"You're joking, right?" James said, trying to smile weakly. "This is to make me feel better about myself."

"No, James, I love this." He placed his hand on James's stomach and squished. He laughed a little when James's cheeks were suddenly pink.

"Stop that," James chastised. "You can't really mean that."

"Beautiful," Alfie said, getting up so he could look James in the eye. "I really mean this. I really, really like your body. I'm really, really excited to see the rest of it. And I adore your stomach and plan to spend many happy hours kissing and nibbling on it to my heart's content."

James looked at him, searching for a lie. But there wasn't one. Alfie smiled easily and waited for James to figure that out for himself. It didn't actually take that long.

"Do you really mean that?" James asked.

"Yes, I really mean that," Alfie reassured. He gently guided James to lie back down on the bed. He rested one hand on James's stomach, massaging it just a little. "You're a very fit man. And honestly, I like the squish. It means that if I lay my head on your stomach it'll be more comfy. You have any idea how uncomfortable it is to lay on a muscle man. Yuck. No fun. No thank you."

James laughed. That's what Alfie wanted to hear. He bent down and kissed James. It was just a short kiss, but when he pulled back, James was smiling too. Yes, he did look nervous, but he was also smiling.

"Okay, you win," James said.

"Good," Alfie exclaimed and popped back down to suck on James's tummy.

"What- Alfie! N-ah!" James gasped. After that he may have tried to make coherent words, but Alfie couldn't hear them, and James didn't try to stop him. He kept his hand on Alfie's hair, but after a while he just stroked Alfie's hair.

Alfie, for his part, completely went to town. He liked the smell and taste of James's tummy. People didn't spend as much time washing their stomachs, and they generally didn't get sweat on them as much. So the taste and scent were wholly that person's. That meant that Alfie could get James's natural scent and taste that wasn't covered by any kind of lotion or deodorant or cologne. While Alfie approved very much of James's cologne and deodorant, it was wonderful to get a nose full of just his scent.

He may have left way too many hickies on James's stomach. But so what if he did? He liked it, and James wasn't complaining. And damn he tasted delicious.

After a time, Alfie crawled up and lay next to James and grinned at him. "So, now how do you feel?"

"Well… that are different," James said. He rolled over a little and drew Alfie into a kiss. "You still want sex?"

Alfie laughed. "With my beautiful boyfriend, of course I do!"

"Good," James said. This time it was his turn to smirk. He pushed Alfie down and started to kiss him, demanding but sweet in a way that was so perfectly James that Alfie absolutely melted.

* * *

"This really is the best option," Sam said, typing away furiously. "This way you can sketch me and I can get my words done."

"If you say so," Lucifer said. "I am very impressed by your ability to type and talk at the same time, though."

"Mmmhmm," Sam said, but he wasn't really listening.

He had promised to help Lucifer do modeling for him so Lucifer could be ready when his commissioner was ready. And that was fine, but Sam had apparently miscalculated one way or another how his story was going to end. He was either gonna be under the word count he thought or way over it and one way or another he was trying to write as fast and as much as possible. He could edit later, but he needed the story to be finished first and he was going to get it done by the rough draft deadline, damn it, and he only had five days to do it.

And maybe it was selfish, but he had written in the art room the last time he'd come to help Lucifer, and the time before that he'd also gotten a big burst of inspiration. Also, maybe Mephis sounded more in character when Lucifer was around. And maybe Sam just liked looking over at Lucifer sitting on Matt's bed with his legs pulled up so he could prop his sketch book against something.

Sam smiled a little when Lucifer's nose scrunched up in disgust. He did that sometimes and Sam could practically hear Lucifer thinking 'Why the hell did I just do that?' Sometimes he'd started erasing furiously, sometimes he'd keep going. Sometimes he'd move to a new part of the page and started over.

"Okay," Lucifer said, kicking his legs out so his socked feet dangled over the bed.

"Okay?" Sam asked, quickly looking back down at his computer.

"If I'm gonna be doing face sketches I need to be a lot closer," Lucifer said, standing up.

"Oh? How close?" Sam asked, glancing up and back down and then back up when he realized that Lucifer was talking over to him.

"Oh, I don't know," Lucifer said, sitting down on Sam's bed next to Sam, his sketchpad and pencil in one hand, and one of Emerson's crocheted pillows in the other. He sat down facing Sam, close enough that he could have just tilted his head a bit and be able to read what Sam was writing. "I think about this close."

"Shit! No way, that's way too close," Sam said.

"Come on, Sam," Lucifer whined. "I really need to have these sketches done for when I get my assignment in a few days. And I know you're going to be busy for the next few days too, so it's really now or never. And you're never not going to be writing so there's no other good time."

"I don't like people looking over my shoulder," Sam protested.

"I won't be looking over your shoulder," Lucifer said.

"But you could, really easily. Look, I really don't like having anyone over my shoulder when I'm on the computer at all to begin with. I don't care if I'm only looking at pictures of kittens. It's really disconcerting. But having someone over my shoulder when I'm writing? That's a huge no go for me," Sam tried to explain.

"Yeah, but I'm not going to read over your shoulder. I really can't see your computer from here," Lucifer said.

"Yeah, but your close enough that you move at all and you can," Sam said.

"You don't trust me?"

"I don't trust anyone," Sam said. "Not with this."

"What, it's not like you're writing smut right now," Lucifer said.

"Well maybe I am. Maybe the two characters are having angry sex and thinking this is the last time and then it comes out what's going on and it's a huge freaking deal to the story," Sam said.

"Wait, you are writing smut?" Lucifer asked, blinking a bit. Sam felt his face get red.

"Yes, I am."

"Yeah, but you know that I don't actually care right? I mean, if you're writing the most hardcore porn in the world I don't care. I can't read it right now. You're on a deadline, but so am I," Lucifer said.

"Yeah, except you're not even going to start until you get your orders, while I have to have my rough draft finished."

"Like you can't stretch it out after that. And this is really freaking me out. I want to do well. Sam, I swear I won't read anything you're writing, but you've got this amazing face and I want to draw you while you're concentrating like that," Lucifer said.

Sam glared at him for a minute. He really, really didn't have time to stop. He was sprinting to the end. He was still trying to find a way to finish and land this thing and the whole reason he'd started writing this insane thing at all was sitting next to him, calling him beautiful and giving him the biggest puppy eyes Sam had ever seen.

"Fine," Sam said. It wasn't like he could really say no to Lucifer.

And then Lucifer gave Sam this blinding bright smile and it was all over. Yeah, Sam could never say no to Lucifer. It was probably a lot safer for Sam that they weren't going out.

"Thank you, Sam," Lucifer said. Sam watched Lucifer resettle himself and pick up his sketch book again.

Sam turned back to the computer and tried to focus on his words. He could hear the scratch of a pencil even louder than it had ever seemed before. He remembered just how close Lucifer sat the last time they sat together for face sketches. Lucifer wasn't even as close this time, but Sam felt so much more aware of him.

"You mind if I put on some music?" Sam asked.

"No, it's no problem," Lucifer said.

Sam very specifically didn't look at Lucifer as he pulled up Spotify and hit play on one of his playlists. Music helped him focus better. Also, he couldn't even really hear the scratching of the pencil with the music on. Well, he could, but it was easier to hear the music, and therefore easier to shut of his brain to anything but the words.

He started typing again. He was so, so close to the end of this. He'd thought he'd budgeted his time right all along, but it just didn't really work out the way he thought it would. He had taken time to flesh out scenes during the days right after the mock trial competition. And then there were other scenes that felt like they needed more. That was the problem with editing before he even finished.

Oh but he was close. Mephis and Alexander were at the breaking point. They'd already split up and Mephis had just promoted Alexander, but Mephis was quitting to go do something else, anything else. And Alexander felt like he'd been dragged through the mud and he can't understand why Mephis even bothered to promote him now anyway, since everyone already knows that Alexander is a slut. And they hate and love each other so much and it's after the party where Alex was promoted and they both go home with each other even though they're both sober and it's going to be their last night never.

And they're about to tell each other soon, and Sam is so close to that point it's driving him nuts.

Even still, he couldn't help up look over at Lucifer now and then. He looked beautiful when he was concentrating like that. Sam thought of the scene he'd written (and would probably need to rewrite) where Mephis first sketches Alex. Sam thought about how Mephis sketched again Alex after that in the story and how Alex liked watching him do it.

His own self had bled into the character there so much. He thought of Lucifer's art while he was writing that. Lucifer was an amazing artist and he hadn't chosen an easy path to be a part of. Artists, especially painters who weren't involved in some kind of animation or design could have a hard time finding work. Even those in animation and design could have a hard time getting work. Lucifer wanted to paint, and he did amazing work, but finding someone to pay for it was going to be the issue.

Lucifer glanced up and saw that Sam was looking. He smiled at Sam and Sam smiled back and looked back at his work. He wrote a paragraph that wasn't part of the story, but that he knew he could put in there near the end.

' _It's not like Alex had ever expected this. Not in his wildest dreams. When he'd pictured himself with Mephis, he always thought of wild sex. He thought of the blood pumping through his veins and his guilt swallowing him whole. When he'd signed up for this, that's what he'd thought of, guilt or humiliation. Instead, he lay next to Mephis while Mephis sketched something. He'd occasionally run his left hand through Alexander's hair and Alexander would move his head up a little to meet it._

_It was easy. It was intimate. It was everything he'd ever really wanted with a person and had never figured it out. And he certainly never thought he'd have it with a man he'd tried so hard to hate. But for that moment, it was exactly everything he needed.'_

Well, it wasn't perfect, but Sam didn't want that feeling to go away. He'd imagined Lucifer and him together in some kind of acrobatic sex, or something. But he never pictured this. He never thought he'd be able to think of anything but Lucifer when he was with Lucifer. But Lucifer was sketching him, and Sam was writing and while he was thinking about Lucifer now and then, he was surprisingly focused.

It was intimate and it was easy. It was like Emerson and Matt, curled around each other as they studied Bio. It was like Alfie when he was thinking of his boyfriend. It was like the day he'd walked in on Gabriel and Samandriel making cookies. It was like Dean and Cas and Lisa curled up on the sofa under one blanket, just to press against each other. It was like his mom and dad, moving around each other in perfect harmony as they made breakfast the same way they had for so many years.

That intimacy was better than anything Sam had ever dreamed. If he never got past their friendship, then that was something Sam could be very happy with. If Sam found a man and Lucifer found a man, and they each had their own family, but they could still sit with each other and Sam could write and Lucifer could draw, that would be totally perfect.

Maybe it was okay for them to just be friends. Maybe this was how Sam got over his crush. Lucifer as a real, flesh and blood human was so much better that everything Sam had dreamed. Even if kissing would have been nice, the friendship was better than the dream. Reality was better than a dream, because he could touch reality.

The romance wasn't necessary.

Sam smiled and saved his work and then jumped back into what he'd been writing. He knew how to end this now. And in his story, his lovers would end up together, because that was what people wanted. But what he'd really been writing all along wasn't about explosive sex and explosive drama. It was about two people who tried to only do sex, and through that found emotions, and thoughtfulness and care. That was what he'd always been writing. Intimacy.

So his lovers would wind up together. And they'd learn to share, because honestly, the whole secret bullshit was what kept them apart to begin with. Sam wondered why people couldn't be honest. He blushed a little at the thought. Telling Lucifer would blow up for sure.

"Oh, did you get to a really juicy bit?" Lucifer asked.

"No, shut up. I don't blush through writing a sex scene," Sam said.

Lucifer grinned in that completely evil manner that he could get sometimes. "Really, cause that's what it looks like you just did."

"Shut up," Sam said again, sounding fond. He turned back to his computer and started typing away furiously. He had an ending to write.

* * *

_Alex pressed his head into Mephis's shoulder and laughed. This, this sheer stupidity is what they'd been fighting over the whole time? It was like a play. Girl falls for boy, boy falls for other girl. Other girl already had a boyfriend. Totally other dude gets his head changed into a donkey's. Except in this case both he and Mephis were the ass._

" _Some great detectives we are," Mephis said, giggling a little._

" _I know, right? It's so damn pathetic," Alex said, giggling as well. He rolled away. This really, really wasn't a conversation to have right after sex when they were both tired and both wanting to fall asleep._

_Oh but the laughter felt so good, and hearing Mephis laugh… it had been far too long._

" _We're idiots," Alex said._

" _Total dumb asses," Mephis agreed, letting out a little giggle._

" _Have you slept at all?" Alex asked, giggling too. Mephis sounded like he was the kind of tired that made you four sheets to the wind._

" _Nope, not for about three days. How about you?" Mephis asked, trying to pull his laughter together._

" _Same," Alex said. They looked at each other and then dissolved into giggles all over again. They were absolute idiots. But that was still the best news Alexander had gotten in weeks._

\- "The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> James Haggerty's house is based on a real place. Here's the [zillow](http://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/house,townhouse_type/77455802_zpid/days_sort/39.057484,-95.66843,39.016416,-95.732374_rect/13_zm/) listing if you're curious


	14. Chapter 14

Sam pounded out the last few words. He hesitated. Really, it felt like it was over, but he knew he could add more. He knew he could add a lot more. Still, he tacked on "The End" and hit save. It was just a rough draft and he'd start working with his beta about edits in a week. He was going to be taking a short writing vacation.

He kinda wished that Lucifer wasn't about to be starting a big project. Sam wanted to have some time with him. Maybe he could convince Lucifer to take the next week off too. He could model for him again or something. Or they could find a car and drive to Kansas City for the weekend and go to _Worlds of Fun_ theme park.

It was a nice dream anyway.

He sent off the document and settled in for a wait. They'd already been assigned an artist and they'd get their assignments once they had their stuff sent in and then one of the admins found their email. He hoped that would be soon.

"Knock, knock, is the spell broken yet?" Emerson asked, coming into the room with a package under her arm.

"Yeah, I'm good for the moment. I'm waiting to see who my artist is," Sam said. He set his laptop aside and sat up. "Is that Matt's birthday gift?"

"Yeah. You okay with hiding it until this evening?" She still went over and pushed the package under Sam's bed anyway.

"Yeah, any news on where we'll be having this thing?" Sam asked.

"Oh? You haven't heard? Well, I guess you have been a little tunnel-visioned the past few days. Dr Haggerty offered to host us at his house."

"Really?" Sam asked, suddenly really curious.

"Yeah, so the big gossip is that Samandriel invited Cassie Robinson too," Emerson said. "And Gabriel agreed, but he's been pretty sulky about it."

"Can't say I mind. It'll be nice to have someone else there who isn't an SO. So, it's the Pikes, you, me, Cassie Robinson, Gabe, and Dr Haggerty?" Sam asked.

"Yep, that's the guest list," Emerson said, getting up off the floor and dusting off her tights. "And Alfie's cooking."

"And now I don't know if I should be terrified or hungry," Sam said. Because, for whatever reason, Alfie took to cooking like a duck to water, but basically became the most horrible person in existence if you got near him while he was cooking.

"Probably both," Emerson said. "But at least the cake will be amazing this year, and we'll get to see where Alfie's basically spent the last week."

Because Alfie basically came back to maybe shower, but definitely grab a change of clothes before he was heading back to his boyfriend's house. Either they'd cool down about that during finals, or Alfie would wind up moved in.

"If Alfie winds up moving out, we could get on one of the co-ed halls and maybe you and Matt can live together," Sam said. "And Samandriel and I can share the other room next year."

"That's a nice thought," Emerson said, sitting down next to Sam. "So, since you've finished your great race to the end for your first draft, why aren't you out socializing?"

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Sam pointed out. He smiled when she smiled at him.

"Yes, but I mean outside of your room with more than one person," She said.

"I'm waiting to see who my artists is. I'm basically not even gonna be functional because I'm gonna be too busy checking email every five minutes to be anything but manic," Sam explained. "I doubt I'd be good company."

"And what would you be doing if I wasn't here?" Emerson asked, laughing a little. She pulled the laptop into her lap and clicked around on it. It was telling of how Sam was feeling that he didn't snap at her about it. The past few weeks he'd been so protective of his computer and backing things up and not getting it messed up so he couldn't finish that it was kind of actually a relief to suddenly not care so much.

"I'd probably be biting my nails so bad that I'd end up chewing off my fingers," Sam admitted.

Emerson laughed and shot him a look over his laptop screen. "Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm here to distract you, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is," Sam said, relaxing a little.

"Anyway, have you gone shopping for gifts yet?" She asked.

"Yeah, I have, I mean I got them over winter break," Sam admitted. "I actually got them from Dean during the Mock Trial competition and snuck them home in my briefcase."

"I'm guessing everyone gets books this year," Emerson said with an amused smile.

"Samandriel and Alfie are getting books," Sam said, leaning back against his wall and letting out a happy sigh. "I got Matt a new watch. That doesn't fuck up your gift, does it?"

"Of video games? Nah," She said with a little laugh. "Your email's come in," she said.

"Really!" Sam exclaimed, wrenching the computer back from her and turning it around so he could look. He opened the link, nearly shaking.

It was a little stupid. Themephixandercommunity showed a profile for both artists and writers, but Sam hadn't stopped writing to even think about looking up the artists. Now he almost wished he had. And he was also glad he didn't. If he got someone who wasn't very good, then he would have regretted it because he'd have already looked at all the really good artists and been dreaming about getting one of them. This was his magnum opus for this pairing too. He really wanted someone good.

He winced a bit when he saw the name. He couldn't claim to know all the Mephixander artists, but _Juciluci_? What kind of name was that? He knew it was awful and he should appreciate the hell out of whoever he got, but he suddenly imagined some 14 year old artists drawing for this story. It made him super uncomfortable in more than one way. He had really, really graphic sex scenes all throughout his story. Even if a 14 year old was the greatest artist of all time, he still wouldn't be okay with that 14 year old reading and writing stuff for his story.

He sighed and clicked on the link to the person's tumblr. There were a few _Doctor Who_ posts to start, but the page itself looked nice. It was a good background color a soft, creamy, peachy pink with a white block where the posts were, and where a side image was slowly loading. Sam grumbled about the slow internet connection at the school for a moment.

Then the picture loaded. He'd never actually seen it before. It was of the Eiffel tower at night. The first thing Sam thought was 'Lucifer'. Of course it wasn't, _clearly_. It was just Paris and Lucifer had been to Paris. Sam ignored that it did look a lot like Lucifer's style. What did Sam know about artistic style anyway? He was a really shitty artist, after all.

Sam clicked on the fan art tab and his heart dropped into his stomach. "Lucifer," he said softly.

"What?" Emerson asked.

"It's… Lucifer! It's Lucifer!" Sam nearly shouted. Emerson pressed into his side to look at what he was looking at.

The note under the pictures said: " _So, after a lot of struggle, I think I finally got Alexander's face right. Lol. What do you think?"_

It was a couple of sketches from different directions of a face. Sam's face. Well, it wasn't exactly Sam's face, but it was so close to the sketches Sam had seen Lucifer doing of his face only about five days before. One of them was definitely one that Lucifer had done of him that Sam had seen.

"It's… Sam, that's you," Emerson said.

"He was sketching me like that… just… it's!" Sam couldn't even find words. He started scrolling down.

Emerson made noises, or said something, but Sam wasn't listening. He looked at each piece of art that came up. Any time Alexander popped up in a picture, Sam found that he was looking at himself. It wasn't exact. None of them were near as close as the sketches that had just been posted. But it was Sam!

"Shit, Sam," Emerson said, that Sam finally heard.

"It's… he's drawing me. He's been drawing me," Sam said, sounding and feeling more than a little hysterical.

There were pictures going back years, back to when they were in high school. And it was Sam. It was always Sam.

"Hey, what are you two looking at," Matt asked, making Sam jump. Matt wasn't supposed to be back for an hour. Sam looked at the time and cursed. It had been over an hour. The time just snapped by.

"Lucifer likes Sam," Emerson said.

"Really? Did you finally ask him out?" Matt asked, sounding happy.

"No! Look!" Emerson said, turning the computer around so Matt could see it.

"Motherfucker!" Matt exclaimed once he'd gotten closer. "Sam, that's you."

"Juciluci," Sam said.

"What?" Matt asked.

"That's the screen name, Juciluci," Sam said.

"Good god! That man is made for you!" Matt declared. "You named yourself Samallamin, and he's Juciluci and you've both had ridiculous crushes on each other where you've used each other and muses for years," Matt said, scrolling back up. "It's tragic and hilarious."

"I have to go talk to him," Sam said, grabbing his computer and shutting it. He pulled on his shoes and grabbed his keys and key card and just walked out.

"Sam!" Matt called after him but Sam ignored him. It didn't matter, whatever it was. He had to talk to Lucifer.

He pulled out his phone while he was in the elevator down.

*Hey, are you in the art room? *

*Where else would I be? I got my stuff! ;)*

Sam felt a little cold. Lucifer had been using him as a model for the big bang. Lucifer didn't have a commission, he'd been getting ready to get the fic he'd been assigned. Lucifer was going to try and use him as a model for his own story.

Sam shoved his phone back into his pocket and stormed out. He realized with a shiver what Matt had been calling him about. It was April, but it was still nippy and damn he should have brought a jacket, but whatever.

Sam stormed across the campus, heading for the art room. He followed the familiar path and stairs down to the art room. Lucifer was laying sprawled over the sofa, reading on his tablet. Sam slammed the door to the stairs shut, making Lucifer jump.

"Juciluci?" Sam asked. Lucifer went a bit pale.

"Um, what?" Lucifer asked.

"Juciluci?" Sam asked, opening his computer. After a second the picture came back up, the one of him as Alexander naked, injured and restrained. It was from "The Demon King's Bride", Sam was actually a little surprised he'd never seen it before, but it didn't matter that he hadn't before, because he had now.

"How… How did you see that?" Lucifer asked, sitting up very slowly.

"I was sent your name for the fic exchange," Sam snapped, shutting his computer and setting it aside. He needed to put it aside because his hands were shaking so bad that if he didn't put the computer down he might drop it and break it.

"It… you're Samallamin?" Lucifer asked, getting a little paler.

"I thought when I agreed to this that I was being used for like… for a gallery show or something, not that I was some image you wanted to fuck as someone else!" Sam snapped.

"Come on, Sam, that's not what it is," Lucifer said.

"Then what is it?" Sam demanded

"It's… god, this was never how I wanted you to find out," Lucifer said.

"Well, it's how I did! So tell me what it is."

Sam's chest was heaving from the deep, angry breaths he was taking. He wanted to scream and cry and hide and never look anyone in the eyes ever again. How had it turned out like this? This wasn't cute or fun or anything.

"I… Sam, I've really liked you for a really long time," Lucifer said quietly. His shoulders slumped a bit and he looked rather defeated, which was not what Sam wanted.

"Well, you did a really shitty way of showing it!" Sam snapped.

"What, I was just supposed to go up to a 14 year old kid and tell him that I liked him?" Lucifer demanded.

"Well, maybe you couldn't have spent so many years completely ignoring me!"

"I didn't ignore you," Lucifer said. "I watched you all the time."

"And that doesn't make it any better or any less creepy!" Sam started. "And when I actually tried to talk to you when we were in tutoring, you just looked at me like you didn't even know who I was! I told you that I'd always really liked your art and you looked at me like you had no idea that I'd known you before that day!"

"I was freaking out!" Lucifer snapped. "You were someone I was supposed to help and I wasn't supposed to just push you down and kiss you. And then you told me that you liked my work and I just fritzed out. I had no idea what to do. And then you just quit all together!"

"Because I was only there because I wanted you to notice me!" Sam shouted. "I was a stupid, pathetic child who was letting my stupid pathetic crush dictate my academic future."

"Wait," Lucifer said quietly. "You like me?"

"Of course I do! I've been in love with you since high school!" Sam shouted. "I've been writing about you for years."

"Wait… that really was me as Mephis?" Lucifer asked.

"Yes!"

"Then why in hell are we arguing? You wrote me and I drew you and we both like each other, so what's the problem?" Lucifer asked.

"Because you've been drawing Alexander, me, you've been drawing me naked for everyone to see!" Sam had tried to sound calm, but he just ended up shouting at the end again. "I may have been writing you, but who would know that was you? But you've been drawing me as fanart and what if that pops up when I try to get into law school? What if people see that and it gets back to my parents? What then?"

"Oh," Lucifer said.

"Yeah, oh," Sam said. "You never told me, but you've been using me."

"Now you don't get to be the only one pissed over that!" Lucifer said. It was his turn to get loud. "You just admitted that you were stalking me in art just so you could be in the same breathing space as me even though you didn't care about art. You went to classes. You went to tutoring and wasted my time just so I would sit next to you and maybe see that "damn, this guy is pretty?" Fuck that!"

"I do like art! I didn't just go to tutoring to be around you, you happened to be the tutor. But if you didn't notice, I'm shit at it. I like art. I like art history. But I'm crap at drawing. Which, by the way, I learned because I was watching you draw. I learned to like it because I liked you and wanted to know more about what you liked!"

"You don't get to accuse me or being a stalker and then admit that you're one yourself. You don't get to be the only one who's mad," Lucifer said with a quiet smolder that made Sam shiver.

"And you don't get to show me off to everyone and think I'll just be okay with it," Sam said bitterly.

Lucifer went silent for a moment and they just stood there. The silence was deafening. Sam looked at Lucifer, who was absolutely glaring at him. Then he looked down.

"I should go," Sam said.

"You should," Lucifer agreed.

Sam nodded, and looked down at Lucifer's feet. He thought about saying something, but instead he picked up his computer and walked out. Maybe this was how he got his closure.

* * *

Lucifer stood frozen for a long moment. This was the worst, worst way that Sam could have taken this. It wasn't how he wanted it at all.

He slowly lowered himself back onto the sofa and looked down at his iPad. Just ten minutes before he'd been so happy. He'd gotten his exchange and seen that it was a writer he'd actually drawn art of before, though he'd felt too shy to talk to samallamin in the past.

Lucifer laughed bitterly. It was a painful coincidence.

He'd been happy. By some sheer twist of luck, Sam hadn't thought of him as a creepy old guy and had been willing and even happy to hang out with him. And he'd been able to sit next to Sam and draw him and all of that had been very amazing. And then he got the email and he'd been reading part of Samallamin's new story that _he_ was going to be illustrating.

So yeah, ten minutes ago he'd been having the best day over. And now that was over. It was crashed and broken at his feet. What was he supposed to do? He didn't even know where to start. Sam was never going to want to see him again. Ever. Their friendship, the closeness they'd built, the wonderful warmth that was between them was gone.

It felt worse than when any his high school relationships ended.

And why shouldn't it? Lucifer dated other people, but Sam was his first love and for a moment it seemed like even if they couldn't be together as lovers, they could be together as friends. It had been perfect.

And now they were broken up. It felt like someone was trying to rip him in two.

He gathered up his things quickly and went, heading for Gabriel's room. He had a key to Gabriel's door, which he really shouldn't have, but he did anyway. He was glad to, because if he talked to anyone he was going to fall apart. But walking over to Gabriel's place, that wasn't hard. It was very doable.

He took the stairs, because no one really took the stairs up to their dorm and he didn't have to stand still. Honestly, climbing so many stairs was a little punishing and he wanted that. He jogged up the stairs so he was panting pretty hard by the time he got up there.

Trying to open Gabriel's door was a bitch. It felt like the key wasn't going to work even though Lucifer knew it fit and that the lock hadn't changed. Hell, he could see how it lined up, but it seemed like he couldn't actually get the key to go in.

And then it slipped in and he was able to unlock the door and get inside. He walked to Gabriel's door and knocked. "I'm coming in," he said, and then came in.

"Jesus! The fuck is-" Gabriel started, then stopped when he saw Lucifer's face. "Shit, are you okay."

"Sam found out," Lucifer said quietly.

"Shit," Gabriel hissed.

"Found out what?" Samandriel asked. He and Gabriel had been curled up on Gabriel's bed when Lucifer burst in.

"Lucifer's in love with Sammykins," Gabriel said, getting up. He guided Lucifer over to one of the desk chairs and made him sit.

"But, Sam's in love with Lucifer, so I don't see how him finding that out would be a bad thing," Samandriel protested.

"Wait, Sam likes Lucifer?" Gabriel asked. "That's the dude that Sam was trying to get over? How could you not tell me?"

Samandriel shrugged. "It wasn't my secret to tell, and I imagine he didn't want you to go run and tell Lucifer, which you would have."

"Yeah, but then all of this would have been over forever ago, because Lucifer is totally head over heels for Sam," Gabriel said.

"Which doesn't explain why Lucifer looks this bad," Samandriel pointed out.

"Yeah, Faer, what happened?" Gabriel asked. He pulled the other chair in the room over so he could sit down next to Lucifer and hold his hand. Lucifer appreciated the gesture at least. Samandriel sat on the edge of the bed, not too close or too far away.

"So, you know how I've been really, really excited about the big bang?" Lucifer asked quietly. He had to keep himself together for this. He had to just say it and get it all out.

"Yeah," Gabriel said. "You know, Sammy's doing the same one this year."

"I know," Lucifer said flatly.

"Oh. How-" Gabriel started.

"I was assigned to Sam. And he went and found my art," Lucifer said.

"Oh shit!" Gabriel said. Of course Gabriel would know. Gabriel was the nose Lucifer shoved his work under when he needed someone to say nice things to him.

"Oh shit?" Samandriel asked.

"Lucifer draws the same pairing Sam likes. But while Sam writes about his Lucifer insert having sex, Lucifer actually draws his Sam insert having sex," Gabriel said.

"Oh… Jesus," Samandriel said. Lucifer felt a weak hiccup of a laugh come out of his mouth.

"That's an understatement," Lucifer said weakly. "And it just exploded. He told me… that it was too creepy, what I did."

"Like he hasn't been a creepy creep creep for months," Samandriel said. "Did he tell you that he was stalking you in art?"

"Yeah, and I got mad and told him that he couldn't just call me out and pretend like he was innocent in the whole thing," Lucifer muttered bitterly. "But then he said that it didn't matter because it wasn't like anyone would link what he was writing to me, but that they might link my art to him."

"Oh please," Samandriel snorted. "Sam's been practically creaming himself over the idea of you using him as a model since you started drawing him. He's been hoping that he inspired your art."

"What happened to that was his secret to tell?" Gabriel asked with an amused look on his face.

"I didn't know you could be so… vulgar," Lucifer added.

"I grew up with Alfie," Samandriel pointed out.

"Point," Lucifer conceded.

"And Sam's being a stupid hypocrite. Yes, I think it's a bit skeezy, but he's been just as skeezy about all of it. I think it freaked him out and for whatever reason, Sam Winchester is terrified of getting what he wants… Just, I know it looks bad, but I don't think this is critical."

"You're telling me that I might still have a chance?" Lucifer asked. Hope ripped into him almost more than the hurt did. Because if he hoped and then this exploded it would hurt way, way more.

"I think there's a really good chance," Samandriel said. "For now though… just keep your head down. If you see Sam, tell him you're sorry, but otherwise keep the conversation short, like super short and then get out of there. I'm going to work on Sam myself."

"Where did this superhero streak come from kiddo?" Gabriel asked, a big grin settling onto his face.

"We had this huge… problem and it was messy and I imagine that we'll have other problems again. Not anytime soon." He added that last part quickly. "But in the future. We'll have fights. And that's… it happens in healthy relationships and we're still feeling all this out. Meanwhile, Sam's been mooning over Lucifer for forever… and honestly if he can't even try when Lucifer's only as guilty as he is, then maybe he didn't want this like he thought he did. But I don't want to watch him mope about it."

"So, annoyance is why you're doing this," Lucifer said.

Samandriel blushed, looking a little abashed. "Yeah… Lucifer, I really do think he'll come around. It just freaked him out a little bit. Please don't worry. I think this can be fixed."

"Are you certain?" Lucifer asked, feeling that painful hope again.

"Almost positive," Samandriel said.

* * *

_Alexander saw a smirk flash on Mephistopheles' face right before he shoved him out of the way. He was completely unarmed and had his hands stuffed into his pockets. He looked very nonchalant for someone about to be charged by a madman with an ax._

" _Go!" Mephis shouted, but Alexander was frozen._

_He always knew that Beelzebub was manic and unhinged, but seeing him come at his little brother with an ax, that was more that Alex could stand. He ran to Beelze and grabbed his arm, holding on tight. Alex was weak and weakened from his capture. Beelzebub was a powerful demon. Even still, that grab was enough of a distraction._

_Beelzebub made a funny noise, and Alex realized that blood was coming from his mouth. He made another noise, a squelching noise and started to stumble back._

" _Move!" Mephis called and Alexander jumped back._

_Beelzebub fell to the ground, twitching and seizing. A knife was pressed into his stomach. Alexander recognized it as Deborah's demon killing knife, the one she'd lost when they fought Beelzebub's hoard._

" _How?" Alexander asked._

" _I may have borrowed it for a little bit," Mephis said, still smirking._

\- Chapter 21, _Broken Crown_ , book 4 of the "Book of Deborah" Series by H.R. Remy


	15. Chapter 15

"So," Alfie said slowly. "You're mad because Lucifer is just as creepy as you?"

They'd all passed around computers, looking at the pictures Juciluci posted. Well, not Samandriel, who wasn't back, but Alfie, Matt, Emerson and Sam had. Sam had come back raging over two hours before and they were still discussing it of sorts.

"He drew me tried naked to a table," Sam said.

"Based on a scene that you wrote," Alfie said. "Where you picture yourself as Alexander so you can imagine you being fucked by Lucifer, who you picture as Mephis."

"That's not the point," Sam said.

"Then what is?" Alfie asked exasperatedly.

Sam opened his mouth to answer, but they all turned when they heard the door open. Samandriel came in and waved. He looked pretty tired.

"Hey, did your language lab run over?" Alfie asked.

"Nah, I was with Gabriel," Samandriel said. He dropped his bag and kicked it into a corner. He walked in and plopped down on Matt's bed. "And I would have been back sooner, but then Lucifer showed up."

"Oh," Sam said, stiffening a bit.

"Yeah, oh," Samandriel said, looking at Sam very closely until Sam started to shift a bit. "You're a huge dick Winchester."

"Excuse me?" Sam asked.

"You heard me," Samandriel said. "The guy is fucking crushed and you're probably up here bitching about how he used you or something."

"That's exactly what he's doing," Matt said. Sam shot him a glare. Matt grinned and waved.

"So here's the deal," Samandriel pressed on. "You gotta ask yourself if this is worth not getting the guy you've been pining over for the past few years." Samandriel stood back up. "And I suggest the rest of us go to bed, because we all have classes tomorrow."

"Yeah, and I got a whole meal to make," Alfie said.

"Don't bitch like you aren't totally happy with that," Samandriel said, grabbing Alfie and tugging him out.

"Yeah, I better go to," Emerson said. She gave Matt a kiss. "Night baby. Night Sam," she said.

"I hate you!" Matt called in a warm and loving voice. He'd be the one stuck with Sam, after all. And that made Sam scowl.

"Love you," Emerson called as she walked out.

"Love you too," Matt said, kind of on automatic, but also probably because of some sappy need to have her hear him say that in case something happened to her between now and morning.

Matt got up and went and closed the door and then started to get changed for bed.

"So what, you think I'm a dick too?" Sam asked, starting to do the same. He closed his computer and carefully pushed his computer under his bed.

"Uh… a little," Matt said. "I mean I get it," he added quickly. "It's your body and your face and it's tied to something you love, but you're also not sure you want your family and potential employers to know what you like. But not even that, he drew you without his permission for years and posted it for people to see. For some people you're their image for this character."

"Yeah," Sam said quietly. It sounded… well, a little cool when Matt said it like that, but he could tell that they both knew it wasn't completely.

"And he liked you and did nothing, which has to hurt because it feels like you could have been saved all that heartache if he'd said," Matt said.

"Yeah, exactly," Sam said, pulling on a tee shirt and climbing into bed.

"But you know… he probably wishes you said sooner too… 'cause then he wouldn't have had to feel like you felt, ya know?"

"Yeah," Sam said quietly. "Matt… you think we could not talk about it?"

"Yeah, it's fine, Sam." Matt turned off the over head and felt his way to bed in the dark.

It didn't take Matt long to be settled and to even be asleep. But Sam had a lot more difficult time of it.

* * *

Cassie Robinson was cool enough to come pick up Sam, Matt and Emerson. Dr Haggerty had given a ride to Gabriel and Samandriel. It just made getting there much less awkward. Gabriel had agreed to be nice to Cassie, but it still probably wasn't a great idea to have them pressed in a car together. Also, Samandriel and Gabriel were both pretty much pissed at Sam.

Not that Sam wasn't pissed at himself. He couldn't get the hurt look on Lucifer's face out of his head. But he hadn't decided what to do yet. He needed to think about things. And for a while he needed to not think about it at all.

He'd thought about it all through studying for his classes and through trying to quickly wrap gifts with Emerson and getting loaded into the car to go and through the whole drive and through piling up the gifts by each brother's name tag (Friday was technically Samandriel's birthday, as he was born at 11:58, and the other two came after. Though they always had their birthday on the same day). Sam had tried to focus on the gifts, since each brother got a gift each from the other two, one each from Sam, and one each from each brother's SO, and one each from their parents.

Sam had counted and totaled that each brother should get 7 gifts each. Then he counted and organized each pile to be certain that was correct. If anyone had asked him what he was doing, he would have said he was avoiding the kitchen. With Alfie's temperament that would have been a totally reasonable excuse if everyone else hadn't gone on a tour of the house.

Sam was never in a million years going to get Alfie's attraction to old men. That being said, he still couldn't help but smile when Alfie grabbed his lover and tugged him into a kiss. He didn't even mind that Alfie spent most of the night trying to crawl under Dr Haggerty's arm, or into his lap, or talk him into a quick birthday blow job.

It was nice to see him happy after seeing him be mopey for so long. He had a thoroughly love sick look on his face. It was one Sam knew very well, having seen Matt wear it when he and Emerson first started dating. That had settled into a very sweet kind of relationship in the end. And by the looks for it, Dr Haggerty adored Alfie every bit as much as Alfie adored him.

Maybe it would work out for another one of the Pike boys.

While the others tried to find music to put on that would make everyone happy, Sam went out to the front porch. There were a couple of rocking chairs, but Sam ignored them. Instead he leaned against the railing and looked up at the sky.

"It's nice out, isn't it?" Samandriel asked. Sam smiled a little. At one point he wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between them just from their voice.

"Yeah, warm night," Sam said.

Samandriel walked over and leaned next to Sam. He offered Sam a bottle, which he knew was crème soda, because they'd been drinking it all evening. Sam took a sip and took a heavy sigh. He glanced at Samandriel who was sipping his own drink.

"You gonna call me a dick again?" Sam asked.

"Nah," Samandriel said. "Sam… what did you think when you saw me and Gabriel have that big fall out at the museum?"

"I, uh-"

"And please be honest," Samandriel said.

"Well… honestly, I was thinking that I was glad that it wouldn't work out between me and Lucifer. I didn't think that I could stand it if we had a big blow up like that."

"Well… now you have had a big blow up. And you do seem to be still standing," Samandriel said.

They both chuckled. Sam shook his head and looked down at his bottle. He tapped it against the railed and sighed.

"Sam… you know that what happened with me and Gabriel… it happened because we weren't talking about things. We were so scared of pissing each other off that we weren't saying a damn thing. And honestly, if the only way a relationship works is with total silence… then it's not working."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"What I mean is that have you ever tried talking to Lucifer about how you feel?"

"No," Sam said. Because he never had. They'd never talked about it at all. That was why it was such a shock to realize that Lucifer liked him back about the same amount.

"Then do you think that maybe what you need is to actually talk about?" Samandriel suggested.

"What if we can't work it out?" Sam asked, feeling fear rush up into his chest.

"Sam, do you really think this is working now?" Samandriel demanded.

Sam blushed. "Uh, well, not really."

"Then talk to the man. Apologize for being an ass, and have a conversation about your feelings," Samandriel said with pure exasperation.

"Yeah, I will," Sam said quietly. He looked back down at their bottles.

"Okay then," Samandriel said. He pushed away from the rail and moved away from Sam.

"Sammy?" Sam asked.

"Yeah?" Samandriel asked.

"When you and Gabriel split up… I mean, you talked, that's what helped, right?"

"Talking. We're talking," Samandriel said with a fond smile before he headed back in.

Sam sighed and turned back, looking back out at the road. He sighed again and sipped his drink. He laughed and headed in when "Blah Blah Blah" Started. Sam wasn't missing one of Alfie and Matt's infamous Ke$ha lip singing sessions.

Samandriel was probably right, but it wasn't a night for that much thinking.

* * *

_That was when Debora arrived. Mephis shoved Alexander toward her, sending them sprawling back. He kicked the demon killing knife over to them and hoisted his dead brother's body on his shoulder._

" _Thank you so much, my dear friend, for allowing the regime change I've always been working toward," Mephis said, tipping his head toward Alexander. He walked back up the stairs, leaving Debora and Alexander sprawled on the floor._

Chapter 21, _Broken Crown_ , book 4 of the "Book of Deborah" Series by H.R. Remy


	16. Chapter 16

Lucifer was in the art room again. It was Sunday, but Sam had a feeling that Lucifer might actually live in the art room. He'd seem no proof that Lucifer really had an actual room that he actually slept in. And that would be a really fun musing, but Sam was far too on edge. He carefully shut the door. Lucifer looked up at him and Sam froze for a minute.

"Hello, Sam," Lucifer said quietly.

"Hello, Lucifer," Sam said. His mouth felt a bit dry. He went and walked to Lucifer and sat down next to him on that stupid purple couch.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Lucifer said quietly. He really didn't look that good. He just looked very sad, and Sam hated that. He just wanted to make it all better.

"I'm sorry too," Sam said.

"Do you hate me?"

"No. Couldn't if I wanted to," Sam admitted. Lucifer relaxed a little and Sam felt a little more guilty.

"You understand why I was unhappy right?" Sam asked.

"Yes… are you not unhappy anymore?" Lucifer looked so painfully hopeful.

"No… I'm… it's been not even 48 hours and I miss you," Sam said.

Lucifer was smiling. "You know there's a way to fix that."

"Oh, and what would that be?" Sam asked.

"Well, you could go out with me and then that whole missing me thing would be resolved," Lucifer said with a little smirk. Sam found himself laughing a little.

"I'm not sure it just works like that," Sam said.

"Yeah, well it should," Lucifer said.

"I talked with Samandriel. He suggested we talk," Sam said.

"Okay," Lucifer said, nodding a bit. "Who goes first?"

"Uh, you," Sam said quickly.

"Okay…. Hmm… well, I basically devoured your fanfiction in a night and I kept laughing because I remembered when you'd talk to me about something. You did such a good job obfuscating what your story was about when you talked to me about it," Lucifer said, chuckling a bit.

"That's 'cause most people aren't comfortable when I tell them I'm writing gay porn... and obfuscating, really?" Sam smiled a little.

"You aren't the only one who took writing classes," Lucifer said. "And yeah, but… Honestly, knowing that you were thinking about me when you wrote it… that was really, really hot. That scene where Mephis is drawing Alexander?"

"It needs a rewrite," Sam said.

"Probably," Lucifer admitted with smile. "But I could see how you were inspired by our time together. And that was one of the best feelings I've ever had."

"Really?" Sam asked, feeling a bit breathless.

"Yeah. I mean, I've been drawing you forever. And not just as Alexander. I have so many albums of just you. And my brothers were always laughing at me over it. But that didn't matter. But it was like I was drawing the moon, beautiful and distant. And then I actually started talking to you… God, I was so furious when you quit Art. It felt like… like you were rejecting me." Lucifer went silent for a moment, lost in a memory or a feeling. Sam reached out and touched his arm.

"Lucifer?"

"Right. Yeah. So we started hanging out and suddenly my drawings of you could breath… and when I was sketching you, when I was watching you and drawing you. It came alive for me. It was amazing, Sam. And it's not just because you've got this great face and body. It's because suddenly I had some idea of your personality. Things I'd observed from off far suddenly made sense. I understood why you quirked you mouth and how you did it. And the sass you could come back at me with and the expressions. I wasn't drawing some Adonis. I was drawing my friend. A real life, living, breathing person."

Lucifer paused to take a breath. Sam didn't interrupt him, so Lucifer continued.

"Art on canvas takes away a part of us. Painting is two dimensional. Even if it wasn't, it takes away our movement. Even a film of us takes away the air we breathe and the thoughts we thinks. And painting so, so far from a human… so to actually capture a person's essence on canvas... That's magic, Sam. It's just magic. And truthfully, I never felt like I got close until I was sketching you and putting you into how I drew you, not just the man I thought you were from what I got from far off. There's a bit of you in it. That's why it shines."

"That sounds… beautiful," Sam said.

"Yeah. But it only, only works because I met you, and saw you, and got to know you. It's all you Sam. I want to know you a lot more. And I know that this is weird for you. But this is weird for me too. You're my first love, Sam. This may burst into flame and fall from the sky… But it'll be a fantastic ride. So please, can we try?"

Sam swallowed a little. Lucifer was so passionate. He was so passionate and he wanted to focus so much of that passion on Sam specifically. It was overwhelming. But God, if it wasn't what he'd dreamed of for so much of his life.

"I liked you the first second I saw you," Sam said. It was his turn to say thing. "I thought you were amazing and beautiful and I really, really liked you. So I did things, things I'm not really proud of because I was too scared to get too close to you or get away from you. You shine like the sun, Lucifer," Sam said.

"Thank you," Lucifer said, preening a bit. Sam chuckled.

"So, I got to this point where I was just… I was miserable and unhealthy. I loved writing and while art is okay, it's not something I was good at. I was eating myself alive with stress, and spending most of my free brain cells just trying to think of a way or reason to be around you. It was really bad. And this isn't your fault and I'm not blaming you. I was the idiot."

Sam stopped and looked at Lucifer. Lucifer was looking at him very intently. He was really listening. In a way it was scary. Mostly, though, it was a relief. It was good to know someone was really hearing him.

"So, the Pikes and your brother convinced me to abandon art and do what I really enjoyed… and so I did. And it was like I could breathe… but I had decided to give you up."

Lucifer's breath hitched.

"That was the point of the Big Bang, you see," Sam said in a rush. "I was writing the story I'd always wanted to, but been too afraid to do. I was going to immerse myself in that part of my obsession with you, and then I was giving it up. I was gonna toss it all and try for a clean slate, but only after I'd overloaded on it. This was supposed to be the end. But I was still too scared to completely walk away."

"So you came to the WASA meeting," Lucifer filled in.

"Yeah. Of course I do really love art, but I never felt comfortable joining WASA when I was in Art under false pretenses… but yeah. Suddenly we're together a lot, and we talk and it's just… it was fantastic. If we'd added kissing to the equation was the only way it could have been better. And then I realized that you liked me back and it just threw me so hard. My whole life was that I was the loser you couldn't love. And then it turns out the only reason we weren't together was because I was scared."

It was Sam's turn for his breath to hitch. He felt like shit for saying that out loud. He'd been mad at himself, not at Lucifer. He felt his face flushing. He was so horrible. He'd hurt Lucifer for no damn reason.

"I forgive you, Sam," Lucifer said. Sam whipped his head around and saw that Lucifer was looking him right in the eyes with a serious expression. "You did hurt me. But you were right. It wasn't cool for me to just draw you like that and if you want, I'll take it down."

"No… I mean, it's a little weird, but I do kinda like it too," Sam admitted.

Lucifer looked relived. He grinned. "Okay, good."

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Sam said.

"It's okay. You forgive me for hurting you back?" Lucifer asked.

"Yeah, I do."

"Good… because I think this was good."

"What? Us having a big fight?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Because what if we had just started kissing one day and had no idea. How long would we have kept our real selves hidden from each other? Now we have some idea and we can work from there. It's just… it's more honest... and after having just seen Gabriel and his boyfriend's fuck up…" Lucifer made a face and Sam laughed.

"Yeah, I think the same," Sam said.

"So," Lucifer asked, leaning his head on Sam's shoulder. "Can we go out on a date?"

"Sure," Sam said. "Boca Café?"

"Sounds perfect." Lucifer pulled away and grabbed his bag. "First date starts now. Race you out!"

"Not fair!" Sam shouted, hopping up and sprinting off after him. He could hear Lucifer's laughter all the way down the hall and well past when they gout outside. It was beautiful.


	17. Epilogue

_I want to make special thanks and a special announcement for my followers and everyone who's supported me. As of the posting of this story, Juciluci and I have been dating for two months. It's the happiest I think I've ever been._

-"The Devil You Know" by Samallamin, 2014 Mephixander Big Bang, Notes attached to the Epilogue.

* * *

"You've got a sappy smile on your face," Dean said.

"It's perfect," Sam said, smiling at the picture at the end _The Devil You Know_.

Lucifer had gone overboard on the art for the story. Not that Sam minded. Lucifer had taken time to do some more anatomically correct sketches of Sam for his art. Though, those hadn't shown up in the exchange art work. Well, not except for the illustration of Mephis and Alexander laughing naked in the broken office chair. Instead it was six pictures spread across the story, as well as art for the header of each chapter.

Lucifer went way, way overboard.

Honestly, Sam's favorite was the last one, where Mephis and Alexander were curled up in bed together, and Mephis took a picture on his phone of them while Alexander slept. Lucifer had done that as well, and turned it into a piece for the end of the work.

It went really well with their announcement.

"Yeah, well, go over to your boyfriend and celebrate. Just stop wafting sappy germs all over the place," Dean grumbled, tossing Sam the keys.

"I'll tell Lisa and Cas you said that," Sam said.

"Go!" Dean ordered.

Sam cackled. He shut his computer and loaded it into his bag and went to the car. He was more than happy to go to the Milton's for the afternoon. Maybe he and Lucifer would make out (probably). Maybe they'd each pull up their tumblrs and tumbl next to each other (Something Sam had never even dreamed of being possible with anyone). Maybe Sam would watch Lucifer draw. Or Lucifer would watch him write (from the other side of the room. Sam still couldn't have people behind him when he wrote.)

He imagined all these delicious possibilities as he headed to the Milton's. When he pulled up, Lucifer was already out on the front porch. Sam grinned and parked. He grabbed his bag had headed up the steps.

"Were you waiting for me?" Sam asked.

"Dean called and said you were coming," Lucifer said with a smirk. "Kiss me."

"Yes, sir," Sam said. He put his bag down and crawled into Lucifer's lap. They kissed and it was as good as every other time.

They wouldn't be able to stay out there forever. After all, it was Kansas in the summer and it was not comfortable to sit outside that long. It was also a public place and the other brothers tended to heckle. So they'd go hide out in Lucifer's cool, dark room and take an entire day to themselves.

It was perfect.

 

**The End.**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. First of all, I need to thank a few people. Casslastheaven for the amazing art she did. Carry-on-my-wayward-heart for being a really patient beta. Amayakumiko for reading along as I wrote and giving me positive encouragement. Oldmage (aka: my boyfriend) for being the supportive darling that he is. 
> 
> Next, I need to say that this story never would have happened if it weren’t for Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. While the stories are very different in many ways, Fangirl was the inspiration for this story in a lot of ways. It was why I wanted to do a college story at all, and it informed the format (with the fanfics within in the fanfic). If you haven’t read it, I suggest reading it, because in all honesty, that’s probably the best story I’ve ever read that describes the first year of college. I’m little like the main characters, but as I read along I couldn’t help but think of my Freshman year of college. 
> 
> I have noted a reference I made earlier. The link again is here (<http://havveapowwwwoww.tumblr.com/post/41049451561/annie-and-kitty-discuss-sabriel>). This is the reason I came up with the idea for Sam’s Big Bang. If you search through my tumblr you will find a similar post to what Sam made wishing for a Mephixander story (except mine was under Sabriel). 
> 
> I want to comment that this story is EVEN more meta than it seems. You see, in many ways this story was my closure. I don’t have some rampant crush I have been writing about, but I am going to stop writing fanfiction for a while. It’s become like walking through hip high cold mud to get any fanfiction writing done. I’m posting a few chapters of a fanfiction I wrote with Amayakumiko that we finished but I just need to edit. Otherwise, I’m out. 
> 
> I’m starting a new project that’s something I’ve wanted to write for years and I’ve started. Two days into writing that and I feel like I can breathe again when I’ve been breathing water since January. 
> 
> A few more notes, I did a lot of research for this about Kansas, so much so that Google keeps sending me add about moving because they think I’m headed to Kansas. In part, I wrote this because my general annoyance with people who write about Lebanon, KS having a mall or some shit. Like it is about in the middle of nowhere as you can get, okay? 
> 
> If I couldn’t look it up, then I based it on my own college experiences, but if you look up pictures of Washburn University, that’s what the campus in the story looks like. In fact, I used a picture of the campus off the website to make the banner for the story. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for reading. This has been a real roller coaster for me, and I’m so grateful to everyone who helped. And I hope you enjoyed the story.


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